Denmark is the happiest country in the world. And this is a place where marriages are practically of least importance. However it's a welfare state in the sense that children are taken care of by the state as also the medical expenses of all citizens. Similarly is the case in other Scandinavian countries. And a majority of the people here are atheists. So the lack of marital culture should have made many unhappy, but it hasn't. But people are basically happy because they are not trapped in marriages and have a really free life as well. Here the point I am making is marriages are really not a need. It is artificial. We can be happier without it. Nandita
My earlier thread on Mosuo : http://www.indusladies.com/forums/married-life/167652-the-womens-kingdom.html
For me, its just f... around and there is nothing to trivialize since its not something i give importance in first place. As for happiness quotient concerned, one should do the maths for last 2500 yrs at least, to know, who and which countries were/are really happy.
I think it is too generalized and there might be other reasons as well I agree with this. Though we cannot say that marriages is artificial etc, i think being single (or not getting legally wedded to somebody but living in a meaningful relationship) is equally good.
Majority of people in western countries still practice monogamy. Marriage rate might be going down but monogamous relationships are still the majority. Promiscuity is still considered as a negative thing. Live-in & same sex relationships are monogamous in nature. For most westerners marriage is still the golden standard to show the world the love and commitment they have for their partner. One night stands most of the time is the result of too much drinking / clubbing. People who indulge in one night stands are mostly young singles. Many don't continue the same life style for ever, monogamy is still the aim for many. Single parents are on the rise in the west but this is nothing to so with monogamy. Most of them don't plan to be single mothers, it just happened that way due to other reasons. Majority of people (west & east) still like their partner who is exclusive only to them.
OP I do not agree with everything that Ryan and Jetha say but I do agree with their point that as humans we need to know our sexual behavioral history. I am not sure but I was just wondering, could it be that people had multiple partners in olden times because human beings were forever moving and with all the natural disasters and wars, life span was short as well. I am not sure but I think that could have been a factor too.... Coming to polyamory, monogamy or polygamy - these are various lifestyles and what may suit one person may not suit someone else. I think as a society we are obsessed with finding a perfect relationship, for people in monogamous relationship they might enter thinking a relationship is perfect and then when the imperfections rise up, you have two choices either wake up to the reality that life is messy but beautiful and trying to find that perfect relationship only screws your mind. Or else, you could let go of the imperfection you have and try to find perfection in other areas....My take is life is too short to try and live up to other people's expectations, so whatever makes one happy. No matter what a person does, there is always someone somewhere that is going to be pissed off, so as long as one can live with it, one can be happy....
Well, I think we have had an interesting discussion. Particularly I thank all those who could respond without getting unduly irked by this topic. I did expect some kind of support for this concept intellectually speaking. I should not have esp., when I read the many stereo-typed responses to the many problems in marriage raised in this forum. But we all agree we seek happiness through our relationships, presently the most important being an archaic thing called marriage (please allow me my opinion). It's time we stopped flogging the old horse 'marriage'. It has outlived its purpose. But I expected Ilites to come out with atleast alternative suggestions.... (other than the formal much hyped marriage), which unfortunately did not happen. There I go again, I must be naive to have expected that. Some were just defending their weak positions and raising clubs against an imagined devil; which smacks of a medieval attitude. Anyway, to each his/her own. The primary need seems to be that everyone seeks to have that "special someone" of their own - wonderful if it really happens. You can ask for the moon but will you get it? So we need to keep our feet on the ground. This is the age of Wal-mart. Marriage makes little sense to me. One small store round the bend will not meet all your needs.... atleast in today's world. Thank you all, Nandita
Thanks for realizing how naive you were! Wish you were also blessed to be free of all this time-wasting in IL, starting thread on avoiding the spouse headaches. Good luck to reach your utopian level within your sleep with anyone world. Kindly spare the idiots who love to stick to one man/woman.