Time Management - Home-kids-work- no time for self?

preethiitech · Aug 7, 2014

Hi dear friends,

In today's busy lifestyle, we are always running, its always a rush!
Starting from early morning getting ready, sending kids, traffic to work, work itself being hectic, rushing back, picking up kids, cooking, feeding them, homework, playing, cleaning up, bed time and OMG its 11pm ! Hit the bed.. and Again tomorrow the story repeats!

Lacking:
Sense of calmness, No peace, missing out on happy moments with children, arguments and tension due to the rushing, no time to listen to each other...and always busy doing work, house work, cleaning, etc!! NO TIME to take care of self, rest, relax....

Please pour out tips, tricks, your thoughts....
How do you experienced smart ladies manage?

AkilaMani · Aug 7, 2014

The first thing that comes to mind while reading it is..... Breath.... yes, sometimes you just have to breath... do it consciously.... that in itself will restore some sense of calm.

I do it when I feel that I am rushing things too much. I take a minute to just draw in breath and think about nothing else and wonder how that keeps me alive.... it takes my mind off the immediate problem. it might be just for a minute, but it does make my mind a little more calm and when I relook at what was stressing me out so much, I usually end up smiling at it.

There is a lot more to it of course, the time management I mean, so many things that we can do, I have learnt a lot and come a long way with the support of lovely friends in IL through this thread.

Will come back later to share some of my simple tricks ;-)

preethiitech · Aug 7, 2014

Thanks for the reply Akila, Yes, I need a break! And a one minute Breathing break.. sometimes my mind fails to remember this simple thing. Thanks for bringing me back to reality from my ranting

AkilaMani · Aug 7, 2014

Hi Preethi,

We all do it, getting caught up in the haste of completing a chore after another that we totally forget that there is more to life.

This is not to say that these chores / work are not important, just that we need to sometimes take a step back to appreciate some simple things that are extraordinary in the grand scheme.

Here are some of my tricks I employ during stressful times:
1. Traffic - late for office - important meeting -
Evaluate if there is any way I can speed up my progress, if it is not possible at all - then it is beyond my control, since I cannot help it, I just send a message to all related parties, then
a. read if I have a book or listen to music if I have my headset.
b. No book or headset - I close my eyes and plan my day,
c. if that is already done or I don't feel like it, I just let my mind wander into some pleasant thoughts - how we enjoyed a trip, how I loved it when my Jerry (my pet dog when I was in school) would run and bounce on me when I opened the gate, how my kids laughed when I cracked a silly joke, some funny things the kids said or did, anything that is a happy thought.... it sure brings on a smile on my face.

2. Cooking - time constraint -
a. I plan ahead. This reduces stress.
b. Always have a plan B which is a simple solution.
c. If nothing else, eat out and don't feel guilty about it. For all I know my kids love it if on somedays I announce that I did not pack their lunch, they can buy at the school cafeteria ;-)

3. Overslept
Now its done, its done. There is no undoing. Wake kids gently, inform them its late and I also inform their teachers even if they are late by 10 mins. This helps the kids be calm when they get ready and go to school, otherwise they are worried if the teacher will scold.

Cleaning:
Not to worry, no ones criticizing. If they are, then I am least bothered. I do what is required for hygiene, rest is all only decorative, so I do when I can, but that is not on the priority list

seekingbless · Aug 7, 2014

my tips:

i opted to work in shift so that both me and my dh who works in shift too can be at home to take care of the kids alternatively. we stay with pils, so most of the time mil will be at home with the kids. but my mil needs our help.
since we are working in shift, we cud avoid peak hours jam too.
pre plan what need to be cook the day before, and i make mental note on what have to be done first.
this is my schedule if im doing afternoon shift
- morning after send kids to pre-school, i will go to park for one hour or continue to sleep if i slept very late the previous nite (2.30am)
- have breakfast and start cooking for kids and sometimes for myself. Mil always cooks for the rest, unless i want to make sometime special for me or for dh.
- clean kitcen and wash dishes used for cooking.
- take bath and rest for awhile. fold clothes or put clothes for drying
- kids come back frm school by van. change them and feed them lunch (time and energy consuming)
- eat or pack lunch for me and off to work.
i will be back by 11.30pm or 1.30am depending on my shift.
at nite dh will be at home with the kids to feed them lunch and go through their homeworks. also put them to sleep.
- for cleaning, we hire a cleaner to come on alternate days. (u must do that too preethi, or else it will be very exhausting for u)
both me and dh are not able to spend time together or as a family, but we will compensate it by going out during our off days or i will take half day off or full day off in between for outing.
(i feel this is better, because my dh will be missing me and looking forward for my off days :crazy)

hridhaya · Aug 7, 2014

Hi Preethi,

It's definitely a challenge and what's working for us is trying out different approaches based on the need of the hour.

I keep my head above water by a mix of things like compromising my office work by taking lesser responsibilities, hiring a cook and maid, staying close to work, getting help from husband,staying positive etc. We have only one kid to take care hence DH and I have assigned work and follow the same routine every day.

During my kid's summer vacation, I took unpaid leave because I wanted to be with my daughter. Thankfully I have some understanding people at work. When my kid was a toddler, my husband took a back seat in his career as there was no outside help.

Off late, I have cut down on shopping and house cleaning. I have opted for online shopping even for clothing. I don't prefer to go anywhere during weekends as I want to use the time to recharge for the week ahead.

Even the kids schedule I had grand ideas of making DD learn so many things in a day.But realized we were not going any where. So loosened up there and gained some time for myself.

Just keep only the essential things going in the week days and don't sweat more. We need to let go of non essentials and get creative of doing things.

NellaiMurugan · Aug 13, 2014

preethiitech said: ↑

Hi dear friends,

In today's busy lifestyle, we are always running, its always a rush!
Starting from early morning getting ready, sending kids, traffic to work, work itself being hectic, rushing back, picking up kids, cooking, feeding them, homework, playing, cleaning up, bed time and OMG its 11pm ! Hit the bed.. and Again tomorrow the story repeats!

Lacking:
Sense of calmness, No peace, missing out on happy moments with children, arguments and tension due to the rushing, no time to listen to each other...and always busy doing work, house work, cleaning, etc!! NO TIME to take care of self, rest, relax....

Please pour out tips, tricks, your thoughts....
How do you experienced smart ladies manage?
Click to expand...

In spite of such a busy life, where time is so scare, you had been able to upload 2550 posts in this website !!

Sorry ! Just kidding !

One should take out at least some time (for things like reading/workouts etc) for oneself in every day.

preethiitech · Aug 13, 2014

Thanks a ton Akilamani for your valuable suggestions and the link you had referenced.. I just Read the first two pages and made a plan like how Kkrish ma had shown and yes I accomplished more tasks than a normal day!!

And thanks for your detailed reply ; I badly want to follow your tip 2c; don't feel guilty to eat out since kids just love it.. And also my cleaning 24*7.. I'm trying to follow these now.. This 1 week has been better..

preethiitech · Aug 13, 2014

Thanks seekingbless for the reply; everyone everywhere emphasises th need for planning our meals! And that's what I don't do.. Since we feel its monotonous! And thereby end up deciding what Dh and me like to eat just before cooking; and start chopping; and sometimes we do 2 or more dishes just for variety thereby adding the work..

This week I plan one day in advance and try to chop one vege atleast.. So this itselfis saving some time ..

Thanks hridaya, since we don't have maids or cooks here who would come in few hours a day , that why we need to plan properly..

preethiitech · Aug 13, 2014

Hi nellaimurugan,

Funny or not, you have made me think a minute! Yes as you said I spend some time to read everyday; is reading IL not considered reading?

Workouts - I normally consider the time spent with dd in the park and the long walk we take as physical activity for the day.. Also the usual running around the house and house work

What I meant in my Op is I keep doing something or the other that sometime I wonder I can't even sit down simply