Tomorrow , the woman whom I admire a lot, is coming home!

I have told you time and again that I have five sisters in law.Lakshmi is my husband’s second younger sister,sixth among the siblings.

When I entered my in law’s house as a new bride,Lakshmi was a nineteen year old girl,four years younger than me.But she looked very matured and acted as a matured individual.Infact, she was my MIL’s right arm and was actually running the home front.

Lakshmi was a traditionally good looking girl with sharp features.She was traditional in all other aspects,when guests came home,she would not come out unless she was required to come and be introduced.

She had passed the S S L C examination with good marks ,my FIL wanted her to continue her studies,but she said,”No”.

“Iam not going to be a working woman, when I get married.I want to be a full time home maker.So, of what use will be a college education for me?On the other hand I want to learn other things that will be of use to me”.
She learnt tailoring,she learnt carnatic music and she also learnt typing incase circumstances demanded that she take up a job.She learnt cooking from her mother,standing by her side in the kitchen,my MIL being an extraordinarily good cook.So I saw a young woman who was fully equipped to become a full time home maker.

Her days started with attending to the cow in the cowshed that was in our backyard.She gave the cow her feed.Once a week,if I remember right on Fridays,she gave the cow a bath and did arathi to the cow,after keeping turmeric and kumkumam on its tail.My MIL would make only coffee morning and evening.Lakshmi took over from there. She would have decided the menu for lunch after consulting her mother and would enter the kitchen She would make breakfast mostly idlis and dosas..Those times,my dear ,ie in 1970 in my MIL’s house only firewood was used in the clay stove for cooking.Lakshmi would light and keep the stove burning and would make delicious meals .If you ask me,”What is the great deal about cooking,so many working women also do that today?”

“My dear,our family consisted of no less than a dozen members ,we went there for holidays,and this girl had to cook for the entire family.Besides, not all members liked the same vegetables cooked on a particular day.Lakshmi kept in mind the likes and dislikes of all the members and drew the menu accordingly.If her younger brother would not eat egg plant,she would make beans poriyal(subji)for him.My FIL would eat subjis that were made without oil and coconut.Lakshmi would cook certain subjis according to his taste.

One thing that I admired in her was that,even though she stopped her studies with school final,she never envied her younger sisters, who were college students at that time.She would willingly wash their clothes,pack their lunch boxes and be ready to help them out in any other way.No wonder her younger siblings looked up to her.

By 10.30 A M she would have finished off all her chores,and would be in sitting in the hall before her tailoring machine.She sewed her own blouses and that of her sisters.
By 2 o’ clock in the afternoon,she would be grinding for idli in the manual grinder ,quite a large quantity of rice and urad dhal.

Lakshmi got married into a big joint family and was ready to don the mantle of the eldest daughter in law with tremendous ease.Lakshmi had three younger sisters in law and three brothers in law.She learnt from her mother in law,how meals had to be cooked in their house,their family ‘sampradayams’etc.She and her mother in law became very close to each other.

Later on she would tell her brothers and sisters,”I wanted my in laws to adopt to my ways of doing things,appreciating certain aspects of life.But they were not comfortable doing that.I wanted my happiness and my peace f mind.So I adopted their ways of life and life became peaceful for me”.Such was her common sense that is difficult to put into action and that I admire in her.

All her sisters in law are happily married,Lakshmi’s husband being a very caring ,loving brother.Her brothers in law are married.Lakshmi’s son and daughter are also married and settled well.
Lakshmi and her husband keep traveling.When she visists her daughter,she takes care of the kitchen ,she takes complete care of her grandchildren and try and give rest to her daughter.When she visits her son she does the sme,giving rest to her daughter in law.

When I talk about such women who approach life with great common sense and are ready to make small and big sacrifices,people ask me,”Mythili,what is great in this.What has this woman earned by sacrificing her likes her small happinesses for the sake of others?”,here ,others ,refer to her in laws.Well,in the case of my sister in law Lakshmi,she has earned her husband’s undying love and affection.He dotes on her,her in laws love her.That is what she has earned.Not a small achievement.
Here I would like to mention to the young ladies,it takes a couple of years for the new bride to understand her in laws and bind with them.It does take a couple of years for her to understand her husband,his personality and his mood swings. Vice versa,it takes a couple of years for the family to understand its daught in law and for the groom to understand his wife.Patience pays,it has paid Lakshmi and many like her.

Both Lakshmi and her husband are simple,unassuming people.They shun showing off their wealth,again an aspect of their personality that I admire a lot.Lakshmi’s husband ,a retired bank employee is busy as a bee,In the complex where they live ,he has kept a blackboard near the gate and writes ‘thought for the day’ daily.He collected a number of school final students who needed help in Maths,approached a lady,who also lives in the complex,and who was a gold medalist in Maths in her student days,requested her to help out the students in Maths without any fees.She has accepted this and I know that she must be enjoying the experience.He has tremendous sense of humour and keeps you in splits when you sit and chat with him.

Well,this made for each other couple are coming to our house tomorrow.Iam excited about their impending visit.Looking at Lakshmi’s serene face,shy smile,and listening to her gentle conversation will be soothening to my senses,like touching my heart with the feathers of a peacock.Iam looking forward to tomorrow!​