Thiruvalluvar – Drinking, Friendship

Thiruvalluvar – Drinking, Friendship​

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Thiruvalluvar, the poet and philosopher of Tamilnadu - <?XML:NAMESPACE PREFIX = ST1 /><ST1:COUNTRY-REGION><ST1LACE>India</ST1LACE></ST1:COUNTRY-REGION> is the everest of Tamil wisdom. Thirukkural, the masterpiece of Thiruvalluvar, which in a mini-work in size, contains 133 chapters on different aspects of life, and each chapter consists of ten couplets. So Thirukkural contains 1330 couplets. Each couplet is called Kural-Venba (KURAL), which is one of the basic metres of Tamil prosody.

Thiruvalluvar, was a great saint around 2000 years ago. He wrote the book “ Kural” , which is so relevant even today. It is the only holy book I have read and liked, easy to the eye and the mind. Along with his verses I love Kabir’s Dohas, and I somehow think Kabir was a reincarnation of Thiruvalluvar, as both said the same things, he in two liners and kabir in 4 liners. Both very practical, and I love them.

The Avoidance of Drunkenness​

Verse 929 – One may as well carry a candle underwater to search for a drowned man as use reason to sober one drowned in drink

Verse 930 – Cannot the Drunkard who sees while he is sober the drunken state of another to realize the shameful degradation of how own drunkenness ?

Well said by the great saint. He must have seen in his days men make merry with drinks, till they puke and talk nonsense, and fall flat on the road, to be carried like a corpse to their homes by other.

I personally feel Drinking is OK, (if you don’t drink, all the more better) if you know to control the drink, and not let the drink control you. For a drinker to say, I don’t drink when I am at home, I just drink at parties, I will assume, either the guy is a miser and doesn’t want to drink with his own money and looking out for ways to drink at someone else’s expense, a freeloader.

Or he does not keep a bottle at home, so that he is not tempted to drink. I feel the best drinker is the person, who has the bottle at home, takes his quota, and keeps the bottle back where it belongs.

I drink everyday, 365 days, and neither I am ashamed or proud of the habit. It is a habit for me, period. I take 2 pegs, 120 ml, measured, and put the bottle back in the bar. And whether Harsha is in town or not, I will only drink that much. And at parties I am very careful that I should not overdrink, so I just stick to beer, even if scotch is being served. Same thing I did at my Daughter’s Sangeet party, where we served scotch to everyone, and I just had Beer , to avoid getting drunk as the father of the Bride. Beer is fine, I enjoy the taste, and it just means a few trips more to the loo, but it never makes me drunk.

But Thiruvalluvar maybe talks about those people who must get drunk, never leave anything in the bottle, puke and create a nuisance. I have seen these creeps, very good people when sober, but lousy and nasty when drunk. They spoil the drinker’s name. Some people drink when someone is paying for it, and they drink like there is no tomorrow. We Mahtani’s know how much to drink, and how to be sober. In face we love to drink at home, when we can drink our limited quota, eat and go to sleep. Parties we don’t look forward to, as the barmen don’t measure and put the whiskey, and when you assume you have had 2 drinks, it could be 4, and you start feeling tipsy. That is why beer suits me fine at parties.

Even Docs say, 2 drinks are good for you, but how many can limit themselves to 2 when the bottle is in front of them ?Hence Thiruvalluvar say don’t drink at all . I agree with the great saint, as most drinkers cant be like Kamalji, who love their drink and hold it too.

Friendship​

Verses 781 to 810
The ones that I liked are these

Verse – 784 – The object of friendship is not merry making but a stern rebuking when friends go astray.

Verse – 787 – To divert a man from wrong, direct him towards the right and share his sorrow in misfortune is friendship

Verse – 794 - Pay any price to possess the friendship of well born men who cannot bear rebuke and blame

Verse – 808 – A strong close friend will not listen to a friend’s faults, and on the day a friend offends, he celebrates his silence.

Verse – 809 – The world will cherish those faithful men who never forsake old unbroken friendships.

Verse – 810 – Even ill wishers will wish them well who never abandon affection for old Friends

These particular verses are very close to my heart. I am a very social person, and right from childhood I have had many friends, and keep adding them. Yes some do fall away along the way, like the old leaves of the tree, and some new ones take their place.

I cherish friends. I never forget a favour done to me, and for which I will keep repaying all my life, even if later on the friend appears to be a pest, when you are more rich and powerful than the friend.

So many have me done me favours when I came to Jaipur. One fellow gave me his scooter for a year , I was broke, look at his heart. We don’t keep in touch a lot these days. But how can I forget this act of kindness of my friend.

Another friend, got us kerosene everyday, there was a severe shortage in the early eighties, when we did not have gas, and Harsha cooked on the stove in Jaipur, while in Mumbai we had gas for ages. Another elderly person helped me get a temporary connection of the phone, when it was impossible to get one.

How can I forget these bonds of friendship. Yes today I may have the upper hand, but I never forget , and will always be grateful to them, and whatever I can do for them today, though the favours are decades old.

Yes friends will rebuke you, and they should. Suppose you are unzipped, and your friend notices it, he should take you aside and tell you, to zip up, rather than keep quiet and let you be the laughing stock of the party. And if you have had a one too many, just take the friend away on some pretext and drop him home, before he makes an ass of himself. Thats friendship.

And I am fortunate that I am making friends even now, and good ones. Subbu is one whom I consider as close as my brother. And another one is Cheeniya, from Chennai 65 years old, rather young I should say. Sri I met the first time in Chennai, and we went out 4 times to restaurants for drinks and dinner, and he did not let me spend .And I was touched when on the last day I came to know he comes from around 30 kms away in an Auto, takes him an hour and a half each way to meet a new friend, and not complain even once, that for once Kamal you come over my way. It was by chance I found out when he was paying the auto fellow 200 bucks, and I thought he lived close by.

And what a warm chap he is Sri .And I thought friends were only made during our younger days ! Thank you Sri and Subbu, you are what the Kural says are real friends.

But I guess money should never be borrowed or taken in Friendship, as one does get late sometimes, and it can spoil a perfect relationship built over the years. So many of my relations have soured because of this factor, and I am fortunate I have been on the giving side. The money does come back , but in bits and pieces, and it leaves a very bad taste later on.

Thank you friends, for your patience in this rather long blog. I hope you liked the verses of Thiruvulluvar, the saint, and I hope you get to read all of them.

KAMAL MAHTANI

 

Dear Viji,

Thanks for the first comment, which is the last in 2 days of posting this.So yrs is a very precious one to me.

thank u for the kind words.Raining in Mumbai ? Regards

kamal

 

Dear Mindi,

Agreed one must not have addictions in life of any kind.

But then again addictions are of many kinds.What means a lot to u, may mean nothing to me.Let me give u an example

I have friends who are found of movies.They go once or twice a week to the theatres.

So they may be watching 60 to 70 movies a year. Some love to have a pepsi a day, icecream etc.

Dont give me a pepsi for 10 years, nor an icecream, and no movie in the theatre, and i am comfortable with that.Try telling to the person not to go for movies, and see his or her reaction.

So a ciggaretter may mean a lot to me, but nothing to u,movies mean a lot to u for example, but nothing to me.

Thats how life is, difficult to drop what u are used to in life.

Thanks.kamal

 

Dear Balajee,

HAHA.you know what. you aer the first fellow i have come across who has a seasonal tummy.I have a universal one, same things all the eyar around.HAHA

Thanks dear.Regards

kamal

 

Dear BeeAmma,

Thank u so much for enjoying this.If u get the time read the previous one on Kural, which i posted recently.This is the second one,the thrid after 15 days otherswise u will get bored and throw me out.:biglaugh

Regards

kamal