To forgive is a passion with me!

Chitvish · Jul 21, 2008

Thanks Lakshmi for your wishes.
My most favourite thirukkural is " inna seitharai-----seithuvidal".
I started practising it very reluctantly, only on the advice of my friend. But it does help, Lakshmi & we become a better person for others, to live with or interact!
Love,
Chithra.

PushpavalliSrinivasan · Jul 21, 2008

Dear Chithra,
I am really proud to say that my hubby is also like your friend. He never keeps hurt feelings in his mind though he was abused by people younger to him and for whom he had helped a lot. It happened so many times as he was a social worker. He would say if we want to pay them back their own coin, there would be no difference between them and us.
Though at times I used to get angry for his tolerance, later I myself realised the benefit.
Thanks for bringing out this topic.
Love,
PS

lakshmis66 · Jul 21, 2008

Chitraji,

Lovely post. What if a person is really mean. If we forgive and let go of the hurt, we will go to that person again and will get hurt again. This not only encourages the person inflicting the pain, it sends wrong message toa nyone seeing this. Forgiving in my opinion should be restricted to those who deserve it. Revenge need not be seeken for unforgivable acts but at least avoidance must be practiced. Sorry I am not that divine to forgive and forget all hurting acts.

Chitvish · Jul 21, 2008

Dear PS, it is my privilege that you have stepped in here!
Yes, if we behave in the same mean way, there is no difference betwen that person and us. Theoritically, it is easily said, but the actual act is difficult.Forgiving whole heartedly requires a "large heart"! But, that is how, we evolve as a better and finer human being.
Love,
Chithra.

Chitvish · Jul 21, 2008

I can understand what you write, Lakshmi.
I guess you have been repeatedly hurt. But some people are definitely sadistic & there is no way, some can reform themselves and stop hurting others.
I would even say there is no revenge, so sweet as forgiveness!
Love,
Chithra.

Bhooma · Jul 21, 2008

Chitra

Forgiving is achievable. But you failed to mention the other half ... "Forget".. Forgetting in my opinion is more difficult. I know nothing can be achieved . I have forgiven and forgiven but I cannot forget. Maybe like Lakshmi 66 says I too am not that divine !! If I hadnt forgiven, I wouldnt be (atleast) where I am today !!! but "forget" I cannot .. Maybe it will be one of those things that I will carry with me till the end

cheers

Bhooma

sudhavnarasimhan · Jul 21, 2008

Dear Chithra,
I was wondering at the title and thought " oh you have changed so much"! But then you went on to explain that it is your friend who thinks so, and is trying to reform you! Great to have such friends first of all! I was like that , carrying the hurt and not forgetting and thus not able to forgive. But the past year has been on spiritual quest with you all and the reading of Tolle's books, have released me of my Pain bodies and have suddenly forgotten the Hurt and forgiven too ....i feel so free and have also learnt to live for the MOMENT without judging and attaching emotions. The Gita lessons have also helped a lot! somehow i don't seem to be in such situations of late where i let myself be hurt! Or maybe like in our healing techniques, i just don't Take in the Hurt! But it feels good and i can understand what your friend says and your Title!

Chitvish · Jul 21, 2008

Dear Bhooma, welcome to my blog!
It is said that men forget but cannot forgive whereas women forgive but cannot forget. I think that is very correct. But by that, we continue the hurt in our heart! I think, both to forgive & forget is the attribute of the very strong, perhaps!
Love,
Chithra.

Chitvish · Jul 21, 2008

Sudha, I admire you for this post!
Yes, we read books and promptly forget the valuable lessons learnt! But you seem to be really making use of the knowledge you gain from the books, Sudha.Yes, releasing the hurt is very important and by forgiving we gain untold peace and happiness. It is as though we have achieved somethig.
Way to go, Sudha. I am proud to be your friend.
Love,
Chithra.

aishu22 · Jul 21, 2008

Chithu, great blog, asusual! Forget and forgive...hmm..Forgive may be, but forget -no an easy deal.We all know the famous
" theeyinal sutta...vadu" kural.Words spoke cannot be taken back.It keeps ringing in your inner self everytime we meet that kinda person, who has hurted.Its a real tough job for me to forget, forgive, i do but not that easy as well.Trying to cultivate this habit.Forgiving without forgetting what other did is not worth.
But,in recent times, i have observed and practising one thing, that is, just dunt react/talk back to the person, who has hurted you.Let not the hurt get inside you and you remain as you are! In this method, there is no need to forget &forgive.You are still "you".Let me try it for some more time.It definitely helps with less coomon people, but with close friends and relatives.

Beautiful blog