Log in or Sign up

Have an Interesting Snippet to Share : Click Here
Dismiss Notice

This Week's Contest And My Poem Here

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by sunkan, Mar 11, 2008.

Page 2 of 3

Mar 12, 2008 #11

sunkan Gold IL'ite

Messages:

4,124

Likes Received:

236

Trophy Points:

153

Gender:

Female

cheeniya said: ↑

Dear Sundari
If that vulture waiting for the kid to die makes me sad, your poem makes me feel a lump in my throat. When you say,
I know my end is near to be
From the way you look at me
it is heart wrenching. After reading those lines, I looked again at the picture of the vulture waiting patiently for the child to die. Is the child aware that its end is near to be? Even without that awareness, the child will be gone as you say,
Now I breathe and now I’m gone
Someone survived someone gone

Sundari, this is not like the tiger pouncing on the deer to eat it as that is an integral part of Nature but this vulture waiting to feed on the child is man-made. According to the laws of Nature, a human being is not intended to be a vulture's prey. If such an unnatural thing happens, we have only ourselves to blame. It is our greed that causes some to die such a terrible death.
A lovely poem, Sundari.
Sri
Click to expand...

thanku sri,
the second verse is for the frog that awaits its prey to slurp away who knows who is around to eat away , so it is someone survived and some one gone... thanku so much for the analytical comment..sundari

sunkan, Mar 12, 2008

sunkan, Mar 12, 2008

#11
Mar 12, 2008 #12

sunkan Gold IL'ite

Messages:

4,124

Likes Received:

236

Trophy Points:

153

Gender:

Female

shanvy said: ↑

Oh! Mother Earth, I search you in vain,
Just show me a few grains,
That I can eat and share,
I need the strength,
to straighten my bent knee,
And run from the waiting death.

Look at the vulture waiting,
Has he smelt death I wonder,
Poor one,does he think i have lot of flesh,
How disappointed he is going to be.

I want to live, I will not accept defeat,
Like the frog that is waiting,
to lash out its tongue at its prey,
laws of nature are defied,
when it comes to survival

Sunkan, hope i have done some justice.

Click to expand...

shanthi,
it is very nice and dont ever ask any one for justice you are great on your own all of us put it here none to judge but all to praise..thanku for posting it here, very soon would love to open a competition for the poets who will have to contribute and then they get a chance to post a picture for others to write on it, the more people join and make it a success it is a game to be played and never to be commented as just nice the comments are ok but all write for a banner so each one gets a comment like competition # 1 or #2 and so on, tell me how many of them would join, so that we can conduct the game here tooo, and poet's number will increase their interest revived..sunkan

sunkan, Mar 12, 2008

sunkan, Mar 12, 2008

#12
Mar 12, 2008 #13

aishu22 Gold IL'ite

Messages:

2,598

Likes Received:

112

Trophy Points:

160

Gender:

Female

Dear Sunkan,
It was a good one.The photograph makes me feel so bad.Such is the state of live:-(.

aishu22, Mar 12, 2008

aishu22, Mar 12, 2008

#13
Mar 12, 2008 #14

aishu22 Gold IL'ite

Messages:

2,598

Likes Received:

112

Trophy Points:

160

Gender:

Female

Dear AC&Shan,
Good one..Seems liek every one around is bitten by the poetry bug here(except me) for i cant write poems...:-( :-( im guilty

aishu22, Mar 12, 2008

aishu22, Mar 12, 2008

#14
Mar 12, 2008 #15

sathya Gold IL'ite

Messages:

1,459

Likes Received:

68

Trophy Points:

103

Gender:

Female

hello akka

your contests and poems
are really great
that they bring fine verse
from some who never wrote
short lines...!!
while yours is heart wrenching
as the vulture patiently waits
sriniks im waiting to hear...
chitra's lines are great too
what with rhymes fresh
to change the world ...wait
and shanthi a poet
with words searching...
the vulture
disappointed he's sure to be...
come on aishu...just a couple of
lines...break free
and you have a poem
that doesn't rhyme maybe
but right from the heart
and the surprise visitor
who has a nice word penned
from his great
words collections
i enjoyed reading every one of them

sathya

Last edited: Mar 12, 2008

sathya, Mar 12, 2008

sathya, Mar 12, 2008

#15
Mar 12, 2008 #16

sathya Gold IL'ite

Messages:

1,459

Likes Received:

68

Trophy Points:

103

Gender:

Female

hello akka...
my lines .....

dig dig dig deep
how do i dig
when hungry...?
somewhere hereabouts
is mama mine
buried by rubbles
and dust

mama why don't you hear my voice so?
have you become recently deaf?
while i always tagged along
why did you have to leave me alone?
in this dry parched world..

in this dry parched world yes...
for here in this world
is cloned hearts galore
of rich billionaires
that spend millions and millions
on trendy stuff..
and recently enough
they have put them hard hearts
in vultures too
just like them

waiting to hungrily feed
dead or alive
i dare not fear death
but just one look at
your lovely face....mmmhhmm

just like HIM
the great lord above
to have contrasting things
on earth
love and hate
rain and storm
summer and winter

frogs foretell
a lovely spell of rain
be it the flying or skip skip kind
while this part of earth is parched
dead well ...almost
here is a part that's green
all green..

oh what i wouldn't give
to bring over greenery
to this parched land?

or is he the frog prince
in waiting?

sathya

sathya, Mar 12, 2008

sathya, Mar 12, 2008

#16
Mar 12, 2008 #17

sunkan Gold IL'ite

Messages:

4,124

Likes Received:

236

Trophy Points:

153

Gender:

Female

aishu22 said: ↑

Dear AC&Shan,
Good one..Seems liek every one around is bitten by the poetry bug here(except me) for i cant write poems...:-( :-( im guilty
Click to expand...

dont worry aishu,
we need good commentators for all the article and poems not the nice or so cute or wonderful but yes someone who can really write their mind, when you have criticism a little and pointing out certain aspect u make the writer or a poet think, now don't you think it is easy to do this, yes it is very few takers how about u?? sunkan

sunkan, Mar 12, 2008

sunkan, Mar 12, 2008

#17
Mar 12, 2008 #18

Anandchitra IL Hall of Fame

Messages:

6,617

Likes Received:

2,620

Trophy Points:

345

Gender:

Female

shanvy said: ↑

Oh! Mother Earth, I search you in vain,
Just show me a few grains,
That I can eat and share,
I need the strength,
to straighten my bent knee,
And run from the waiting death.

Look at the vulture waiting,
Has he smelt death I wonder,
Poor one,does he think i have lot of flesh,
How disappointed he is going to be.

I want to live, I will not accept defeat,
Like the frog that is waiting,
to lash out its tongue at its prey,
laws of nature are defied,
when it comes to survival

Sunkan, hope i have done some justice.
Click to expand...

Shanthi my firiend
you have done more than justice It is absolutely fantasic. thanks for sharing

Anandchitra, Mar 12, 2008

Anandchitra, Mar 12, 2008

#18
Mar 12, 2008 #19

Anandchitra IL Hall of Fame

Messages:

6,617

Likes Received:

2,620

Trophy Points:

345

Gender:

Female

sathya said: ↑

hello akka...
my lines .....

dig dig dig deep
how do i dig
when hungry...?
somewhere hereabouts
is mama mine
buried by rubbles
and dust

mama why don't you hear my voice so?
have you become recently deaf?
while i always tagged along
why did you have to leave me alone?
in this dry parched world..

in this dry parched world yes...
for here in this world
is cloned hearts galore
of rich billionaires
that spend millions and millions
on trendy stuff..
and recently enough
they have put them hard hearts
in vultures too
just like them

waiting to hungrily feed
dead or alive
i dare not fear death
but just one look at
your lovely face....mmmhhmm

just like HIM
the great lord above
to have contrasting things
on earth
love and hate
rain and storm
summer and winter

frogs foretell
a lovely spell of rain
be it the flying or skip skip kind
while this part of earth is parched
dead well ...almost
here is a part that's green
all green..

oh what i wouldn't give
to bring over greenery
to this parched land?

or is he the frog prince
in waiting?

sathya
Click to expand...

anbulla sathya
beautiful!!! none less is expected from you my friend

Anandchitra, Mar 12, 2008

Anandchitra, Mar 12, 2008

#19
Mar 13, 2008 #20

Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

Messages:

23,659

Likes Received:

27,218

Trophy Points:

590

Gender:

Female

sunkan said: ↑

shanthi,
it is very nice and dont ever ask any one for justice you are great on your own all of us put it here none to judge but all to praise..thanku for posting it here, very soon would love to open a competition for the poets who will have to contribute and then they get a chance to post a picture for others to write on it, the more people join and make it a success it is a game to be played and never to be commented as just nice the comments are ok but all write for a banner so each one gets a comment like competition # 1 or #2 and so on, tell me how many of them would join, so that we can conduct the game here tooo, and poet's number will increase their interest revived..sunkan
Click to expand...

Thank you sunkan for the encouragement.

Shanvy, Mar 13, 2008

Shanvy, Mar 13, 2008

#20

(You must log in or sign up to reply here.)

Page 2 of 3

Share This Page