Traveller's Tales: Me vs Dupatta OR Me vs Toilet OR Dupatta vs Toilet...who will win?

Discussion in 'Travel' started by tashidelek2002, Apr 11, 2010.

  1. tashidelek2002

    tashidelek2002 IL Hall of Fame

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    After a couple trips to India wearing Western clothing (or should I say trying to wear), I for the most part gave it up. When I did, 80% of the attendant hassles immediately fell away...all that harassment on streets by beggars, naughty men, etc stopped (well 80% did). I was immediately in clothes for the Indian heat, clothes appropriate for visiting temples and other sites, and clothes that weren't ruined by various dobhi's and dry cleaners. I was shocked to find that expensive western bras were immolated by blast furnace irons, and I am still ticked that my favorite stretch cords were ruined by ironing at a dry cleaners in Delhi. The abysmal lack of knowledge of modern fabrics could only be addressed by not wearing them. Over the years I have had forays with various tailors and shops and those shopkeepers will tell you anything. As my academic training is in apparel construction, these prevarications were met with my silent disgust. It was with some displeasure that I was to find out that the dupatta was mandatory, that sign of feminine modesty. (Girls, you need a better definition of modesty than the dupatta imho!) I came to think of it as the Indian ladies' bath towel because wearing it in the Indian heat was tantamount to wrapping up in a bath towel for hours on end. And of course we may get rid of it in North Indian winter at precisely the ONLY time that its heat is welcome! Ok, so I go along with this tradition....either you are going to do the whole thing or forget it. And I am doing well BUT my big battles were in the ladies' room. Now I have gone by car, train, bus and plane over a good part of India. I have withstood Indian toilets in places that you would be amazed at. And during all this my problem was that dupatta. Really, whoever started following the inventor of the dupatta should have had their heads examined. I am sure you ladies know where the ends of a dupatta are headed in the ladies' room. Somewhere you don't want them to go.

    The worst case of my battle with the dupatta occurred in Nowhere, Karnataka. I say Nowhere as I don't actually know where it was. We had driven up the coast to Karwar and were headed (I think) to Hubli. Along the way we spotted a Christian church in the middle of nowhere and decided to see what was interesting about the place. It had a small elementary school attached to it and a main church which we entered to view something that a local was waving us in to see. There were some painted pictures of a river, a martyr (bloody martyr of course), and we heard some imperfect explanation of someone saving people. I am still confused about this story. When we left the church, we all asked to use the toilets as we still had driving to do as we progressed toward Hampi. I was shown to a small (and I mean small!) building that would be called in USA an outhouse. It was made of rusty tin and the insides had needed a wash for at least a decade. To make matters worse, it was sized for a kid....my head was close to the roof. There were no hooks on the door but even if there was, I would not have hung anything I wanted to ever use again on that door. If I stretched my arms they would hit the dirty walls on either side. I was wearing a cotton salwar kameez with one of those dupattas the size of a bed sheet (why have cotton when the whole cooling effect is eradicated by a bed sheet?) and my knowledge of the lemming like proclivities of the dupatta to the toilet made me decide to wrap it around my neck to keep it sanitary. In addition I had a shoulder purse which I hung on top of the dupatta in order to get toilet paper, wipes, soap or hand sanitizer out as needed. And let me add here that there was no window or light in this wonderful little building. In the dark I am trying to negotiate untying a sweaty pants string that has seized into a knot which I cannot see and did I mention the 20k rupees in hundreds that I had hanging around my waist in a waist wallet (traveling money for a group of us) which is trying to get "in the way"? I can't bend or turn my head as my neck is swaddled like a mummy. The whole time I am thinking How do these Indian women DO this? Well, I successfully made it out of there, mission accomplished. Later in Delhi at the theater I watched the dupattas being thrown blip blip blip over the stall doors and at least had the satisfaction of knowing I shared a functional problem with others.
     
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  2. Sindhurao

    Sindhurao Gold IL'ite

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    Re: Traveller's Tales: Me vs Dupatta OR Me vs Toilet OR Dupatta vs Toilet...who will

    Tina:

    You must have had a harrowing time particularly since you come from a country where even the public toilets are spic & span. And then even in India, those from cities who haven't ventured to rural, remote places will be shocked. But those of us who go visiting villages or towns have to make do with these kind of toilets regularly. Time are changing but I'm sure most of the time while travelling you will still find these arrangements in majority!!

    While I am not a history expert:)-)), I guess we have to attribute it to Indians of earlier centuries being accustomed to using open areas for toilets! It probably was true everywhere in the world! While the Harappan civilization seemed to have used highly developed technology for toilets, I wonder how all the know-how was lost, only to be taught to us again late 19th & early 20th century by the western world.:bonk

    If you have seen Indian movies particularly the hindi movie Hera Pheri (starring Akshay Kumar, Suneil Shetty & Paresh Rawal) - there is a scene which depicts a similar kind of toilet that you used in Hubli. The movies was a blast!

    Now over to dupatta........... managing it is an art that we learn over a period of several years, Tina. So you managing to handle it all in a few trips - is commendable! Well, if you are in company, you normally hand over your dupatta and purse to the one who has accompanied you else it is a struggle I agree:).

    Sindhu
     
    Last edited: Apr 11, 2010
  3. bhuvnidhi

    bhuvnidhi IL Hall of Fame

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    Re: Traveller's Tales: Me vs Dupatta OR Me vs Toilet OR Dupatta vs Toilet...who will

    Yes, This happens everywhere where wearing western clothes are not a norm.And when some ladies wear western clothes which are too exposing , the men tend to think that she is a easy target.I have read in newspapers about British women in Dubahi and other countries crying that when they wear clothes which are comfortable(exposing actually) they are looked at as ******.I will paste the link if I get.We cannot change the mentality of men.


    Hey , Just a lighter note!Many of us were exposed to western kind of inns only when we went abroad.OTW, we were used to Indian kind of "everything".And I still do not give such kinda dresses for laundry or dry cleaning.

    Yes, when you travel around rural areas the toilet is definitely a problem.You will not find much of neat and clean public toilets in India.But India is changing for good and probably our grandchildren might have a better India if we are able to contibute something to the country.:)

    I agree with Sindhu that handling duppatta is an art but it is not a rocket science.If you have a company you can handover the duppatta to someone or you can tie the duppatta around like you do while dancing or you can simply tie around your waist( or tie around the head like Nattammai crown:rotfl).It is upto you.
     
  4. eandian

    eandian IL Hall of Fame

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    Re: Traveller's Tales: Me vs Dupatta OR Me vs Toilet OR Dupatta vs Toilet...who will

    Funny write up. Enjoyed it except the slight sarcasm about another religion. Could have done without it.
     
  5. BeeAmma

    BeeAmma Silver IL'ite

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    Re: Traveller's Tales: Me vs Dupatta OR Me vs Toilet OR Dupatta vs Toilet...who will

    Tina,
    Funny read.

    IMO toilet habits in the developed world are in for a revolution given the wastage in water and paper used to clean and dispose of the waste. Also the elaborate setup needed for treatment.

    My last road trip in california a few months ago came as a surprise toilewise. Hotels and inns are fitted with smaller flushes and showers to conserve water. These "efficient" flushes do not wash the waste away even after multiple flushes--thus undoing the purpose of their existence. I will spare you of the nightmarish details.
     
    Last edited: Apr 12, 2010
  6. tashidelek2002

    tashidelek2002 IL Hall of Fame

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    Re: Traveller's Tales: Me vs Dupatta OR Me vs Toilet OR Dupatta vs Toilet...who will

    You must have had a harrowing time particularly since you come from a country where even the public toilets are spic & span.

    Sindhu:

    I think that this is a misconception about American bathrooms....that we have cornered the market on clean bathrooms. But I have been in bathrooms in USA just as dirty as a dirty Indian bathroom and even with leaking plumbing that had the floor as awash with questionable liquid (particularly common in small gas station bathrooms). The outhouses in USA are notorious and the worst I have experienced were on the Pennsylvania state rest stops....the ammonia from unpumped outhouses made you think that the hair on your head would frizz out like Bride of Frankenstein with the sheer intensity of the smell of it. I will say though that the water on the floor from folks spraying the room with impunity in India is of particular irritation for Westerners but otherwise I think that most are very able to handle what they encounter. When I lived in West Virginia, outhouses were common and I even visited homes with no toilet facilities and you had to relieve yourself in the woods (small forest).

    While I am not a history expert:)-)), I guess we have to attribute it to Indians of earlier centuries being accustomed to using open areas for toilets! It probably was true everywhere in the world! While the Harappan civilization seemed to have used highly developed technology for toilets, I wonder how all the know-how was lost, only to be taught to us again late 19th & early 20th century by the western world.:bonk
    The worst situation from bygone days I saw at Amber fort and still in use. The contents of the toilet left the fort via a small trough that dripped the contents down the outside of the building. What genius came up with that idea? and how regal!

    I don't know if you have seen the Harrapan exhibit in the National Museum in Delhi. Very interesting. They show the drainage, children's toys, how households looked, etc......they lived so similarly to today. Don't miss the National Museum if you are in Delhi.

    If you have seen Indian movies particularly the hindi movie Hera Pheri (starring Akshay Kumar, Suneil Shetty & Paresh Rawal) - there is a scene which depicts a similar kind of toilet that you used in Hubli. The movies was a blast!

    Somehow I think I have a copy of that somewhere...I will check it out.

    Now over to dupatta........... managing it is an art that we learn over a period of several years, Tina. So you managing to handle it all in a few trips - is commendable! Well, if you are in company, you normally hand over your dupatta and purse to the one who has accompanied you else it is a struggle I agree:).

    Thanks Sindhu. Well I think I am pretty used to it now but have to say that I would do with out it. Looks pretty but kind of impracticle. Also, did you ever see that old western movie about Isodora Duncan, the famous choreographer? Her demise was from a flowing scarf. All those ladies on scooters......
     
    Last edited: Apr 18, 2010
  7. bhuvnidhi

    bhuvnidhi IL Hall of Fame

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    Re: Traveller's Tales: Me vs Dupatta OR Me vs Toilet OR Dupatta vs Toilet...who will

    Dear T2002, Sorry,I could not locate the link.I will definitely post the link when I come across one more.

    But the below link is somewhat relevant to what I said.

    Ladies, Beware of private transportation drivers in Doha | Qatar Living

    Anyways, Take care while travelling as our safety is in our hands.
     
  8. tashidelek2002

    tashidelek2002 IL Hall of Fame

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    Re: Traveller's Tales: Me vs Dupatta OR Me vs Toilet OR Dupatta vs Toilet...who will

    epandian:
    I was not commenting on some "other religion" as I am a Christian thus I felt comfortable commenting on my own people. If you have visited the cathedrals of Europe or studied the history of Western art, there are thousands of depictions of bloody martyrs. At this point of my life, I find it a misdirected exercise when in my opinion, one should be focusing on redemption, compassion, etc in a more positive way.
     
  9. tashidelek2002

    tashidelek2002 IL Hall of Fame

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    Re: Traveller's Tales: Me vs Dupatta OR Me vs Toilet OR Dupatta vs Toilet...who will

    Beeamma:
    Its interesting your impressions about water wastage in USA as I had the same in India. I never saw so many leaking old faucets at a rate that would account for a tremendous waste of water. When I was in Delhi, there was a timing for tank filling for the day. If you missed that timing, the water was so bad you had to dump the whole tank and go waterless all day until the evening tank filling time. How much wastage is that? I think we can safely say that neither system is perfect. In the area of NYS where I live, we are overwatered. A local friend feels that there will be water wars in the future so she feels this is a very good area in which to live.

    I am fascinated by the Japanese fascination with high tech toilets. Have you seen Toyo models? My friend in Colorado has a base level model and it flushes like a cyclone. The highest end models I have seen on tv have an electronic panel so you can program the automatic bidet, a blower to dry your privates, and there is also a ladies model that makes white noise so no one can hear you peeing. Talk about the ultimate modesty! My last trip to India on Jet, they had the new bidet airplane toilets. I didn't have much success using it but I guess it is an attempt to keep traditionalists from getting the bathroom awash in midflight. Here in the states there are a variety of sprayers that can be used but the problem of course is the use of cold water. In upstate NY in winter there is NO WAY anyone is going to withstand 40F water "down there" and the whole issue of damp undies is unthinkable not to mention dangerous. When the temps are below zero it is even inadvisable to shower before going outside...folks wait until they are inside for some time to shower and let their pores close before going out. One model of those sprayers, the MiniShower, I purchased when I was taking care of my mom. She wore diapers all the time and it was very helpful since that model attaches to the sink and you can use warm water. It will be interesting to see what method we are all using in 20 years.
     
  10. Meanz

    Meanz New IL'ite

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    Re: Traveller's Tales: Me vs Dupatta OR Me vs Toilet OR Dupatta vs Toilet...who will

    I think you had a mindset of getting the best facility while visiting India. Or maybe you expected too much.I think when you travel out of a city in any country through a rural area, you would not get the best facilities like a 5 star toilet. But if you are intelligent enough, you would stop at any petrol pump or in your adopted language "a Gas Station" where you would get a clean and maintained toilet or we would call it wash room.
    Regarding people misbehaving with you for wearing "western clothes"..i realy would like to know exactly wat type of western clothes you had worn to get those stares or behavior from our Indian men !! You should come to Bangalore or even in other cities of India, most girls wear western clothes nowadays and men don't really bother that much unless u wear those too revealing type. And i think that is in every country. Indian men are not 1st rated perverts..So it depend how you carry yourself.
    Regarding Indian clothes, every country has its own culture but people are adapting themselves to other culture as per their convenience. But if you are visiting a certain place you yourself should think before dressing about what would be appropriate. I really love those foreigners who put an effort to dress in an Indian attire like the salwar kameez when visiting a temple , and it does matter if u wear a dupatta or not!! Foreigners are not alien for us anymore. But some people try to make other think they are..i hope you know who i am talking about.
    Lastly..with all those mindset about us Indians, I don't think you should come back till you surf the Internet and check what India really is these days and remove the terribly low mindset you have about my country. Otherwise people from every part of the world is most welcome to India and everyone knows that Indians are the most warm-hearted people in the world.
     

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