Tips for couseling those Suicidal thoughts...

subbutr · Aug 15, 2008

My Dear Friends,

A suicidal thought occurs out of frustrations, dejections & unsavory incidents in Life.
They take various types of attempts to let them die for no fault of theirs.
That’s highly pathetic & society should come forward to help them out & restore their self confidence & courage to face the realities of life.
It is to be noted that several love failures, worst academic performances, abuses, Isolation and Loneliness - Break-up of an Intimate Relationship and shameful incidents occurred during their struggle to survive.

We Know it happens, Let us talk about it…

Mostly youngsters & teenager’s fall in to this trap within a few seconds due to unsteady minds.
At that time some one has to take care of & mend them back to normalcy by Love & affections.

Let them know how we care about their well being…

Meanwhile try not to be too tough & aggravate their feelings…
Focus on them & not their behaviors but on their emotional longings…
The amount of pain & agony they undergone is highly unbearable.
Just feel safe about sharing something very personal with them that they may be ashamed of.
Back off if you feel like you're touching a nerve that will be too painful and cause them to disconnect from you. These things take time, and trust needs to be earned.
They need to know that you'll still be their friend at any crisis.

Our friendship is NOT conditional upon their behavior; it's there for them no matter what they do.
Let them know that many thousands of other people do what they have been doing, she / he not the only one, and that anyone can overcome this, which this won't last forever.

A close friend, well wishers or Psychologists can help them back to recover to normalcy through few counseling.
Hints for some smooth solutions are:
Let us Talk, listen, respect and be emotionally available to the survivor.
Accept what the survivor tells us.
Explain them the consequences of negative disorders, install the confidence in them.
Listen non - judgmentally. Suggest options and actions (medical, psychological and other assistance), but let the survivor decide what action to take.
Never Ever force them by compulsions. It may boomerang any time…
Assure the survivor that we will be available to provide support throughout the process of recovery.
It takes time to heal. Be patient and understand that the healing process takes time.

Subbu

ramyaganesh · Aug 16, 2008

Hi Subbu mam,

Such a sensitive topic..

I want to share some thing in this thread.

When i am doing my engineering 3rd year, one of my friend tried to suicide in college by consuming poision. suddenly he fallen down then eeverybody got tensed and taken him to hospital. It became big issue and also a police case, but nobody knows whats the exact reason till two days. then suddenly gossip came as he had a break-up with his girlfriend, whose is studying in the same calss and we all know about the affair going on between them from 2 years.. suddenly caste problem raised when the girls parents came to know about their affair(they are christians and the boy is hindu). some how he survived that time. his friends started taking care about him, once again he tried in his friends room. luckily then also he escaped. Everybody tried to counsel him from our principal to juniors. But he again tried at his home, when his mother went out to near by temple in the evening by hanging himself to the roof. this time no one is there to save him. From our college everybody went to see his body next day.
We are so suprised to see his mother not even crying and sitting like nothing happened. then we came to know she lost her mind, she is in terrific shock. Our friend is the only son to them. His father is uncontrollable by seeing all of us, he cried very loudly saying now who will take care of us, we thought by next year he will completehis job and settles in a job...

To our surprise that girl not even came to see that boys dead body. and she continued her studies and took the degree.

If that boy thought even for a single second about his parents he might ahve not done that thing. what about hsi parents now.. who will tkae care of them.

people should think atleast for a second about their parents before taking such terrific decisions.

Gowri66 · Aug 16, 2008

Hi

It is very sensitive topic !! Subbu - It is a nice write-up from you ....

Agreeing the words of RamyaGanesh : "If that boy thought even for a single second about his parents he might ahve not done that thing. what about hsi parents now.. who will tkae care of them.

people should think atleast for a second about their parents before taking such terrific decisions."

sprasanna · Aug 17, 2008

Just a thought that i'd like to share too. Time heals everything.

In life we go through many different phases. Some highs and some lows. When we are experiencing the lows , we should keep in mind a thought ' This too shall pass.'. As for the who boy committed suicide , if only he had talked to someone , maybe a friend or an elder, he would have seen its not something to take one's life over. Someone could have shown him the brighter side of living, if only he had told someone the way he was feeling. At times, in moments of extreme emotions, we do not think how our actions will affect others around us, thats the sad thing.

Saahithya · Aug 27, 2008

Subbu sir

thanks alot for these tips..

archu1981 · Aug 27, 2008

hello subbu sir,
you have startted a very nice and sensitive thread.now a daysit has become a very high no,of cases.after reading to ramya ganesh i also anted to share one insident in my life......
i had one cousin .she is really very good looking and loveble girl.she was the youngest daughter of 4kids.her 2bro's and elder sis has to take good care for her.and mom and dad use treat her like good fortune to the family.when she is dng her B.SC. final yr.they started looking for good aliance.they arranged her match with one of theire distant relative and well knon to them.both side all are agreed and everythng is fine.but the boy wanted to wait for 1 yr to get married .so every body accepted.he use to spend time with this girl toooo.finally they got married after16 months or so......but after tht the girl has started seeing the other side in his family.they harrased her mentally and physically.she told to her parents ,but they thought because of his parents they he is behaving likethat.after 3yrs of married life and having 2yr son...she tried to fire her self with kerosine....luckyly she escaped.but she had to face so many probs.after 1yr she tried to hang herself...but again eescaped then her parents called theire daughter and SIL sat and talked about what is actual problem with them.........after hearing from theire SIL they got shocked about his parents,bro.,SIL,and sis.s,and the girls family then and there decide to send them out of country.after 6mnths this couple with 2kids moved to london.no they dont want to go back to India.as his family is against to his wife...but he loves her and feeling sorry for past.and the girl is planning about theire future.

a very happy ending.......hope they live like that for ever.

Sriniketan · Aug 30, 2008

Subbu sir,
Nice tips...
always communication is helpful and which is also a life-saver..
only some realise these and get help..
As ramya has pointed out...if that boy had thought for a minute..
Glad to read the happy ending of archu's cousin, where the communication helped save a life..

sriniketan

malspie · Sep 6, 2008

Hi Subbu,

Suicidal thoughts come in only when we suppress our feelings. Trust one of your friend and open up, say all that you want to say, even the slightest thought or provocation that comes in your mind, your friend will kill it before it grows in to a tree with discussion and consoling.

The tree of supressed thoughts and feelings is the main root of suicide. You must learn to open your heart to someone, candidly. It helps, Ihave helped many people to come out of depression.

Remember, before taking the major step of suicide, the person shows signs of DEPRESSION.

lalisiva · Sep 30, 2008

Hi, it's a very sensitive topic indeed. suicide is not always the way to beat depression. thanks for sharing your tips
lalitha

sarajara · Oct 19, 2011

Thanks for bringing up the thread!

Not only youngsters, not only those who ahve love failurees.. but there is a lot of people seriously speculating on suicide..

Of course i should admit that there is many a moment where in i have even decided that i would end my life!
sadness and dejected feeling and a feeling that there is no moral support in life makes one think that there is no reason to continue living.

I salute you for bringing up this thread! It would definitely help at least a few people to rethink over such ideas.

Regards,
Savietha