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Today's fight...

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by klniha, Apr 6, 2012.

  1. Priya16

    Priya16 IL Hall of Fame

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    WOW.


    My little girl wanted to eat candy and if so no to her then she would definitely find ways to eat it.Kids from age 1 can lie it then why can't a grown up man can't lie it?????

    I always talk to my parents without my husband.And we have hundred things to talk about it.If I talk to my parents means that I will only talk to them about my husband??????We can talk for a hour and I won't even bring my husband name in it.

    You know what your husband clearly afraid of you and that relation is not good.He is the guy who is earning.Can't he have freedom do decide how he wanted to his phone and cards?????

    You need to remember one thing,if the person wish to do something,they will do irrespective of others wish.And same thing goes with your kid too.So too much of controlling is not good for anyone.
     
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  2. vijayanna007

    vijayanna007 Bronze IL'ite

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    Once you pass the buck that other person is responsible for your life then suffering is inevitable. Take charge of everything yo do and feel responsible of even how you respond to things around you. You will see things around you will start changing and people will respond accordingly. Best wishes.
     
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  3. ssm014

    ssm014 Platinum IL'ite

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    i am not sure if i have read your other posts...but to me as an outsider, this sounds a very small issue to lose your peace of mind over..a man is capable of doing much more sinister / secret things (...am referring to other posts by other ILites about their issues with their DHs..) than speaking to own parents n fone...when men feel that they are likely to b nagged by their wives, thats when they will try to hide/ lie.

    You may not like my answer, but you need to know when to let go of these things...
     
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  4. indianinbayarea

    indianinbayarea New IL'ite

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    I am sorry I have to ask this - How old are you?
     
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  5. Anikha

    Anikha Silver IL'ite

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    Dear Klniha,

    I think you must have not understood , what your pandit had recited in Sanskrit , during your wedding ...

    You need an English translation , not only you , a lot of young woman need to go through the wedding vows in English , since a lot of younger generation seem do not understand Indian languages.

    If you've had any Indian regional wedding , you must have made seven vows during your wedding...

    Making 7 vows around the fire , which they call ' Saat phere ' is not just a custom , we all need to revise once in a while.....


    1. The couple prays to God for plenty of nourishing and pure food. They pray to God to let them walk
    together so that they will get food.

    2. The couple prays to God for a healthy and prosperous life. They ask for the physical, spiritual and mental
    health from God.

    3. The couple prays to God for wealth. They ask God for the strength for both of them so that they can
    share the happiness and pain together. Also, they pray so that they can walk together to get wealth.

    4. The couple prays to God for the increase in love and respect for each other and their respective families.

    5. The bride and groom together pray for the beautiful, heroic and noble children from God.

    6. The couple asks for the peaceful long life with each other.

    7. The couple prays to god for companionship, togetherness, loyalty and understanding between
    themselves. They ask God to make them friends and give the maturity to carry out the friendship for
    lifetime. The husband says to his new wife that now they have become friends after the Seven
    Vows/Saat Phere and they will not break their friendship in life.

    the 4th one, you need to update yourself..right now.....

    Sorry, if I'm offending you ......
     
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  6. klniha

    klniha Bronze IL'ite

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    Everyone,

    Stop bashing me guys. I never nagged him about it, infact if u read my post correctly, he doesn't even know tat I know he spoke to his parents, I checked the logs but never questioned him or stopped him from speaking to them. I was honestly sharing my opinion tat he was spending too much on recharge cards wer we cud call free from landline. Then from wer do u all get this opinion tat I'm stopping him from speaking to his parents and that I'm pulling him to an extent wer he cud break or I nag him lol and u all say ' let him talk' but hey wen did i stop him?? In the first place, I don't understand wats my mistake, all I did was give a suggestion and we have exchanged bigger financial opinions than tis without a prob so how wud I know this wud cause a prob??? And u justify his lying but y does he have to lie wen I don't have a prob with his talks. That's my question. Y shud he lie to me wen I'm not being an obstacle, y shud he murmur wen he doesn't want me to know wat he was murmuring? I don't know wats wrong but he has always been uncomfortable abt talking to his parents before me and I before him.
     
  7. subhejamal

    subhejamal Silver IL'ite

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    hi dear,wat everybody said its v true.if u will stop fussing abt each n evry thing he will automatically stop that.coooooool down n stop taking charge of the ways he acts.focus ur attention on ur LO n try to teach him the things which u wanna see in ur hubby but the way u r trying to solve ur so called issues ,sorry m sayng this but these issues r not the issues for which u spoil ur peace.i tell u one thing which is my personal secret,men dont like that their wives try to know evry thing at once.when my hubby talks to some one or inlaws n i know that its somethng imp or even a good news or bad news,i dont ask myself,i give him time n after that he tells me the whole story,business or his talk with his mom n dad.it requires a little patience.so stop worryng n be relaxed.let him talk n when he tries to talk to u or say somethng to u,dont give imediate reaction.he will notice it definitely n will stop murmurng n will start talkng to u wat he feels.best of luck
     
  8. subhejamal

    subhejamal Silver IL'ite

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    hi dear just to add,you wrote that you also feel uncomfortable talking to your parents before him,want too ask Why is that so?if you wanna him to talk comfortably with you around then why aren't you comfy when he is around?if its because his attitude then think that may be there is something in your attitude which makes him uncomfortably.LEAVE ALL THAT i tell you even we feel more comfy when talking to our parents alone,even i get out of the room so that he can talk freely and so he does.without any issues and most of the time he talks longer when I'm not there.but its okkkkk.give yourself and him space,i can clearly see your nature through your post.just relaxe.its normal

    Admin note: Do not use SMS/Chat style of texts.
     
  9. Ajith

    Ajith Silver IL'ite

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    Very funny. Summed up my response. I just pity OP's husband.
     
  10. Anikha

    Anikha Silver IL'ite

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    Dear Klinha,

    FYI,

    Why are you guys using recharge international calling cards ?? All our friends use VOIP phone ( either Vonage or Magic Jack) which is fixed amount you pay on monthly basis. Vonage phone gives you unlimited talk time to India. It can be a land line or Cell phone...or take it as land line , then add a mobile to it for extra ten bucks or so...

    Hope topic is not deviating....., we don't mean to bash you , but your H. is a nice guy, come on , who goes into bathroom to talk to own parents ???
     
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