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Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Caughtinbetween, Apr 27, 2018.

  1. troubledmom

    troubledmom Gold IL'ite

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    Congratulations!

    Daycare at 8 weeks is kinda extreme esp if you have an alternative. Baby is too small, her immunity is very low, mainly from your milk, she will fall sick easily. you will regret a lot if baby falls sick.

    Don’t make baby a football between you and your ils.
     
  2. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    CIB....have a try out with in laws first instead of daycare ( only because she is small and as Rihana mentioned,flu season is close...that tips the the option in favor of home care).

    Get your husband involved and tell him you both should try letting in laws take care of her completely over the weekend while you both are in your room or just gone for some errands during the day.

    Give it a try and keep husband involved.

    If this doesn't work.....can you get a nanny for some hrs for those three days to come and take care of baby while your in laws help or supervise.
     
    Last edited: Aug 31, 2018
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  3. Sweety2016

    Sweety2016 Gold IL'ite

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    HI CIB, Am so happy for you..My hearty congratulations to you:)

    I could not even visualise how difficult it must be for you to deal with your stupid Ilaws and H ( sorry to say this but i just cannot control my anger) apart from the exhaustion of being a new mom. I was also in a similar situation and I hardly spent 4 days with my MIL. I packed my bags and flew to my native with a 3 months old baby ready to even divorce my husband when situation demands...You should be having great patience to deal with all this...But be assured that this does not affect your physical and mental health at any cost.

    8 weeks is too young for a daycare and if the baby catches infection it would be a horrendous experience! My baby is 2+ still I get shivers when she falls ill so please reconsider your decision. Its also not a good idea to leave the baby with Inlaws who dont care about her. Why cant you extend your maternity leave to at least 6 months? That innocent soul needs you CIB to love her, kiss her and nurture her unconditionally. Nobody other than you can do that..I remember you feeling bad for not being able to spend time with your mom during her last days. Believe that this angel has come to you to remove all your pain and make your life beautiful and wonderful. That is what I believe when I see my daughter. I get enormous strength from within to fight any battles just to ensure that she is safe, happy and healthy.
     
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  4. Laks09

    Laks09 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Congratulations CIB! Enjoy each second. This is your first parenting dilemma, dear. There will be many more such discussions with DH in the future. I wish someone had written a post on how to become partners and show a unified front to child(ren) or others when parenting decisions are being made. It should look like the mother and the father are on the exact same page when it comes to the child. My DH told me this, the day after we brought our DD home.

    Regarding child care, care.com nannies are a better bet in my opinion for very young infants. Think about it.
     
  5. ashima10

    ashima10 Platinum IL'ite

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    1000 likes !!!!!!


    i will be back with details ! ( in liek 5 years! )
    kidding ... soon but i will mostly echo @Rihana !

    @Caughtinbetween stop getting caught in between now ; In laws are here for few time day care has no visa limit :) utilize the time accordingly ! who know baby can make you altogether laugh :)
    TRY .... !
     
    Last edited: Sep 1, 2018
  6. DDream

    DDream Finest Post Winner

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    CIB, Congrats!
    Dont worry about the disappointment of PILS over gender issue. I am sure your little princess will add color to their life and win their hearts for sure. Dont worry about it too much.

    In my case I have started daycare for my kids when they were around 8-9 months old.My PILs helped me. I went back to job within three months. My PILS took care of baby till evening. Then I took over. Still it was too much for my body with full time job, household job plus baby. When I started daycare, I used to go to daycare for lunch break to BF or watch. Once I felt comfortable, I opted for full day options.

    If you feel your PILs can take care of your baby, do that first try that. I think that is the smartest and best option. Use their services and take rest. Also involve your dh. If it is not working then you can think about daycare or nanny. It is better not to expose your baby much to prevent infections. Its not easy to handle a sick baby. Atleast try this option till your baby reach 6 months, by then she will be able to start baby foods and you can think about formal daycare. Even if you chose daycare, involve your husband in everything including changing diapers, giving bath etc..

    You may be feeling energetic now, but please dont neglect yourself, take rest and take care of yourself very well. If not, you will suffer from the side effects later in your life. Also if you want to BF your baby, use a Bpump in office in certain intervals. If there is no demand supply may stop.
     
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  7. Caughtinbetween

    Caughtinbetween Gold IL'ite

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    Thank you very much for your wishes dear @Viswamitra uncle (you being my fathers age if I may call you so). I have been a silent admirer of your posts since a long time , specially how you handled parenting part of your life along with your wife , how you planned and executed future plans for your son and how well you support your wife and MIL. Infact I silently keep your advices in the parenting section in the back of my mind while planning things for the baby. You are a big inspiration.
    And my heartiest congratulations to you and your family for your son's phd.
    Thank you
     
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  8. Caughtinbetween

    Caughtinbetween Gold IL'ite

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    :grin:
    Thanks @ashima10 ...will be waiting for your detailed reply :) Will try definitely not to get caught in between :grin:
    yes all your suggestions in the response are pointing at the same direction so i realize my day care option is not the best in the current scenario.

    thank you
     
  9. Caughtinbetween

    Caughtinbetween Gold IL'ite

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    Thank you for your response @Laks09 .... you are absolutely right on showing a unified front ....infact i am waiting for an appropriate time to talk to H about it most probably while discussing the nanny option .
    Honestly until you all showed me the other side of putting the child in day care , i didnt really think about it ... i was thinking that people in my situation prefer day care over nanny due to the risk of leaving your child with just one person ...but now i understand nanny at home is better than risking infections and daily commute.
    I created an account with care.com and am looking for nannies ...finding the correct one so soon is another dilemma ...if i may ask , when you meet those nannies , what are the things you ask them before deciding on one.

    thank you
     
    Laks09 likes this.
  10. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    @Caughtinbetween

    I am so pleased you consider me as an uncle. More than that, the wishes from a young mother like you for my son brought tears into my eyes, considering the amount of pressure you are personally encountering besides taking care of a few months old baby.

    Well, what can I say in response, when I hear from you that you have been reading my posts silently? I am truly humbled and honored by your kind words.

    I am very fond of girl children and my personal apologies for my outburst here in your thread when it is time to celebrate. Congratulations again. I wish very best for you, your husband and the princess and pray to the Lord for showering His choicest grace to all three of you.

    Viswa
     
    Last edited: Sep 1, 2018

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