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Tomorrow , the woman whom I admire a lot, is coming home!

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by mithila kannan, Jul 19, 2010.

  1. mithila kannan

    mithila kannan Gold IL'ite

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    I have told you time and again that I have five sisters in law.Lakshmi is my husband’s second younger sister,sixth among the siblings.

    When I entered my in law’s house as a new bride,Lakshmi was a nineteen year old girl,four years younger than me.But she looked very matured and acted as a matured individual.Infact, she was my MIL’s right arm and was actually running the home front.

    Lakshmi was a traditionally good looking girl with sharp features.She was traditional in all other aspects,when guests came home,she would not come out unless she was required to come and be introduced.

    She had passed the S S L C examination with good marks ,my FIL wanted her to continue her studies,but she said,”No”.

    “Iam not going to be a working woman, when I get married.I want to be a full time home maker.So, of what use will be a college education for me?On the other hand I want to learn other things that will be of use to me”.
    She learnt tailoring,she learnt carnatic music and she also learnt typing incase circumstances demanded that she take up a job.She learnt cooking from her mother,standing by her side in the kitchen,my MIL being an extraordinarily good cook.So I saw a young woman who was fully equipped to become a full time home maker.

    Her days started with attending to the cow in the cowshed that was in our backyard.She gave the cow her feed.Once a week,if I remember right on Fridays,she gave the cow a bath and did arathi to the cow,after keeping turmeric and kumkumam on its tail.My MIL would make only coffee morning and evening.Lakshmi took over from there. She would have decided the menu for lunch after consulting her mother and would enter the kitchen She would make breakfast mostly idlis and dosas..Those times,my dear ,ie in 1970 in my MIL’s house only firewood was used in the clay stove for cooking.Lakshmi would light and keep the stove burning and would make delicious meals .If you ask me,”What is the great deal about cooking,so many working women also do that today?”

    “My dear,our family consisted of no less than a dozen members ,we went there for holidays,and this girl had to cook for the entire family.Besides, not all members liked the same vegetables cooked on a particular day.Lakshmi kept in mind the likes and dislikes of all the members and drew the menu accordingly.If her younger brother would not eat egg plant,she would make beans poriyal(subji)for him.My FIL would eat subjis that were made without oil and coconut.Lakshmi would cook certain subjis according to his taste.

    One thing that I admired in her was that,even though she stopped her studies with school final,she never envied her younger sisters, who were college students at that time.She would willingly wash their clothes,pack their lunch boxes and be ready to help them out in any other way.No wonder her younger siblings looked up to her.

    By 10.30 A M she would have finished off all her chores,and would be in sitting in the hall before her tailoring machine.She sewed her own blouses and that of her sisters.
    By 2 o’ clock in the afternoon,she would be grinding for idli in the manual grinder ,quite a large quantity of rice and urad dhal.

    Lakshmi got married into a big joint family and was ready to don the mantle of the eldest daughter in law with tremendous ease.Lakshmi had three younger sisters in law and three brothers in law.She learnt from her mother in law,how meals had to be cooked in their house,their family ‘sampradayams’etc.She and her mother in law became very close to each other.

    Later on she would tell her brothers and sisters,”I wanted my in laws to adopt to my ways of doing things,appreciating certain aspects of life.But they were not comfortable doing that.I wanted my happiness and my peace f mind.So I adopted their ways of life and life became peaceful for me”.Such was her common sense that is difficult to put into action and that I admire in her.

    All her sisters in law are happily married,Lakshmi’s husband being a very caring ,loving brother.Her brothers in law are married.Lakshmi’s son and daughter are also married and settled well.
    Lakshmi and her husband keep traveling.When she visists her daughter,she takes care of the kitchen ,she takes complete care of her grandchildren and try and give rest to her daughter.When she visits her son she does the sme,giving rest to her daughter in law.

    When I talk about such women who approach life with great common sense and are ready to make small and big sacrifices,people ask me,”Mythili,what is great in this.What has this woman earned by sacrificing her likes her small happinesses for the sake of others?”,here ,others ,refer to her in laws.Well,in the case of my sister in law Lakshmi,she has earned her husband’s undying love and affection.He dotes on her,her in laws love her.That is what she has earned.Not a small achievement.
    Here I would like to mention to the young ladies,it takes a couple of years for the new bride to understand her in laws and bind with them.It does take a couple of years for her to understand her husband,his personality and his mood swings. Vice versa,it takes a couple of years for the family to understand its daught in law and for the groom to understand his wife.Patience pays,it has paid Lakshmi and many like her.

    Both Lakshmi and her husband are simple,unassuming people.They shun showing off their wealth,again an aspect of their personality that I admire a lot.Lakshmi’s husband ,a retired bank employee is busy as a bee,In the complex where they live ,he has kept a blackboard near the gate and writes ‘thought for the day’ daily.He collected a number of school final students who needed help in Maths,approached a lady,who also lives in the complex,and who was a gold medalist in Maths in her student days,requested her to help out the students in Maths without any fees.She has accepted this and I know that she must be enjoying the experience.He has tremendous sense of humour and keeps you in splits when you sit and chat with him.

    Well,this made for each other couple are coming to our house tomorrow.Iam excited about their impending visit.Looking at Lakshmi’s serene face,shy smile,and listening to her gentle conversation will be soothening to my senses,like touching my heart with the feathers of a peacock.Iam looking forward to tomorrow!
     
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  2. OOPALL

    OOPALL Silver IL'ite

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    Hi Mithila,
    Oh what a blessing! You have such a remarkable woman in your life. GOD BLESS HER. From your post, it reminds me of my mom's days when she got married. Mom used to share very similar stories with us. They don't make women like that anymore!! No matter what they had to do, they did it willingly and kept the house running like pro! I didn't matter how many people were showing up for dinner, the meals were ready on time.
    Even today at the age of 75, my mom can have a houseful and things are done on time and with great pride. She always says to us...let me handle this!

    Hope you have a wonderful visit with the woman you admire!

    OOPALL!
     
  3. Spiderman1

    Spiderman1 Gold IL'ite

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    Haha! I am going to add the above stmt to my signature oopall :)

    Mithila aunty, Have a wonderful time with Lakshmi and her DH :thumbsup
     
  4. Coffeelover

    Coffeelover Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi Mithila, You are so fortunate to have a wonderful SIL. Not many people are like that. I wish I could meet her too. It is a good post for young married women and newly become MIL to read.

    well done. Have a great time with Lakshmi and her husband. How is your health?

    Good day.:bowdown
     
  5. shivachoubey

    shivachoubey IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Mithila,

    As always a lovely lovely post. Whenever you describe your house and your MIL I see it through my eyes. Each and every word of yours makes me feel as if a picture is running in front of my eyes.

    Your excitement and love towards your SIL is showing in each and every word in this post. I am so happy for you Mithila. You are really lucky. You gave so much love to your family and you got back so much love.

    There is always so much to learn from your posts.

    Enjoy their company Mithila.


    Lots of love.
     
  6. Kamla

    Kamla IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Mithila,

    Your sister-in-law is really worthy of admiration. Even at the tender age of nineteen, she was sure about what she wanted in life and prepared herself for it. She has been so giving and no wonder, she gets it back with interest now. There is a very profound lesson to learn from her and women like her. Besides, I too feel like repeating the words..'they don't make such women anymore'!

    Not only are you fortunate to have her, she too is equally lucky to have a s-i-l like you! How many would recognize the good qualities in another person, esp. a s-i-l and praise them and appreciate the special qualities? That too requires a large and loving heart and you possess that!

    Have a lovely time with your in-laws.

    L, Kamla
     
  7. monifa13

    monifa13 Bronze IL'ite

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    Dear Mithila Kannan - Hats off to Lakshmi and her husband. Hats off to you and LN Sir too! World needs more and more people like you all... :bowdown
     
  8. Amma15

    Amma15 Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Mithila mami,

    I can palpate the excitement you are feeling anticipating your SIL's visit. Such a remarkable woman. Wishing you a great time with her.

    Love,
    Usha
     
  9. jaishvats

    jaishvats Bronze IL'ite

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    Dear Mithila

    There are very few who can write so many praises about their SIL from their heart. Most women would admire their own siblings. So first hats off to you for being such a sweet manni.(SIL)


    And your SIL seems to be the ideal lady character depicted in stories, mega serials and movies that very rarely exists in reality.Hats off to her too.
     
    Last edited: Jul 20, 2010
  10. soumya234

    soumya234 Platinum IL'ite

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    Loved reading your wonderful narration mam.Have a great time with ur SIL
     

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