Trump Asks Indian Politicians For Advice

Trump’s campaign is flagging and so he calls up Indian Politicians to seek their advice in this spoof.

Trump calls PM Modi:

Trump: “Hello Prime Minister Modi!”

Modi: “Yes, who is this?”

Trump (while sniffing in between): “I am Donald Trump, of Trump Towers, the billionaire running for the President of United States”

Modi: “Oh! Mr. Trump. How are you? Sorry, I didn’t recognize your voice.”

Trump (again sniffing in between): “Yes. That’s what I hear everywhere I go. There is a huge conspiracy against me. My microphone is hacked. It makes sniffing sound on its own. You know I am very fit. Once elected President, I will be joining you in Yoga. I called you because you are a great man. You are Hindu and I like Hindus. They are beautiful and nice people. I have a few projects going on in India and I want to increase that and be best friend of India. I need your advice for this election. My advisors want me to follow your strategy. You gave a slogan, “Good days will come”. I made a slogan, “Make America Beautiful Again”… oh…. sorry, “Make America Great Again.” Sorry, too much focus on women this week.”

Modi: “I understand. Elections are tough. How may I help you?”

Trump: “I have heard about surgical strikes that you recently ordered on Pakistan. Did that happen?”

Modi: “What do you think?”

Trump: “I think it was brilliant. It doesn’t matter if it happened or not. But Pakistan is in a fix. It wants to admit it to portray India’s aggression to the world. But it also wants to deny it for the local people. That was absolutely brilliant. I want to have some similar surgical strike against Clinton. Do you have some suggestion?”

Modi: “I am sure you have better advisers than me. I am sure they will provide great suggestions knowing the local conditions much better than me.”

Trump: “See you are great. Talking to you, I go the surgical strike idea. I will have say that I got the hold of the emails she deleted, and makeup something outrageous in those emails. She can’t admit it but can’t deny it as she will have to reveal what was on that email. Just as some outrageous claims are being made against me without proof. You are great.”

Modi: "Mr. Trump. You have been making some promises which are difficult to keep."

Trump: "PM Modi, you also didn't keep the promise of getting black money."

Modi: "Well I got them in India itself. People are now busy declaring their black money and no one remembers the money outside."

Trump:"That is just fabulous. You are brilliant. Thanks PM Modi for your time. I will surely need your help once I become the President."

Modi: “Thanks Mr. Trump. It was nice talking to you.”

Trump Calls Delhi CM Arvind Kejriwal.

Trump: “Hello CM. Arvind Kejriwal.”

Arvind: “Who PM Modi? I knew it. I knew it. I knew one day I will get a call from you.”

Trump: “Mr. Kejriwal. This is Donald Trump. I am a candidate running for the US Presidency.”

Arvind: “Oh!”. After a huge sigh. “Yes. Mr. Trump. I like your style. You are like me. You talk what’s in your mind, just like me. How do I help you?”

Trump: “I needed your advice of how to improve my chances of winning.”

Arvind: “Sure. I have been actively following America’s election. You know I have nothing else to do. So I follow world politics, watch movies, write reviews, give speeches etc. Your problem is that the press is not with you. You need to give them money. I gave them money and now they write all good things about me. In modern day, press drives the election. So you need to keep them happy.”

Trump: “hmm…. Let me talk to my advisors. But it looks like they are biased against me. I need to think about it.”

Arvind: “No. it is not the press. It is Modiji”

Trump: “What has PM Modi to do with American Press?”

Arvind: “I am telling you everything is Modi’s fault.”

Trump: “Do you have any proof?”

Arvind: “Just like you, I am honest and honest person don’t need proof.”

Trump: “I see. Thank you Mr. Kejriwal.”

Trump calls Rahul Gandhi

Trump: “Hello, Mr. Rahul Gandhi. This is Mr. Trump. You know there is an election in America and I am a candidate.”

Rahul: “What there is an election in America? No one told me about it. I know about Punjab and UP. I don’t know how many states are there in India. I am not sure what my Great Grand Father was thinking. It is so complicated. I hope Mom has field the right candidates. She also didn’t say about the election in America. Which party you are from? And who is from the opposite party?”

Trump: “I am from the Republican Party and the opposite candidate is Mrs. Hillary Clinton…….”

Rahul (cutting Mr. Trump): “Oh from Ramdas Athvale party. Good. Mrs. Clinton must be from BJP. I hope she is not like Mrs. Sushma Swaraj. She scares me with big bindi and in her saree. She reminds me of a school teacher. How do I help you?”

Trump: “I am looking for tips as to how to defeat her?”

Rahul: “BJP is against the farmers, against the working class. Farmers are committing suicides, they don’t care. Prices are going high. They are not fulfilling their promises. They are….”

Trump (interrupting): “Sorry, I think I have the wrong number.”

Exasperated Donald Trump thinks that even the leaders of the greatest democracy have no tips. I don’t think I can beat Hillary.

 

Thanks Rajeni.

 

Thanks MNR. I think RG should retire from politics. It is not his cup of tea. Maybe his intentions are good, but his oratory is very bad.

 

The Taj Mahal Casino got closed recently. 3000 people lost their jobs. 20 crores for a flat!! Not sure who can afford them.

Yeah the choices are bad. Both are trying very hard to lose.

 

Thanks curiousgals78