This is so funny! > > You Don't Have To Own A Cat To Appreciate This One! > > You don't even have to like them! > > > > We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Years Eve Party. We > turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our > pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard. We phoned the local cab > company and requested a taxi. > > > > The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house. The > cat we had put out in the yard scooted back into the house. We didn't > want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the > bird. My wife went out to the taxi, while I went inside to get the > cat. The cat ran upstairs, with me in hot pursuit. > > > > Waiting in the cab, my wife didn't want the driver to know that the > house would be empty for the night. So, she explained to the taxi > driver that I would be out soon, "He's just going upstairs to say > goodbye to my mother." > > > > A few minutes later, I got into the cab. "Sorry I took so long," I > said as we drove away. "That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. I > had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried > to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in > a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her > fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!" > > > > The cab driver hit a parked car...