Time To Take Leave! Good-bye Till We Meet Again! Varalotti In The US – Final Episode!

It has been sheer happiness for me to share my learning experiences with you all during the past two months. Your responses to my posts reinforced my learning and quite often gave me some new lessons and new insights.

Good or bad, everything has to come to an end. So is the case with Varalotti In The US series. I am leaving <st1:city><st1lace>Seattle</st1lace></st1:city> on the 18^th Of October for a ten-day long tour of the East Coast before returning home by the end of the month.


Once I leave this place I will merge with the faceless crowd of millions who roam about this great country. But if you happen to see a tall, not-so-slim figure with a digital camera on his hands and a look of wonder in his eyes, stand for a minute longer to take a deeper look. Chances are that it could be your friend in IL.

I did so many things while I was here. Got myself trained. My Guru endorsed that I still have the capacity to be a student and start it all over from the scratch.

I saw places.


Of course I also wrote my twice-a -week columns and kept some of you engaged, and a few of you engrossed. I met people. I read about people.

I viewed TV shows about people here, their feelings, their greatness, their failings and their attitudes. I have enough material that could fill up volumes.

And finally, Ladies, I also had the time and opportunity to look deep into myself.


When life was dancing before me with such an intensity, with such a passion, I cannot help but search deep into myself, into my thoughts, into my feelings, my failings and, surprisingly, even into my life’s mission.


Not that life’s any less intense back home in <st1:country-region><st1lace>India</st1lace></st1:country-region>. But there I took life for granted. I did not see it with the eyes of a wandering seafarer as I do here.

I have been a very good son, a good student, a loving brother, a reliable professional and a good friend. But I have just been an okay father and far from being an ideal husband. To the two wonderful persons – I mean my wife and my daughter – who are hurt by my failures, I owe an apology and a vow to reform myself. I am relying on God’s love and your prayers to fulfill that vow.

Why I am here on this planet? I had thought about this a million times and had never come up with any sensible answer.


The person who went to college with me - I used to teach him tax and accounting - is now heading a Venture Capital firm in the Gulf making so much money in a month, that I cannot hope to make it in my life time. Another friend of mine owns hotel chains in <st1:country-region><st1lace>England</st1lace></st1:country-region>, <st1:country-region><st1lace>America</st1lace></st1:country-region> and <st1:country-region><st1lace>Australia</st1lace></st1:country-region>. I have never longed for such successes. I have never felt bad about myself, seeing these people.

I found out pretty early that my mission in life is not to be the richest man on earth. Nor do I want to be the world’s number one Accounting professional. Nor even do I want to be the world’s best writer.

Then what is that I want to do? I was thinking about so many things and then it struck me.

I want to love and to learn. To love to learn and To learn to love.
Love is not just falling in love. It is much more than just making love.

I have loved a lot. But it simply is not enough for me. I have loved and have been brutally betrayed. I have been hurt. I have cried. I have shouted in disbelief when I was let down by those I loved.

All these have not dampened my desire to love more and love better. Even the lonely hours spent in writing is only an expression of love.

Not that I have not hurt others. But I have never done that intentionally. The moment I realise that it is my love that hurts the other person, I book my losses and move away, not wanting to hurt the person any longer. I had to do that very recently with a very heavy heart.

I have been learning ever since I was three. I signed up for a new course when I was 45. I am here in the <st1:country-region><st1lace>US</st1lace></st1:country-region> when I am almost 50 to learn something new. I learnt much more than what was planned for me, both on work and off work.

Fifty is not the age you think of your epitaph. But I can’t help thinking of one that would sit nicely on my final resting place.

“All his life, this man just wanted to love and to learn. To love to learn and to learn to love.”

With these words I am taking leave of you, Most Gracious ILites. I will be back once I return home and settle down after winning over the jet lag. Who knows, very soon, if God willing, I will meet you with yet another serial! HE.


Another expression of my love towards all of you.


Till then, take care. May God always be with you!

With Love,

 

Re: Time To Take Leave! Good-bye Till We Meet Again! Varalotti In The US – Final Epis

Dear Varloo,
Thanks for the first post. After writing this post I was a little skeptical about its acceptance or the nature of the responses it might evoke. But I could not just stop myself writing the post. Only after writing it did I feel that a big load has been lifted off my head.
When I was a child elders in my home (an aunt and a grandma) used to say that whenever I go out even it be for the shop at the end of the street. I never understood the reason for that. Only after forty years of thinking did I uncover the reason.
Life is uncertain and any thing may happen any time. So when we go out it is better we take leave of everybody at home. You do not quit the world with unfinished business at hand.
But when I started to write this post, I became a little bit emotional. Probably because it was leave-taking time at office too. Probably because I became too much attached with the people over here. And leaving them was painful too.
I am happy that those emotional moments taught me about my business here in the planet.
As I came to the US for a specific business, all of us have come to the world for some specific business. I can go for shopping, go for sight-seeing but I have to have an eye on the business too. That ultimately gives meaning to the trip. And so is the case with our trip to this world.
Thanks for your warm welcome message. Looking forward to my visit to India.
regards,

 

Re: Time To Take Leave! Good-bye Till We Meet Again! Varalotti In The US – Final Epis

Hi Vara,

Nice to see you in my forum after a pretty long time. To share a secret with you, I had planned something else for the last post. But as I was wrapping up my work at the office I got emotional and kind of remembered the final leave taking from this world.

In that mood the words came from the depths of my heart, Vara. But I need to add a note of caution, my friend. Simply because I have found out why I was born on this planet does not mean that I have successfully fulfilled my mission. But realisation of one's mission is equivalent to walking half the distance in the right direction. To walk the remaining distance I need Her help and prayers of good friends like you.

Thanks for being there.
regards,

 

Re: Time To Take Leave! Good-bye Till We Meet Again! Varalotti In The US – Final Epis

Hello Vandhana,

Yes, Vandhana, for the past two days I am also sad that I am leaving my most gracious hosts.
Yesterday was my last day in the office. I had planned to take leave of everybody in the evening. But an hour after lunch somebody called me to the lunch room.

I was surprised to see all the staff members assembled there. In the center-table was a large chocolate-icecream cake with the words, "Goodbye Sridhar" written over it. And there was a large card in which everyone had written a line or two about me.

I was not prepared for this and had to take Herculean efforts to avoid a breakdown.

It is philosophical to say that life's full of meetings and partings. But to my heart every parting is pain, for heart knows no philosophy.
And Vandhana, this is the right forum to go on record about your hospitality. On 14th October I did think of the day we spent together at San Jose.
I thought my only sister lives in Adyar. Now I can go on to say that I have a sister in San Jose as well.
Thanks for being there, Vandhana. Take Care. Regards to your DH and the kids.

regards,

 

Re: Time To Take Leave! Good-bye Till We Meet Again! Varalotti In The US – Final Epis

Nice to hear from you sudha after a long time. Hope everything is fine with you.
I was in the US since end August. I am in Seattle now. Going to Atlanta tomorrow.And from there to NY on 23rd and then back to India on 28th.
I do have a lot of materials. Apart from TV shows and newspapers I actually worked with a lot of Americans. I discussed a lot about the human relationships over here, especially the ones based on marriage and love.
I did see some classic movies.
Thanks for the kind words, Sudha.
regards,
sridhar