To Take Them Now Or After 2 Months????

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by SGBV, Jul 29, 2020.

  1. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear friends,
    I need some quick response from you all to make an important decision.

    Not sure where to post this thread, but looks like the traffic is very high here; hence posting

    As you all know that I am currently attached to a UN agency in Bangladesh, but telecommuting from home/Sri Lanka due to covid19 pandemic and lockdown situation.
    It's been 3 months since I am working from home, and obviously producing much lesser than what is expected in my ToR.
    It is because the type of work that I am in-charge for can not be worked out remotely. Yet, the office approved WFH due to the circumstantial needs all these while.

    Now that they are calling me. Not to work from office there, but to have my physical presence in the duty station where I work, so that I could be easily accessible and approachable at times of needs. I understand this perfectly, and this condition is not uncommon for those work in my field.

    Having said that, my travel is now arranged, and it is on the 12th of Aug.

    Covid19 is not an issue in SL. We have only 400 active cases, and had around <3000 cases earlier, and most of them are recovered. Only 11 died and all of them had other health conditions such as cancer and kidney failure to die.
    The schools, universities, work places, market and public transportation are all open here. People behave as if nothing happened, and the country will be open for tourist from 15th Aug. Though we all exercise precaution, we haven't had anything close to what is covid19 in other countries.

    Whereas the situation in Bangladesh is not so cool. It is not as bad as India or Brazil, yet it is not safe either.
    There is no direct flight from Sri Lanka to Bangladesh, so we will have to transit through Dubai.
    It is costly and very very long journey!!!

    I don't mind about my trip as long as it is just myself. I can exercise precaution, and manage.
    I will be put on a 5 star hotel for 14 days quarantine by the office, and then they will offer me a furnished apartment for the stay. All safe, and no need to commute to work frequently. Even if I am to commute, the office will arrange a UN car.
    There is a UN health clinic, where I will be treated for free. In case if I am down with any symptoms (either covid or any other serious illness) the office will medievac (medical evacuation) me to Singapure or Malaysia or in bad case scenario to the Europe for treatment.
    All these facilities, plus insurance applies for my legal dependents, which means my H, and kids.

    The issue is, I need to drag my mom along and which is unavoidable. I had a heart to heart discussion with her highlighting her age and the long travel and the covid issue right now. I offered her to stay at our home with a nurse or to go to my bro's home (as his kid is sick, so she could be of help) or chose to stay at both the places at her conveniences for 2 months till the situation improves. So that I could come back to pick her up and we could continue our stay in Bangladesh for sometimes.

    She feels bad, and upset and for her age, she obviously feels so lonely without us. She hinted like she wants to join us right away. So, the ball is now in my court, and I am worried because she doesn't have any of the above mentioned health assistance or insurance in Bangladesh and the UN doesn't cover for her.
    Even for the 14 days of quarantine in the star hotel, we will have to pay for her, including the flight ticket (now it is very costly) etc... But that's not my concern. All I fear is the covid19 and possible issues during this 2 months peek time there. Although, she will be home, and with zero contacts with the outside world once we reach there.

    Kids say they too are equally vulnerable and what it is different to take them and not granny.... I get their point too.

    We too can't be happy without her!!!

    On the other hand, I am thinking of going alone, so that everyone can join me in Oct when things are better.
    This way, I'll have to handle 2 months alone - but I could do that, as I am used to travel alone.
    The issue is handle home and kids from a distance. Mom can't be active as before. H & Mom don't get along well with each other. Kids needs 24/7 attention etc... no maid, no help... so, things can get uglier without my presence as I am always the mediator.

    What to do?

  2. hridhaya

    hridhaya Gold IL'ite

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    I think it is better for you to go alone and set up the place prior to your family's arrival. You won't have to be on your toes from day one.

    That said, your mom and husband should find a way to work together (at least in your absence). It is very stressful to run a family if you need to intervene for every problem. How will you work peacefully with tension brewing at home all the time? You are better off telling your mom to join you later (after six months or so). With covid restrictions in place, she is bound to get bored locked up in a new place.

    Take care, SGBV.
  3. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    Your mother should not travel to an area which has more Covid cases. Just by virtue of her age she is in high-risk category. If she has any underlying health conditions she is even more vulnerable. She will be exposing herself much more than normal during travel and stay in a new place. If you don’t have easy access to medical facilities for her then the decision is very easy.
    Children are fortunately not as badly affected by this virus as adults so that is not a valid comparison. Plenty of us are also suffering from not seeing grandparents, parents and loved ones but their health is more important.These are not normal times and I’m firmly in the better safe than sorry camp.
  4. winterhue

    winterhue Gold IL'ite

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    Like others have suggested, not a wise idea to take your mom. I would say, take the kids and once you have settled, take mom along.

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