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To Find Solace!

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by girvani, Sep 5, 2024.

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Sep 6, 2024 #11

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A soothing feather touch missive in times of distress thanks to viswa sir.

Thyagarajan, Sep 6, 2024

Thyagarajan, Sep 6, 2024

#11

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Sep 6, 2024 #12

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girvani said: ↑

Sitting alone, watching my amma’s last journey from 5000 miles away, broke my heart into pieces, tears were dried up, the whole body was shaking, and I had a moment of realisation that we came to this world alone and then we will bid farewell and go alone, whatever happens in between is the part of the staged drama.

Part of me went with my dad and I was hurting even today that we could not bid a proper farewell to our dad due to COVID restrictions. During those moments, I still had the comfort that my mom is still with us, and we were so grateful.

As we come out of COVID, life led me to a path with twists and turns. My mother was diagnosed with MND, and she was rapidly deteriorating. Her organs were failing slowly, however her brain remained ever so sharply. I spoke to her every day, at the same time, conversations might be repetitive, but she will not forget to remind me on who’s birthday is today and who in the extended family has achieved what? We were able to find a carer for her so that my brother can look after his family. My conversations with amma were always jovial alongside with some tears. But I was able to feel and understand the pain she is going through. Once Matriarch of the family now is depending on another to do everything.

April this year, her health took a bad turn and one fine day she was struggling to breath, we admitted her to hospital and when we saw the fear in her eyes, that moment my sister and I have decided to go to Sri Lanka to see her. After two days of travel, we reached our home and there she was waiting for us. After 12 years, she was seeing all her three children at one place and that made her feel better. However, with that episode she had become bed ridden. Since then, we knew the end was inevitable. However, last Saturday I got a call from my mom, my mom said, ‘something is different today and I am not well’. I calmed her and asked her to chant god’s name and while I was speaking, she fell asleep. Then events accelerated, she started vomiting blood and my brother admitted her to the hospital. On Sunday, her soul departed from this world. At that moment, everything was frozen to me. My sister and my self could not travel. Amma’s last rites were carried out within 24 hours from her departing. I am still trying to come to terms with what has happened, how I am feeling and how I am going to move forward.

I was reminded of Tagore’s quote that ‘Death is not extinguishing the light; it is putting out the lamp because dawn has come’. I am struggling to understand this at this moment. Since I got married and came far away, I just need to hear from my father or mother that ‘all is going to be ok Vani’ and that will be like a magic mantra. After hearing them, all will turn ok. Now I won’t see a phone ring coming from my parents id, I will not have a cheeky, laughing or tender moment during the morning. Since dad’s death, whenever I see a rainbow, I scream with joy as I felt I saw my dad in the rainbow. I am looking for signs from my mom. Universe must show me some signal that all is going to be ok, because Rumi promised us that ‘Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form’.

Perhaps I have already been shown this signal. I was writing this as a therapy for. Suddenly I have realised that I have not logged into Induladies for years. I do not know how and why. Since dad passing away, I have blocked certain things unknowingly. I tried to log in, obviously password was not working. I reset it and I saw message from @viswa uncle from last year, looking out for me. I promise, at that moment I really felt swami is showing me some blessings. @viswa uncle I love you. So, I decided to post this and seeking blessing from you all. I must say I felt selfish that when I need something I am seeking out, when I have forgotten all about this family while I was running with mundane things. Please forgive me for my ignorance. I am going to confront my emotions, loneliness and insecurities courageously and move forwards with swami’s grace.
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sln, Sep 6, 2024

sln, Sep 6, 2024

#12
Sep 6, 2024 #13

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Moving narration of losing both parents.It makes it more painful if you are not there for the final farewell. At some stage in our life we have to reconcile with reality and life has to go on.I lost my wife 13 years back but she still continues to guide with questions like " would mythili have approved this".The best way to keep their memory alive is to recall and relive the value system imparted by them.

sln, Sep 6, 2024

sln, Sep 6, 2024

#13

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Sep 7, 2024 #14

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@girvani, I am so sorry for your loss. May your beloved mother’s soul rest in peace and may her memory always remain a blessing. Please take care.

MalStrom, Sep 7, 2024

MalStrom, Sep 7, 2024

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Sep 8, 2024 #15

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Viswamitra said: ↑

My Dearest Vani,

I am deeply pained to hear that your mom passed away and you are so distressed after losing your dearest mom. First of all, my prayers are with you for the departed soul's comfort and next my sincere prayers for you to recover from the loss of your mother soon. Grieving is a mechanism gifted to the humanity for us to recover from the sufferings of losing a dear one. The entire IL is here with you to help you heal faster and please feel free to write here when it is possible. No one here will feel you reach out only when you need and everyone here understands you have a life of your own and reach out to IL when possible. You deep love for your parents will ensure their memories remain with you forever.

Always remember Swami is with you, understands your love for your parents and He would help you heal faster. I sent you a message last year to check on how you, your husband and sons were doing and I am glad you were able to read it now when you need a loving message.

Please do remember that your mom is no longer hurting and is at the Lotus Feet of Swami. This feeling will give a lot of comfort to you. It is unfortunate that you were not able to go to pay final respect to your mom but she knows how much you love her as you continue to think about her. When a parent passes away, he or she would bless all his/her children and look after them in mysterious ways without being present in this world. Please also remember that your mom wants you to lead a happy life with your husband and children.

After you heal a little, keep doing things that makes you feel a great sense of fulfillment. Your love for studies is contagious and continue to pursue more research to learn more and more. Please guide your children to pursue their interest. Practice dancing and feel connected with the Universal Absolute.

Always remember, "it is not death that separates us from loved ones but not remembering them does". Whenever you are overwhelmed with thoughts of your mom, light a lamp after the mourning period is over and reach out to elders in your country to serve them whatever way you can.

Always remember you can write to me anytime about anything through personal messages or through email. I am here to help you in anyway I could.

With lots of love

Viswa Uncle
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Dear Viswa uncle,

Your words and kindness meant a lot to me. I am forever grateful. Thank you so much uncle.

Vani

girvani, Sep 8, 2024

girvani, Sep 8, 2024

#15
Sep 8, 2024 #16

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sln said: ↑

Moving narration of losing both parents.It makes it more painful if you are not there for the final farewell. At some stage in our life we have to reconcile with reality and life has to go on.I lost my wife 13 years back but she still continues to guide with questions like " would mythili have approved this".The best way to keep their memory alive is to recall and relive the value system imparted by them.
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Dear uncle
I very much appreciate and I will keep my parents memory alive until my last breath. Thank you very much.
Vani

girvani, Sep 8, 2024

girvani, Sep 8, 2024

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Sep 8, 2024 #17

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Thyagarajan said: ↑

A soothing feather touch missive in times of distress thanks to viswa sir.
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True sir

girvani, Sep 8, 2024

girvani, Sep 8, 2024

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Sep 8, 2024 #18

girvani Platinum IL'ite

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MalStrom said: ↑

@girvani, I am so sorry for your loss. May your beloved mother’s soul rest in peace and may her memory always remain a blessing. Please take care.
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Thank you so much @malstorm. Much appreciated.
Vani

girvani, Sep 8, 2024

girvani, Sep 8, 2024

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Sep 28, 2024 #19

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girvani said: ↑

I love this song and I play this in violin.
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How to get your violin play of this popular song in audio track here?
Regards.
God Mother Bless

Thyagarajan, Sep 28, 2024

Thyagarajan, Sep 28, 2024

#19

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Sep 30, 2024 #20

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Thyagarajan said: ↑

How to get your violin play of this popular song in audio track here?
Regards.
God Mother Bless
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Dear Sir,

I will do that.
Have a beautiful day
Vani

girvani, Sep 30, 2024

girvani, Sep 30, 2024

#20

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