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Transparency In Married Life.

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by quincyagain, Jan 11, 2017.

  1. quincyagain

    quincyagain Junior IL'ite

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    hello friends, something is been nagging me for a while . I want a opinion from you all.
    i have find my friend app in my phone, asked hubby to install in his phone so i don;t have to call him everytime to know his whereabouts. He strongly opposed saying he don't like to be micro managed. I felt very bad, is this normal? this disturbs me so badly now when he strongly opposes the app. Is that such a weird thing to know the location of your spouse?
     
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  2. suasin

    suasin Gold IL'ite

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    'Is this normal?'

    Is there any reason you want to know your H's whereabouts 24/7? I would have reacted like your H if in that position..

    If he had been honest and willing to tell you whenever you call and ask, dont worry too much..
     
    Last edited: Jan 11, 2017
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  3. guesshoo

    guesshoo IL Hall of Fame

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    Yes. It is. It is like a criminal being tagged. Apps like find my friend really creep me out as they are merely spying.

    In a strong, trusting relationship, such apps have no business. A phone call or message is appropriate and respectful for the purpose you are looking for.
     
  4. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    Why do you need to know your spouse's exact location at all times? He is an adult, is he not? As long as you are able to reach him isn't that enough?
     
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  5. luvmygirlnbean

    luvmygirlnbean Silver IL'ite

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    If my husband asked me to do this, I would oppose as well and I would not ask him to do that. I know i can text/call him to reach him and he does the same.
     
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  6. dsmenon

    dsmenon Gold IL'ite

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    I wouldn't mind. but again it is spying on someone.

    I have a question though - Why do you want to install an app on his phone? Don't you trust him? IS there anything suspicious?
     
  7. rajatsingh

    rajatsingh Silver IL'ite

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    He should feel bad, not you. Would anyone be fine with being spied upon ? Why do you want to be this unfair to him ? Was he ever in any affair in the past ?
     
  8. dnormx01

    dnormx01 Gold IL'ite

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    I wouldn't use big words like spying but it's definitely irritating to have some random app on the phone, following me everywhere and posting where I am. Infact that is nagging.

    Yeah, you should know where he is but why should he install that app for that? Like others wrote, you can call or message him.

    Get over this app thing and you will find your true friend- your husband. :)

    Take care
     
  9. quincyagain

    quincyagain Junior IL'ite

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    ok little background before you all start trashing me. the app is installed in my phone to connect with my kid who got a new phone, as phone is stolen in school nowadays. so we installed this app in my phone, i thought it would be a good idea for all of us in our phones. There is nothing like spying or any affair in the past. when he said "no" it bothered me, thats all.

    is that a big thing to share your location with your spouse?
     
  10. dnormx01

    dnormx01 Gold IL'ite

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    If it's for you to monitor your child, I still don't get why your husband should join in?

    Yeah, minute to minute sharing is irritating. He is not hiding anything, just reluctant. So let him be. Does not sharing location and not downloading a random app lessen transparency in your marriage? Really? I don't think so.
     
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