1. Have an Interesting Snippet to Share : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice
  2. What can you teach someone online? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice
  3. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice

Thirupathi Balaji Turns Tech Savvy with a DEMAT Account 1601010000384828

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Mirage, Sep 22, 2015.

  1. Mirage

    Mirage Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    77
    Likes Received:
    96
    Trophy Points:
    58
    Gender:
    Male
    Thirupathi Balaji Turns Tech Savvy with a DEMAT Account 1601010000384828

    All of you must be aware that recently the TTD Devasthanam opened a Demat Account in the name of Balaji to help devotees to transfer shares & securities electronically, as a measure to simplify & ease the process of converting physical share certificates to electronic form.

    Balaji convened a high level meeting with his colleagues to discuss and streamline the operations, assign roles, responsibilities and empower them with adequate authorities by creating a DoA – Delegation of Authority.

    So goes the discussion - this is not to hurt anybody's beliefs, do excuse me if it does.

    Balaji: Welcome friends. We have been very complacent with our skill sets and it is time we update and upgrade to be in existence in the coming centuries as well. Now that a Demat Account is opened in my name by our creations, it is advisable to take control of that and operate with our own resources instead of trusting the outsourced TTD employees. Though these people have signed the Conflict of Interest and the Ethical Standards Adherence documents, there are loopholes for them to mess around.

    Lakshmi: Prabu, I admire your proactive approach. As the custodian of wealth, I take full responsibility of the department.

    Balaji: You should present MIS reports on P&L (Profit & Loss) at agreed schedules as the CFO to the board.

    Saraswathi: I second the view and do understand that my department needs to develop the SoP – Standard Operating Procedures to reflect current market requirements and negate future potential risks.

    Balaji: Apart from the SoP, do schedule a training session on Shares, Securities and Mutual Funds too. Educating our folks is imperative and it should be in line with Global Economic Investment Environment.

    Shiva: As a destroyer, what role would I play?

    Balaji: You continue doing your assigned duties but just before the destruction of any company, whose shares we hold – inform in advance the CFO Lakshmi, so that we can liquidate the holdings in time and cut losses or make profits.

    Naradha: Prabu, is there any interesting portfolio that I can use to exhibit my caliber?

    Balaji: Your role is very critical to our success Naradha. If our CFO is short of time to liquidate our holdings, you handle the rumor mill and keep the market guessing for us to gain time and come out safely. Do have a meeting with Harshad Mehta in hell to learn the tricks.

    Brahma: How shall I use my skill of creation to help us succeed?

    Balaji: Create individuals with exceptional talent in investments field and give them a short life span, so that they join us here and help us around.

    Hanuman: Prabu, I would like to play a part too.

    Balaji: You take over the communication portfolio and manage it efficiently.
    The meeting is taking too long and so for today I assign the following individuals their roles and responsibilities.

    Indra: Responsible for timely rain so as to protect our investments in Agricultural sector.

    Agni: Responsible to mitigate fire hazards created by industrialists to burn their companies and seek insurance claims.

    Vayu: Responsible to control the moving changes in economic factors to favor us.
    Indra, Agni & Vayu are the core team members of the Risk Management Committee.

    Saraswathi the Human Resources head will take care of all the educational needs and use the expertise of Arjun to identify targets/companies for investment.
    Abstain from using the services of Karna – he would definitely liquidate our holdings in entirety to the cause of the needy.

    I request all the committee members to prepare a succession plan and put in place a Trust to seamlessly transfer my wealth, when I decide to in favor of Ganesha & Muruga.

    Consult with Ambani and see why he failed to do so that part well which lead to the fall out of his 2 sons. I don’t want that to happen here.

    Lakshmi discuss with Steve Jobs and develop apps for efficient use of our resources.
    Thank you all for the first ever Demat Account meeting and I shall convene the next meeting and advise you along with the DoA Manual.

    In the forthcoming meeting we shall discuss on setting up a consultancy firm to assist Jesus, Allah and the other religions, which will soon follow suit on their devotees moving to electronic forms of donations. The charges for the consultancy would be based on their portfolio value and is negotiable.
     
    8 people like this.
    Loading...

  2. surekhap

    surekhap Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,274
    Likes Received:
    1,040
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    @Mirage its too good to read. a business meeting by balaji :bowdown. well the meeting went very well and it is a great success as he have all the conscientious colleagues to help him around. and also think having some efficient backups teams working from hell and heaven.:rotfl
     
    1 person likes this.
  3. nivsrini

    nivsrini Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    221
    Likes Received:
    82
    Trophy Points:
    68
    Gender:
    Female
    very Nice post :) who knows this is what is happening at the upper part of the present world ? :exactly:
     
    1 person likes this.
  4. twinklingstar

    twinklingstar Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    927
    Likes Received:
    690
    Trophy Points:
    188
    Gender:
    Female
    hahahaha @nivsrini i was also wondering for same question.
    but very nice post mirage. it was funny. i sometime really feel strange how people are mixing devotees love and affection towards god with their own business.
    if we see scenario of past decade it was just pure devotion now a days dont know what all have mixedfaintingsmiley
     
    2 people like this.
  5. nivsrini

    nivsrini Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    221
    Likes Received:
    82
    Trophy Points:
    68
    Gender:
    Female
    :exactly:truly said @ twinklingstar. Even they have mixed feelings with god, our people have not even left our god...
     
    1 person likes this.
  6. surekhap

    surekhap Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,274
    Likes Received:
    1,040
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    2 people like this.
  7. Mirage

    Mirage Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    77
    Likes Received:
    96
    Trophy Points:
    58
    Gender:
    Male
    thank you for the comment and happy that you enjoyed it.
     
    1 person likes this.
  8. brahan

    brahan Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,662
    Likes Received:
    705
    Trophy Points:
    208
    Gender:
    Female
    Very Nice read
     
    1 person likes this.
  9. Mirage

    Mirage Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    77
    Likes Received:
    96
    Trophy Points:
    58
    Gender:
    Male
    true, who knows what's happening up there. thank you for reading.
     
  10. Akanksha1982

    Akanksha1982 IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    3,628
    Likes Received:
    4,976
    Trophy Points:
    308
    Gender:
    Female
    Welcome to the snippets, Mirage. Hilarious meeting of the Lord. Loved reading it.
     
    1 person likes this.

Share This Page