Too Busy To Talk

Now adays all are busy in office, homes, schools, colleges etc. Either not able to spk also i think this changes will make a gap between the affectionates.

 

I am too busy to talk and mostly I don’t have anoything to talk , I don’t make any phone calls to extended family other than parents , in-laws and siblings but I pay a personal visit to them when I go to India . Now all my extended family and friends know that I am not a phone person or a person who is in regular touch .

If anyone says anything with regards to this , I tell them I am too busy with work kids and it sets the expectation.

Same with what’s app , I drop a note once in a while and I am not regular ...

It actually depends on person to person some like to
Keep in touch , some would like to be left alone that does mean they don’t care for you.

 

If someone is interested in talking with you,thy will make an effort. If they dont,ignore.

 

Actually, I too have noticed more of this nowadays. Most of my friends and cousins who I love dearly, and who talk normally when we are in each other's company- but with the long distance and phone calls, are completely missing. Ignored or missed phone calls and WhatsApp messages. I may be guilty of doing the same.

What I do realize, is that I do keep in extra contact with the people I truly care about and need in that capacity. It doesn't make me less attached to others, since we do have history together. But only the nearest dearest ones get frequent calls and updates about my life.

How to improve this? Know what's going on in your cousin's/friend's life and be understanding. Give them moral support at tough times. The cousin I am closest to and I have similar challenges - so we make time for each other to give solace or advice.

We are social creatures and we need people. Just because people aren't responding doesn't mean that you shouldn't reach out. Sometimes, the person who is feeling alone or having a hard time, doesn't know how to share that and ask for that support. Reaching out may help them out.

In general, people are more self centered and self oriented. It's the cultural norm, and it's tough to break out of that. I try not to hold it against people (though some people do have time and just don't bother).

 

There’s a term for these people, they just aren’t “phone people”.
When you meet them, or when they talk to you, you can feel the bond but the other times they barely respond. It doesn’t mean they hate you and this also has nothing to do with being busy or not busy in most cases. It’s just that they don’t like to talk on the phone frequently or get onto long calls often. They like the gap as they have more contents to talk when they do. Or they have some other family / work problems that’s eating their mental space.
Personally, I respond better to Whatsapp msgs than phone calls as it gives me the freedom to chat with them whenever I want. I love my friends n family but I don’t like getting on long phone calls with them, that too frequently. But it’s easier to be on Whatsapp chats. So am a “message person” not a “call person”.
I know friends who hates msging but only makes calls. These days I keep getting audio msgs from them on WhatsApp, so they talk, I message, haha. N some responds to nothing, they only like meeting in person.

My suggestion would be to not take any of these things personally. They really mean no harm, it’s just about different people being comfortable with different ways of communication.