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this is another competition poem how many can join me here ???

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by sunkan, Feb 18, 2008.

  1. sunkan

    sunkan Gold IL'ite

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    My mind relive those painful moments
    Time has stood still for me
    The rest of the scene has moved
    It has been a year
    This very place had a look of fear
    In my arms withering dear
    <o:p> </o:p>
    The splatter of the rain
    Your thoughts I bring back in vain
    When I lost you in pain
    Now what did I gain
    <o:p> </o:p>
    Will walk to your grave
    My mind is now brave
    Journey ahead will pave
    For you a smile I would save
    <o:p> </o:p>
    Oh! My child you wait for me
    With extended arm I see
    A time will come when I would be free
    Our soul will mingle and freeze
    <o:p> </o:p>
    <o:p> </o:p>
    <o:p> </o:p>
    sunkan...
     
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  2. sunkan

    sunkan Gold IL'ite

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    not a single comment how sad is this poem mm sunkan
     
  3. Anandchitra

    Anandchitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Awesome dear Sundari..so touching..very beautiful..Will definetly win competition..coming in late but i'm catching up and really glad i caught this..keep going woman..
     
  4. MeenLoch

    MeenLoch Silver IL'ite

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    " Time has stood still for me
    The rest of the scene has moved"

    Loved that Ms. Sundari. Frozen time has been well phrased.

    And the last para conveys the meaning of soulmate, at death. Simple and heart warming.
     
  5. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    sunkan,

    Good one. Though not exactly in the same lines.......

    here is my try.hope you approve?


    time is a great healer they say
    I still feel raw inside sometimes
    though it is more than a year
    when you left to places not so near

    The grasses and the plants
    on your grave tell me
    <o:p></o:p>
    times does not wait
    and there is new gain for
    every loss if and only if
    I see in the correct places

    I am learning to smile,
    without starting to cry
    without feeling bad
    while remembering you
    true, time is a great healer
     
  6. srivatsa

    srivatsa New IL'ite

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    hi mam,
    God's gift of forgetting the pain and moving on with times has been very beautifully described.

    Regards
    Sri
     
  7. sunkan

    sunkan Gold IL'ite

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    dear shanthi lovely,
    but i wanted u to use some other theme something different fromwhat i thought, it neednt be the same but something too unique like meeting a friend as u pass through, or may be remembering or waiting for your hubby to come over at the other end of the road and u see him walking towards u with that knowing smile and all,, i still loved the poem
     
  8. ChhayaaN

    ChhayaaN New IL'ite

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    sunkan and shanvy,
    A good use of words both of you that touched my heart sooooooo very much.My mind was flooded with the memories of my lovely daughter i lost three years ago.
    "I AM LEARNING TO SMILE.......'
    How wrong I was. I had thought that i have overcome my grief ,the pain only a mother can feel on losing her child!!!!!
    "MY CHILD YOU WAIT FOR ME............."My thoughts and my feeling ,you have given words to it.Thank you both .I wish good luck to you to win the competition.GOD BLESS YOU.
     
  9. sundarusha

    sundarusha Gold IL'ite

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    I do care
    Let us share

    The bumps and pains
    That life often throws

    Usha
     
  10. sunkan

    sunkan Gold IL'ite

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    thanku chaya and usha it is nice to touch u people's heart with a few words here..sunkan
     

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