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Discussion in 'Stories (Fiction)' started by blackbeauty84, Sep 26, 2019.

  1. blackbeauty84

    blackbeauty84 IL Hall of Fame

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    ‘I like the house very much..’ I said to the house owner who was proudly taking me through the house. It was freshly painted, spacious and well ventilated too. As a bachelor in a new city without knowing the local language, my house hunting woes were endless and this house seemed to be the perfect answer for it.



    Discussion with house owner for Rent, advance and electricity appeared very satisfactory. In fact owner was quoting a lesser rent compared to many others. Might be he wants someone to move in fast? I know he is a retired private employee may be money was a shortage. I noticed his daughter was coming out of her room and going into the kitchen. Thankfully he didn’t have problem with letting a house to bachelor while having a pretty young daughter. We agreed to sign the agreement by the evening and move in by that weekend.



    That evening I stopped at the tea shop while going for signing the rental agreement. With the conversation with tea shop owner with my broken language I understood he was mentioning something about suicide but couldn’t understand it completely due to language barrier.



    It disturbed me and I decided to clear it out with the owner. He sweated a lot on my question but said there was a suicide three years back and the house is empty ever since. He dejectedly mentioned that even after doing poojas, giving a fresh paint and remodeling the house he is unable to sell or rent it. He even agreed to reduce the rental amount further.



    I readily accepted as I had no inhibitions around it and it was becoming a night mare to find a house in that area. I moved in that weekend and settled soon. My house was upstairs and there was a open terrace from my floor. That evening I saw the owners daughter coming up for drying clothes. She noticed me and went down immediately.



    I could see a boy standing at balcony in the house at opposite side. Maybe he is looking at her? In few other instances I noticed he was standing in balcony whenever she came up to terrace. Something was definitely cooking up.

    I soon got well settled in the house. Since I worked late hours I rarely spoke to anyone in neighborhood apart from the owner. Owner never muddled with what I was doing and I found my stay peaceful. Owner’s daughter still comes to the terrace for something or other and I could definitely see a love story shaping up.. The boy in the opposite house waves/smiles at me, but I’m yet to meet him in person.



    That was a long weekend due to local holiday and since I couldn’t get tickets to my home-town I stayed back. House owner knocked the door and invited me for lunch that day.



    I went around lunch time and he led me to the dining area. His wife had prepared a sumptuous meal. While having the meal, my eyes fell across the hall where his daughter’s photo was hanging garlanded. He noticed me watching the photo…my daughter..almost three years since he hanged herself along with the bastard from opposite house..
     
    Last edited: Sep 26, 2019
    SunPa, Bhoonzee, muggs and 10 others like this.
  2. Adharv

    Adharv Gold IL'ite

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    :screamcat::screamcat: Ammadiyo!! :lol::lol: I thought these two might have played some prank to get some privacy at roof top :facepalm: :eek: Interesting play ma'am :clap2::clap2: as always unexpected climax :frown:

    Thank you!!
     
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  3. messedup

    messedup Platinum IL'ite

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    I was expecting something like that. :blush::thumbup:
     
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  4. peddadas

    peddadas Platinum IL'ite

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    Ayillah! Stopped my breath for a second! Chills..cool one BB! How do you think of all these... :worship2::yikes: .. I love your short stories...
     
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  5. baljit

    baljit Senior IL'ite

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    Wow ...another story with suspense ending. Love to read all ur story
     
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  6. Mistt

    Mistt IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi @blackbeauty84
    As usual your story was so interesting and gave me goosebumps while reading some of the scenes as above quoted one.:yikes:
     
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  7. Lalithambigai

    Lalithambigai IL Hall of Fame

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    First time I read a complete story in IL and that too this one :facepalm: Reading the last sentence made me feel like the floor below my feet had disappeared suddenly :fearscream: Still in two minds if I should read any of your other stories :thinking: but just this one is enough to convince me you are a successful fiction writer :thumbup: No wonder you are so popular :worship2:
     
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  8. ammusatheesh

    ammusatheesh Gold IL'ite

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    Thought only the girl but both of them hanged...unexpected one...good as always from you BB ..
     
  9. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 IL Hall of Fame

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    Thought it was the girl only.. But double suicide. :sconf:

    I was imagining the next reaction of that guy.

    Very well written BB.:clap2:
     
    Last edited: Sep 27, 2019
  10. anupama1

    anupama1 Platinum IL'ite

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    In one of the occasions where I was talking with a literary reviewer, he had told me regarding short stories
    'You should show the gun in the first half and to make interesting..... it should be fired in second half'
    :clap2:
     
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