The human body, my family doctor told me as I was driving him back to his house after his routine visit to examine my nonagenarian mother, had been built to last a hundred years. If you don't abuse it, the chances are that you'll outlive your contemporaries. Give it reasonably good nourishment, rid yourself of all tensions, an hour of good physical activity like walking, and total abstention from all toxic substances like alcohol and tobacco will certainly enable you to reach the magical three figure. He went on and on about the merits and demerits of various things we normally did in our day-to-day life. Like everyone else I too want to live for a hundred years. For what, you may ask me. ‘What is it that you are going to achieve in the remaining 36 years that you have not been able to accomplish during the prime of your life’, will be your next question. I will dismiss your questions as merely esoteric and not germane to the subject that I have taken up for discussion. So, coming back to my doctor's advice, I could at once see that I was definitely abusing my body. I had always considered my digestive system as some kind of a super machine that transformed all the trash that I was stuffing it with into something highly nutritious. The trash included a lot of toxic substances mostly imported from Scotland under the Government's liberalised import policy by my good friend Ahmed, generous helpings of fried wonders, mountains of ice-creams with or without nuts but always covered by hot chocolate, pickles and jams. And I had been shunning all forms of physical activity as I always considered it essential to keep my feet up in order to enjoy my Scotch better. But after listening to my family medico, the scales fell from my eyes and I decided to change my lifestyle completely. I told my good friend Ahmed to stay away from me and not to tempt me with the latest arrivals. When the trays bearing fried marvels and mouth-watering desserts were brought to me, I struck the famous pose of Viswamithra banishing Menaka. I set the alarm to go off at 4.30 a.m. and went for brisk morning walks. I could see that I was getting physically fitter by the day but less and less popular with my friends. I had nothing to contribute in the fellowship meetings due to lack of spirit and I found myself becoming the subject matter of all jokes in the club. The sound of fried marvels being crushed by hungry mouths, working furiously at them, was becoming increasingly unbearable like a sheet of iron being scratched by a sharp nail. My eyes filled with tears as yummy desserts passed right under my nose. It all looked very deliberate as formerly all noise levels of munching were kept to the barest minimum and the desserts found their way to the consumer by the most direct route and not via my nose and hungry eyes! To top it all, Ahmed, who always regarded me as the most venerated figure north of the Equator, started shunning me as if I was something the cat had brought in. I suddenly realised that I wanted to live upto a hundred only to continue my joyful existence and not to shun it and become an ascetic. The scales fell from my eyes for a second time. Soon the lightest early morning drizzle gladdened my heart as it meant giving up my morning walk for the day. Oh, it's nice to get up in the mornin', But it's nicer to lie in bed. To hell with physical fitness!