to work or not to work

Discussion in 'Working Women' started by fragrance, Jan 28, 2008.

  1. fragrance

    fragrance New IL'ite

    Messages:
    67
    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    8
    Gender:
    Female
    Well Ilites, I have a dilemma. I m sure one u can help me. It is not a serious issue but yes I m confused as to what I should do.

    Previously I was finding lot of difficulties in this job due to traveling but I had to do since I have loans to pay.

    Alhamdullillah the loan will be repayed in full within the next 2 months. My dh has expressed his desire that I shud leave this job now and concentrate on my baby studies since she is starting kindergarten and look after the house. Of course he is only expressed his opinion and stated that I can do whatever I wish.

    Now that I will be completing 1 year in this job, I don’t want to leave it even though i still have problems in travelling. I don’t mind leaving for my baby but I m scared that I will be financially dependent on my dh which I don’t want plus I m more concerned that mentally there will be nothing for me to do. In the sense not that I m demeaning the house job it’s a big responsibility but I don’t know what I will do once I leave this job.

    Have any one experienced this.

    Since this is a big company and the benefits they are giving are good, I don’t want to leave this and then regret later. That’s y I want to view all options before deciding.

    There are no part time jobs or work from home jobs in this side. (if that was the case I wud not thought about it and surely settled for a part time job) and I am more scared that I will feel bored (my baby school is from 7 – 11) and mentally I will become stagnant.

    Sorry for the long post. I hope someone can help me
     
  2. Ushakrishnan64

    Ushakrishnan64 Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    926
    Likes Received:
    78
    Trophy Points:
    83
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear Fragrance,
    What you are going through today is very common among women especially mothers. You and your hubby should discuss this matter very openly and weigh the pros & cons. Since I am a professional accountant, my choice was very easy to be a career woman. However, this is not an easy choice. This has to be ably supported by your husband and the rest of the family.

    Once you have decided to continue the job, the next demand will be to get very organised. Since you are already working, you must be used to this lifestyle. Think about it with a very calm mind befre you decide.

    Good luck to you.

    Regards
    USHA
     
  3. jaanu_2721

    jaanu_2721 Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    359
    Likes Received:
    21
    Trophy Points:
    33
    Gender:
    Female
    now a days every women is working simultaneously performing her homely activities.. and even u were accustomed to that. wait..! have patience .. dnt leave ur job.. its like " an idle man's brain id devils workshop'.. :notthatway so dont be idle.. whn ur baby grows u wil be more stable and able to decide abt the situation, and ofcourse i hope u wil continue the job at that time also.. enjoy the life in hardworking..
    all the best ..........
     
  4. srivatsa

    srivatsa New IL'ite

    Messages:
    71
    Likes Received:
    4
    Trophy Points:
    8
    Gender:
    Female
    My opinion is u should continue to work. The difficulty lies only till the kid is 6years old. they will be partially independent at 6 .But another major risk is you need a very good care taker till that age. If it could be parents from either side of your it would be the best. I don't beleive in leaving kids to strange servant maids. I am also working ,but my kid is taken care by my parents.
    If you quit your job now and think that u can start u'r career after another 4 years, nothing is for sure. You may completely lose interest in working or you may not find a good job because of the long break you have taken.
    But once again it is a mutual decision to be taken by you and your hubby.

    Regards
    Sri
     
  5. fragrance

    fragrance New IL'ite

    Messages:
    67
    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    8
    Gender:
    Female
    thanks ilites for the replies, this is what has been bothering me. more the mental part than the financial part. financially we are well off and my dh can do without me working but mentally what. i will get bored.
    unfortunately i stay in dubai and here to get good caretakers is not easy which i m already finding difficulty hence the confusion in deciding.
    as i get tired now only after my baby starts kindergarten, my dh thinks i may not be able to give time to her studies. thats y i decided to post here and get some support and help.

    thanks once again
     
  6. suma21

    suma21 New IL'ite

    Messages:
    78
    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    6
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi Fragrance,

    I worked as software engineer for 5 year & took break for 2 years to take care of my daughter ,& now i am planning back to work again.I have the satisfaction i was there for her when she needed me the most.You can always go back to work with proper preparation but will never get child infancy again.Its previlage to take care of them & not sacrifice.Not every women will be lucky to become mother.Give your time to baby,she will be emotionally stabilised kid.check this link
    http://www.indusladies.com/forums/working-women/11694-confused-need-help.html

    Hope this helps.
    Cheers
    Suma
     
  7. kavya007

    kavya007 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    753
    Likes Received:
    122
    Trophy Points:
    108
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi Suma,

    I am also a software engineer. My son kept falling sick frequently in the daycare. Finally I felt very guilty and decided to take a break. But in the back of my mind I do miss my job and the comfort of a 2nd paycheck. It has only been 3 weeks since I quit my job but I have already started thinking on when to go back :) When do you plan to get back into the job market ? Are you going to shift from development? I have been a developer for 7 years and I am bored of development. I would prefer a job where I get to interact more with people. But I don't want a job with travel. I am thinking if it is a good idea to start pursuing a part time or evening MBA.

    Kavya.

     
  8. fragrance

    fragrance New IL'ite

    Messages:
    67
    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    8
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi all,

    For me lets say it was either fortunate or unfortunate only God knows but i was never a career minded person. i have been working continuous for 8-9 years now but its mostly as admin/reception/co-ordinator job. even now i m working as a administrator but i needed options as to what shud i do once i m home. my dh says that once i will be in the house there r many household things to do. agreed. but that wud give me something to do physically and not mentally.

    thanks suma for your help too.
     
  9. suma21

    suma21 New IL'ite

    Messages:
    78
    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    6
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi Kavya,

    Dont worry much kavya,enjoy your time with lil one.Purse your long time goals side by side.You can work as Business analyst which is blund of tech as well as management.You can interact with lot of clients too.Try to approch some desi companies who will be ready to give part time jobs for less pay .Once you feel kid is ready for Daycare,you can go back to work force.I am planning to get into Testing probably this summer.It works well for my family.Its less stressful ,i love to troubleshoot & i can contribute more Quality time for family.

    Cheers
    Suma
     
  10. fragrance

    fragrance New IL'ite

    Messages:
    67
    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    8
    Gender:
    Female
    i had decided to quit this job and what do i get - my pay salary with an increase. now i m all the more confused.
    even though my boss kept on hinting that i m doing the job property ( only hints not telling directly) i wonder y i got the hike ( my boss did not know i was leaving and the hike is to everybody in the company depending on the performance)

    confused pls help
     

Share This Page