Tired Of The Mental Stress!

@kenny , i can very well understand your situation. People with such a mindset will not change whatever you do. The question of discussing with him does not arise knowing he is against you doing things for your parents. You had no alternative than going ahead with what you deemed fit towards helping your parents settle in. Hence, just carry on with your duties otherwise at home and just ignore and try not to argue or try to make your point heard. Clearly they are not going to understand because they dont want to! Just avoid discussing anything that you do for your parents after they settle in. Living in such an atmosphere ,is difficult but you have done the right thing and just dont have any expectations of empathy where this is concerned.

 

@kenny,

Have been there and done that. And i know how it is going to be.
But, you have taken the right decision. Do not take a step back. Its a lot of relief for us when parents stay close as its you who would be taking responsibility and care of parents, your family and your inlaws. It will impact anyone else in your family.
Stay calm for you spouse's tantrums. Thats very important. You can tell him that he can also take the decsions relating to his parents and their responsibilities. All other things relating to your family has to be a joint decision.
Give it some time, things will settle down. Its on your shoulders to balance both parents and inlaws.
Plan your every day activities accordingly.

 

Ask your husband and MIL directly if they would want to be treated as they are treating you. If they say no then ask why is there a double standard?

 

You have done the right thing, Kenny. It is good your parents are willing to move closer to you and it is great that you have been able to find a solution suitable for them as well as for you. Your husband and mil don't have to be consulted on where your parents should live. India is a free country and your parents can live wherever they want without having to take your mil's or husband's permission. Basta.

Men do not need any reason to sullk and behave badly. It is their privilege and birthright. Best way is to ignore such behaviour and do whatever you have to.

 

Tell your husband in few years his daughter will be in your place and he will be in same place where your father is. Your daughter's husband will act same like you husband. Hopefully he will understand you better. Don't take stress from mil and dh. Try to continue your duties without stress. take care.

 

how is your parent living near you going to impact your Husband life so much .that he will be crippled. does he not have office work or anything else better to do. does not focus on things like making more money or health or kids . some men sound more feminine than females.

have a firm talk with your spouse and mention your boundaries and duties to all (including your own home, parents).

finding and arguing with such people will mentally drain you. they will not change . stop looking for acceptances. like h not talking . plan a routing for you where you take care of parents , your roles are your home. and work if do.

most important. you need to find some time like 30 to 1 hr alone without anyone for exercise. since negative environment changes you also.

 

@kenny

You did what is righteous and you try to tell your MIL and husband about your parents moving closer to you. But they didn't approve of it. Now that you have completed the action needed to bring your parents closer to your house, you don't have to worry about the objections coming from your husband and MIL.

Frankly, you should ask calmly to your husband how your parents moving closer to your home is affecting him. He won't have any answer. There is no good or bad time to do what you did and your husband losing his job has nothing to do with your parents' move. If he is showing his frustration on you for losing his job, it is his mental problem. Please don't allow his or your MIL's words to get to you. You keep cool, and do your job unaffected by all these noises.

What decision he can take without asking you? These are all empty threats to shake you up for no reason. When you do what you like to do unaffected by their noises, they will slowly understand that none of their words are going to affect you.

My best wishes.