This makes sense

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by nandita24, Oct 4, 2012.

  1. nandita24

    nandita24 Gold IL'ite

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    This is a wonderful video I found on youtube that perhaps explains many of our marital problems. This is a talk by Christopher Ryan - an American psychologist who objectively discusses issues that haunt relationships with ever so many myths.

    This session was chaired by the ABC's Robyn Williams and was part of the 2011 Festival of Dangerous Ideas at the Sydney Opera House. Robyn Williams is a science journalist and broadcaster, and the host of ABC Radio National's The Science show.

    Christopher Ryan is a psychologist and co -author of New York Times best-seller, "Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality". Christopher contributes to Psychology Today and The Huffington Post.

    Just have a look at this video: Humans are not meant to be Monogamous - Christopher Ryan: If You Want Fidelity, Get a Dog - YouTube till the end.

    Nandita

    Another video http://bit.ly/t4EX4s

    ================================================

    In SEX AT DAWN, renegade researchers Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethá debunk almost everything we “think we know” about sex.

    Ryan and Jethá show how our promiscuous past haunts our current struggles regarding monogamy, sexual orientation, and family dynamics. Some of the themes they explore include:

    • why long-term fidelity can be so difficult for so many;
    • why sexual passion tends to fade even as love deepens;
    • why many middle-aged men risk everything for an affair;
    • why homosexuality persists in the face of standard evolutionary logic; and
    • what the human body reveals about the prehistoric origins of modern sexuality
     
    Last edited: Oct 4, 2012
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  2. nandita24

    nandita24 Gold IL'ite

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  3. Ragini25

    Ragini25 Platinum IL'ite

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    Oh no! Nandita - not again on polygamous!
    You have a crusade against monogamy :( Long live extra marital affairs or no-marriages open-affairs.
     
  4. nandita24

    nandita24 Gold IL'ite

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    Even the speaker in the video does not preach anything. Much less it's my intention. If you have seen the video you will find a scientific explanation to why we have so many tales of woe in this "married life" section. It is only to understand ourselves better.

    The speaker Christopher Ryan is a psychologist and researcher whose books are best sellers. And he has done extensive research. We have to give him due credit. And moreover he is monogamous and his wife is the co-author.

    Also we have to be open minded and be willing to say that we respect other views. It is this very attitude of 'no not any more" that has spawned such misery in relationships.

    Nandita
     
  5. nicegirlradhi

    nicegirlradhi Gold IL'ite

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    Just a question, if husband abuses the wife, should not the wife say "no not anymore"? Or should she accept the abuses with open mind to avoid misery in relationship?

    My opinion is, being open to "EVERYTHING" might sometimes close the doors for some valuable things in life
     
  6. nandita24

    nandita24 Gold IL'ite

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    Your comment is very much out of context. Where a person is oppressed (many posts in this forum) one has to seek a solution to put an end to it. So the situations are different.

    But where it is just someone's view (and it's contrary to your's) should you oppose it? For instance religious views. This smacks of intolerance and a holier-than-thou attitude. . Then that person will also oppose; and s/he has infact an equal right. And this does not get us anywhere. So if you don't like something just skip it.

    Infact this thread addresses this very issue of 'no, not any more' to all the nonsense that goes on in the name of marriage for some couples.

    Nandita
     
  7. justanothergirl

    justanothergirl IL Hall of Fame

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    Nandita...Anyone can write a book,create a utube video/ write a blog. Just because something is printed
    or published /or exists in the www doesnt make the author an authority on the subject. Its surprising how
    low the threshold of barrier is for some of these things.
    May be you should just come right out and say what being in a polygamous/multi partner/open/more than friends/friends with benefits relation has come to mean to you and how you have avoided all the
    dreaded perils of a conventional marriage....instead of preaching what is the "natural way to live" or hiding behind what xyz has said/written...what some tribes in Tokyo/timbaktu practice.
    You would then get more honest feedback.
    My $0.02
     
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  8. fencesitter

    fencesitter Platinum IL'ite

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    My way or the high way approach?!
     
  9. nandita24

    nandita24 Gold IL'ite

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    Yes, I agree with you only that Christopher Ryan is not just about anybody; and particularly in the west it's not all that easy to pass muster without being minutely scrutinized at every level. Secondly marriage is an issue all over the world. The only difference is that the West is relatively free to experiment while we are stuck in the past... and keep whining when things are not to our expectations. I admire the boldness and creativity of the west and no wonder they are world leaders in almost all spheres of life whatever one might say about them. The westerners also tend to be more open and less hypocritical.

    Considering the above factors in general I have regard for Christopher Ryan and his research. However I do not accept any views blindly. For instance I believe any experimentation between the sexes must be ONLY between singles - either before marriage or after divorce. When remaining married I feel that, they have to be absolutely committed for only then it remains a real marriage. Otherwise it is an absolute lack of integrity.

    If a person is unhappy in a marriage s/he must explore all options to solve the problem; perhaps, even experimenting along unconventional lines. This is my view. After all, what should be is not; so why not?

    And Ryan clearly points out why we have marital conflicts. Perhaps it has a lot to do with human nature; and nature will make no exceptions to anyone. I posted these video links just to present an alternate view and also for an understanding why these conflicts take place causing so much misery to everyone concerned.

    As for me I have made a conscious choice in being single, so that I can mingle the way I want. And I am very happy with my choice. I have got very good friends and I would like to see if I can get to the utopian ideal that Ryan suggests at the end of the video. And I am sure it's already a reality in many parts of the western world.

    Nandita
     
  10. nandita24

    nandita24 Gold IL'ite

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    I feel so good and blessed to be free of all this time-wasting in-laws and spouse headaches.
     
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