Nothing new but the experience was different: A girl who got married with not much dreams came to US all I was worried about my carrier but got a wonderful husband who was very supportive didn’t even bother about planning for a family.. Job hunt job hunt finally after 10 months found one. Can’t blame these guys had to mention 2009 is when we had the recession . Ok now everything is awesome really? Now everyone started asking the usual question(baby). No time to even think as it was really busy but they didn’t stop asking.. Ok now its time to plan when we did nothing came along saw all these doctors they blamed me on my weight yeah I was 185 pounds. Ok now it became 200 pounds with all the stress and medications. Again the same story (lose weight , lose weight) really you guys?? Is there nothing you can do? Blaming me for the weight? Ok took it seriously worked out like crazy and dieted like insane lost 30 pounds. So 170 pounds now what again the same old story lose weight Ok decided to consult in India it was more worse. Most importantly got to call most of my in laws family and say we both don’t have any problems.. Are you kidding me? Yes still I did. Is this not considered harassment? Really hurt to the core what can be done? Other than the baby they don’t bother me I understand their point that they need grand kids so not to blame them. Nothing happened so visited all temples including(garbarakshambika temple,shridi ) prayed well that is all I can do right? Ok now we moved back to the same place as nothing much happened in his project. Ok again job hunting with in a month found one oh lucky me.. But it didn’t last the very first day of my job all kind of questions about my visa as it was in a extension. And the timing was from 5 AM to 1PM .It was too much to handle so I quit that one. With in a week got a another job thank God I am really happy here. Again life felt incomplete without a baby tried to convince my husband to see a fertility specialist after 3 months of agony he finally agreed. My weightless continued from 170 dropped to 149. Very soon they found out the culprit was PCOD. Ok now all kind of blood tests,hsg test. Loads and loads of ultrasound. Our insurance wouldn’t cover we decided to bear the expense. Had my first round of IUI which was unsuccessful. Ok made up my mind did our second round. One big fat positive pregnancy test thought all the struggle is over there is nothing much to worry now. Everyone was happy yeah our in laws didn’t announce it in TV other than that everyone knew that I am excepting. One whole week we actually slept well apparently it did didn’t last I had spotting thinking it was normal called my doctor they advised bedrest. One night woke up with severe cramps in the back and a bit of bleeding. Prayed and prayed that nothing shouldn’t happen. I was in the bed crying my husband was outside waiting the nurse asked me is everything ok why am I crying? Told her this pregnancy is a blessing after 2 years of Struggle. All the test came out to be normal but can’t find the baby in the ultrasound as it was only 5 weeks. The doctor told me the cervix is definitely closed. Repeated blood work(HCG) the levels dropped drastically from 747 to 355 they gave me no hope and asked me to prepare my self. Cried prayed that is all I did the whole day. I still thought the levels would rise but it dropped to 240. My dreams got shattered told myself this is not the end of my life we have better things to do. With that note I am keeping my fingers crossed. Whom should I blame now? Though wanna stop thinking about what happened I still can’t. Keeping my spirits high that this shall pass too..