True Financial Independence..

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by anika987, Nov 27, 2022.

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  1. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    Finiancial independence..this question has been beaten to death but am just curious about few things..

    It has varied meanings based on each one’s situations and perceptions..

    Is everyone really financially independent according to the terms of the society?

    Agreed,doctors,engineers and other quite reasonably paid people are financially sound..
    What about people who are working in school like after care,tj maxx,target or other jobs which pays a minimum? Maybe few hours..it is not like one can buy a house or car with it..is that still financially independent?

    The above jobs do not need a big degree.It does not have prerequisites.Those jobs can be found by anyone at any age.

    Next people go on to say that “oh..one should occupy themselves doing something”.Well that is induvidual interests and how they occupy themselves.Personally it is each one’s choice of how they want to live according to their situations..

    I read in one article in quora about an woman condemning homemakers as “average non working girls who marries rich men”.That I didn’t understand.Just coz someone does not work outside does not mean she is not smart or hardworking or average.I am sure you must have noticed in your office that it’s not like everyone is above average.She might have talents and smartness which the other person might not possess.This is the same for everyone.

    Why I am irritated is I had a talk with my neighbor who recently found a job in school aftercare after 16 years and she is gloating so much that she is insulting women who are at home.She was a homemaker for all these years and indirectly humiliating herself.


    She thought I will join her and insult homemakers for fun coz am working now.Nope.I am doing this job quite well but it is not like I feel any different as a person.I was the same person with the same smartness and tomorrow one never knows..

    Roles may reverse due to situations.One has to quit to be at home due to personal issues and vice versa..

    Sorry to digress..the neighbor was gloating so much about her finance and I do know how much she earns. It is only enough to maybe pay for groceries and misc expenses.Nothing wrong with that but to insult homemakers and thinking I will do the same??


    There is a professor back in Chennai (family friend)who is so scared of her hubby that she surrenders all her money to her husband.Why didn’t she quit when she is financially sound?

    My aunt lost her husband when she was 35..no education and no support.but her attitude and confidence was amazing.she did not resort to any bad ways! She has meager savings and slowly found a small job and today her son is abroad and earning well. She studied till 12th grade..

    The above two cases are god swear true and for sure you guys must have heard stories this
    yes it is amazing to earn well and all that..secure feeling but the assumption that a homemaker will be left in the blue god forbid something happens is not always right.These situations can differ from person to person. People are educated or people can find something for themselves and live within their means. Everything also in vice Versa..

    Just coz one works in small jobs..it is not like the current homemaker cannot find the same if she has to! It’s not like the above are financially sound and the homemakers are strandard..​

    Are everyone who is working truly financially independent?? What is true financial independence..

    Also Are people who are working..
    is it due to ambitions.
    .is it due to the fact they are used to...
    Is it coz society expects them to…
    Is it for means of living..
    Is it extreme boredom..
    Is it for peer pressure..

    for me ..it was due to peer pressure and could not stick with many jobs coz in the end I was unhappy.Now am in a job which I started out of peer pressure but I am doing it coz am quite good at it..

    Am I earning “money”? Yes.

    Am I earning “enough money” to be “financially independent “? No

    Am I considered a working woman now..yes.

    Was I considered a working woman when I was a homemaker despite making all those hot meals,a lovely clean home everyday,all the car cleaning,grocery,laundary,oil change and lot of other misc activities,kids classes….No..

    but did I enjoy being at home..yes ..a lot..a healthy,happy and a peaceful home we had..I miss it a lot..

    No matter how hard I try..it hurts when someone insults homemakers.even though I know my worth.I know some will say”oh u should know your worth” etc..easy to say but it does hurt a bit when people degrade you..
    Like when a woman achieves so much in career and someone comments rudely..one cannot say “oh! I know my worth”..still people feel hurt! We are human after all.. this neighbor really annoyed me sorry guys..

    this is not about homemakers vs working woman wars..it is just a curiosity due to my neighbor..life is always like a power struggle sometimes..:) very very sorry if I said anything wrong.just jotting down my thoughts..randomly..had to get it out of my heart..
     
    Last edited: Nov 27, 2022
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  2. chanchitra

    chanchitra Platinum IL'ite

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    Financial independence is always good for women.
    Homemakers are in no way inferior to working women.
    I have seen homemakers making all Financial decisions in their family.
    IT woman surrendering all her salary to the husband.
     
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  3. joylokhi

    joylokhi Platinum IL'ite

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    I have been a working woman for 30 years and then resigned from my job voluntarily when i lost interest in the monotony of my job and felt i could be financially independant . Here, my independence financially was to be able to not depend on my family to fulfil my personal needs/wants of buying things for myself or family, travelling etc.
    Ladies having a family -meaning spouse/children etc who unquestioningly support them in their financial requirements
    are I would consider very lucky and in such a situation they need not work for the finances involved - may be, only for their personal satisfaction of doing what they like. So, financial independence is different for each one.
     
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  4. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    Thank you for the unbiased replies..
     
  5. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Without knowing the actual conversations you had with her, it can be hard to differentiate between gloating and exuberant joy. When one accomplishes a long coveted dream in money, career, immigration, buying a house, half-marathon or other personal and family milestones, sometimes that can be the only thing we talk about for a while. I am saying this because I've done that over-expression of joy a few times. I can't share most of those examples : ) but a benign one is that I've managed to declutter all parts of my house. I still tend to go on and on about the difference it has made in my life. If a friend texts me asking 'what are you up to this weekend' I will reply, "I am sitting and admiring my still uncluttered living room." This to a friend whose family refuses to let her give away even 20 year old unused items.

    It's rarely about what the money can buy. It is just something magical about getting paid for one's work. I recently needed some help with video editing. I usually do it myself but both my wrists are hurting like crazy. I would have hired someone from fiverr.com but a friend offered to do it. I insisted on paying her what I'd pay the fiverr video guy. Just for fun, I also wrote up a detailed "review" of her work quality and professionalism along with paying her. Her daughter sent me a message saying Aunty you'll never know what that money and review meant to Amma.

    Many interesting points in your post, Anika. This is an eternal discussion. No one view is right or right for ever or right for all. But I've always wondered about the list of tasks homemakers are credited with doing. Working women do most of those tasks too. Instead of three hot meals, they make two hot meals maybe. Their home is clean too (maybe by hiring cleaners). They take care of kid's classes, grocery, car, laundry, etc in the weekend, evening or outsource it. Generally speaking, working women do all that homemakers do and they also earn money. Life may be hectic, but working women also lead healthy, happy lives in a peaceful home.

     
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  6. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan Finest Post Winner

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    Eke out a living without assistance from anyone results in financial independence. But different people in various strata never reach that point to feel that they are comfortable with their financial status.
    But the question is why one should allow or admit the employed neighbour woman to ridicule and snub the unemployed neighbour women. How to deal and dodge of such neighbour woman?
    Such ridiculing neighbour woman should be counter questioned SUITABLY with remarks such as:
    "Why - do you have any vacancy for me in your company? Or do your hubby need services of any woman right now a home maker ?....
    Counter question is the best way to quell such ridicules.
     
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  7. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    This is the one thing I don’t understand.working woman do it all..

    well am a woman who works outside now and yes life is a bit hectic and I manage but..

    The point of not about working woman do everything that a homemaker does.

    the point is homemaker also works! Maybe I give this..working woman are the most hardworking..kudos.

    but..it’s not like homemakers are lazy and don’t do anything.they also work and not watch tv all day or is lazy as many people put it.maybe extra free time for self care,maybe they don’t hire cleaners,maybe they do all the work the hubby does as he is working outside and balance it and nothing wrong with that I feel and it’s not like they are subdued as many people said.they still work but credit are not given. More time for family to relax and maybe little less hectic and less stress.

    People hiring cleaners, eating frozen meals or any cut shorts ways are gloated coz they earn money but if a person decides to do by themselves it’s not work..
    Another thing is people talk one should work for financial independence.Is everyone working financially independent??

    Next people say sense of sense of achievement.Well sense of achievement is in everything..maybe even making a difficult food dish or anything else.It has got nothing to do with working outside.


    Everyone’s situation can be different too.

    One can’t blindingly put one in a pedestal and others lower..

    Is every homemaker lazy or is every woman who works outside really hardworking?? In every sense? And of course vice versa. Why see a very superficial picture and not be very honest to ourselves.

    anyways this thread won’t go anywhere and I request admins to lock this thread. Thanks
     
    Last edited: Nov 28, 2022
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  8. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    Exactly sir! Well said..
     
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