Travelogue!

I am standing in front of the idol, and I am awestruck, not with the idol but with the mind. I don't remember it being so small. Well, to my 'grown-up' eyes, it does look small today. But then I decide to put myself in the shoes of a little nine or 10-year-old, and I can see how this idol must have seemed so awe-inspiring. After years, I am here. I want to say "I wanted to be" here, but I was simply drawn; that is the only truth. I could not be more grateful. He has done miracles for me. Personal puja, yes, just for me alone in the temple has been done for me; I am teary-eyed, joyful, happy, awestruck, and thankful — all the amazing feelings combined. I did not think it was possible.

I am in India for a very short trip, and I decided I need to visit the place, Tirupathi. My SIL, who is very practical, thinks it is impossible to get darshan at such short notice. My nephew does some research and offers me some options. But he has no concrete advice! I want to take a chance and go. I tell my SIL that, and add anyway, my primary reason for going is my teacher, yes, the same one from Shri Gurubhyo Namah!, mortifying her even further. Bless her heart. It is in the right place. Tirupathi has a special place for her, and I understand. Everyone around me assures me that it is indeed impossible to get darshana without advance booking, considering it is shravana masa also. And then there is that question of where to stay! My DH assures me that he will arrange for transportation and is also trying various means for tickets - I just need to make up my mind. I call my best friend, and she simply says, "let's go re" dropping everything she is doing in an instant.

Well, without boring you too much, let me tell you that a place to stay gets arranged by my friend's niece just like that - I mean, like in less than a couple of hours literally! She knows someone who knows someone, and so on! The person who has arranged for our stay in a mutha is also wondering about our darshana! I am unaware of all the changes that have happened in Tirupathi, and I listen to everyone, their suggestions, their concerns, not knowing how to react. My goal is simple - to see my sir!

In no time, we have two more people joining us. My friend understands my purpose and is willing to take a chance, knowing that we have a very small chance for Darshana. We share our concerns with the other two, and they are happy to take a chance as well, and off we go! One of the two friends who has joined us is better traveled and tells us that we need to stop at this Anjaneya temple before heading to Tirupati, as tradition dictates. We stop at the Anjaneya temple in Mulabagalu (Karnataka). Beautiful temple, and as we talk with the poojari there, he also is shell-shocked that we are headed to Tirupathi without any advance booking. He guides us to the Venkateswara in that temple as it is the east dwaram to Tirupathi, with a "knowing that not everyone may get his darshana at Tirupathi, he has come here to give them a darshana". We enjoy our visit and get back in the car.

As we head towards Tirupathi, conversing about what the priest had said, the driver, who has been a silent witness thus far, becomes agitated once he understands we have no plans whatsoever for darshana - no reservation, nothing. I tell you, he is so shocked that he might as well have breaked in the middle of the road. Good fellow that he is, he urgently calls a couple of his friends, trying to make arrangements while we all tell ourselves that "we will at least get to see my teacher." Yours truly here at this point, with a glint in her eyes and excitement in her voice, tells the rest in the car that she has not contacted him. You see, I had decided to surprise him! The three of them at the same time ask me if I had realized that perhaps I could be surprised too, IF HE WERE NOT IN TOWN!! It had not occurred to me. You see, I am usually a "set your intention" and "the rest will work out" or "what you seek is seeking you" kind of person. Now, sheepishly, I call him. Thankfully, he is in town and is excited as he asks, "Are you coming all the way from America to see me"? Knowing him, I am sure he is all misty-eyed. He wants to know our plans, and I bravely tell him that we will visit him as soon as we finish our darshana, not able to give him a time. When I tell him we have no advanced booking, I am sure his heart sank as well. With a promise to keep him posted, I hang up. Everyone, including the driver, heaved a sigh of relief!

Now that everyone, literally everyone, has assured us that it is literally impossible for us to get darshana of Venkateshwara other than through 'sarva darshana', waiting time being 24 hours, we decide to enjoy our 'journey' rather than worry about what may happen at our destination, we take multiple stops enjoying tea breaks, dinner, shopping, and whatnot. As we start our drive to Tirumala, I am bawling ...tears won't stop flowing down my cheeks as I look at Tirupathi from the hills, a vast town now. I am thinking of my parents, my mom, who has spent all her life serving Venkateshwara, and my sister, who has passed away; my memories of all the love come flooding back to me. It has, after all, been over 40 years. I am here in the car with my best friend, whom I met right after our move from Tirupathi to Bangalore.

Finally, we have reached the mata where we are to stay the night. As we check in, we casually ask the guy if there is a way we can get tickets. And lo, just like that, he says, 'I don't know about other times, but if you stand in line at 4:30 am, limited 10,000-rupee tickets are being issued.' He also tells us that this is being done on an experimental basis for just 15 days, and we happen to be there! Other than screaming out loudly, we do our happy dance and are ready by 3.30 to stand in line!

Grateful, feeling lucky, thanking god, reading Vishnu Shasranamam (my friend is very devout ), we reach the venue only to see a line as long as Hanuman's tail and just like that tail, that kept growing. Estimating about 400 people ahead of us, we stand in line, and in less than half an hour, we have tokens for our tickets in hand. We are jubilant. We wait for the ticketing office to open, and learn that our darshan time is at 4.30 in the evening. We decided to go to Tirupati to see my sir first, as my friends teased me that even Lord Venkateshwara had heard my wishes and granted the boon of seeing my sir first. I call him and tell him that we should be able to reach his place at 11. He is happy, but he also tells me that the temple will close by 10.30. I am perplexed. That is the temple premises where I learnt Sanskrit from him. I am disappointed with that news, but console myself that with everything else working out, I should not fret over not being able to see my Anjaneya.

He is standing out waiting for me, and the town is nothing like I remember. To be honest, I didn't remember much, but still.... It is now awfully crowded with vehicles everywhere - that part, I don't remember at all. We go to his apartment, yes, another change, and his wife greets me with a warm welcome, and her first question is, "My husband really is that awesome a teacher, is he?" I smile and assure her. She seems pleased. Just as I'm about to sit down, he asks me to give him a minute as he changes, and then takes me to my Anjaneya temple for a special pooja and darshan, opening the doors just for me. I am standing in front of the idol, and I am awestruck, not with the idol but with the mind....wondering how that Anjeneya might have looked so towering to a small girl. As an adult, I see him even larger than my mind can imagine. After all, he fulfilled all my wishes!

PS: I don't know why I felt simply drawn to write this today...a good three months after my trip. But here I am sharing with you. My sir's wife later tells me that he had refused to eat food till I reached, despite it being 'dwadashi', a day after his ekadashi upavasa. He eats only after he takes me to the temple and does pooja. I see him fuss warmly, asking his wife to sit in a particular direction, as I bow down to touch their feet for asheervadam. I am also privy to the 'banter' in the kitchen. When he finally asks me if he has changed as a person, I realize that he looks the same, the same walk, the same look in his eyes, and that 'banter' with his wife comes to mind, and I assure him that nothing has changed except that now he chides his wife like the way he used to chide us. That seems to please him immensely, and there is the biggest glee I have ever seen. After all, I understand the love behind all those little irritations.

While at Tirumala, we met a gentleman who said it is not important that you have come to see god, it is more important that he sees you. How true is that! While some have scorned that 10,000 Rs has got me a darshan, I am eternally grateful not only for the darshan, but for being in a position to afford it, for things falling in place the way they did. Miracles of Venkateshwara are manifold, and I am grateful to him!

 

Dear @Thyagarajan sir,

Thank you for always taking time to give feedback. I know it is a long snippet, but I needed to put it down. You are right, I also believe that my desire to see my Sanskrit sir is the reason behind the miracle. After my parents, he is the only person who talks to me as fondly. I literally felt my parents' presence throughout the trip. Very grateful for that experience.