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Things you want to tell your MIL, but can't.

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by monita, Nov 9, 2012.

  1. MalStrom

    MalStrom Platinum IL'ite

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  2. deeprapriya

    deeprapriya Gold IL'ite

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    Such a nice thread... Here are my few instances.... however, many are underway.

    MIL: My DD is the best DIL. She is afraid of her MIL and her DH. She does everything at home.(SIL is working too, her IL's are financially dependent on her and her DH)
    Me: Oh is it???... I thought SIL doesnt even know to make rasam. Her MIL only cooks and packs food for her. Even SIL dresses are washed and folded by her MIL.
    ****************************************************************************************

    MIL: You have to wear saree to office atleast once a week. Wear silk saree on each friday, as friday is auspicious.
    DIL. OMG..... I am working in IT....Wearing Silk saree and going to office... ( I cannot imagine). I am not a teacher like you. :( :(
    *****************************************************************************************
    Once, I saw worms in Chapathi floor. She is the one who prepared the dough. I noticed while making chapathi.

    DIL: Athai, there are many worms...Lets throw this.... I shall prepare a fresh one.
    MIL: Ohh, Give me, lets see... no pa, nothing is there..... If you dont want keep in a box, I shall use....
    DIL: Ohh, Am I blind????.... Prepared new one and ate.

    MIL confirmed that she ate the same one after few days. (Yuck!!!!!)
    *****************************************************************************************

    MIL:Use PONDS and hamam for your DD.(Only PONDS and Hamam soap is the best as it used by her).
    DIL: No way, I have to decide on what to use for my baby....I use Himalaya (which she doesnt like).
    ***************************************************************************************

    Once I made fish fry, and kept. She said, she will not eat NV.

    DIL: You can take Fish pieces for dinner.
    MIL: No Pa, I Dont eat.

    I went to my room and came down. One big piece was mssing. :((am sure). oh you dont eat NV???... when fish became veg food
    *******************************************************************************************

    I had relatives at home and prepared veg briyani and potato fry.SIL and her IL's were invited for lunch. Everyone appreciated the taste.Even SIL's FIL asked her to take the recipe from me. MIL was the last to eat.

    MIL:What is this, you had put too much of salt in briyani. I could not eat.
    DIL: (I was eating). I dont think so athai.
    SIL's MIL: No, Salt and everything was perfect. :) :)
    SIL's DH: Everthing is fine only athai. (After all, he is brother for me relationship wise)
    **********************************************************************************************
    MIL: We were looking for many more girls for my son. but your uncle(Distant relative) came with your horoscope. Hence we considered you. He asked us to get you as my DIL.
    DIL: Oh, is it???.. We never asked any one to start seeing alliances for me. In fact, your son's was the first proposal came to me. I even didnt had the photo taken to initiate the marriage process.

    She is the one came to my house as soon as I returned from onsite.( Imagining, an eagle waiting for its prey!!!)
    ********************************************************************************************
     
  3. kaveriudy

    kaveriudy Senior IL'ite

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    really interesting thread . all the comments are so apt in my case as well ;). what my MIL says to no different mil: my son looks younger than you. me: hello i am 25 and your son has crossed 30 ufffff mil: my DD is prettiest of all. my DIL is so ugly. me: if i am ugly then you are no beauty queen either. ( she got the scariest smile ever )
     
    blessings1010 likes this.
  4. blessings1010

    blessings1010 Gold IL'ite

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    Oh What is this sadistic pleasure MIL's get by calling us ugly? I will never know. In my case, she calls all my khandan beautiful- my sis, mum, aunt, nephew, sis's co-sis, i mean everyone is beautiful including the guys in my family except me. She keeps asking this once every few days- " how come you do not look beautiful like your family?" I often answer " I made a pact with my creator to take every ounce of beauty he had in his mind for me and shower my loved ones with that. When you appreciate them, I feel beautiful myself". Still she does not stop. You can not do anything about it @kaveriudy . Just smile at her next time she tries to put you down. Let her burn inside in that beautiful mind of hers.
     
  5. kaveriudy

    kaveriudy Senior IL'ite

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    thanks for your words of encouragement, when she commented on my looks and mu dressing sense straight on my face i was shocked and surprised ( cant even tell here how bad those words were). that moment i just kept quite. but i was hurt a lot. i mean what kind of person does that. i couldn't take those words and had fight with my hubby( poor guy). mil thinks all the family members from her side are good looking, let me tell you she never miss a chance to comment on the looks of my family members. ahhh everyone used to appreciate the way i dress n look until the day i got married :)
     
  6. vaasukidhan

    vaasukidhan New IL'ite

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    nice thread...
    situation: initial days of Marriage DH asked me for help to prepare a PPT of his project and went out to get marriage certificate, which is very important to get my visa done( I worked for three yrs in IT field then resigned the job due to marriage)

    MIL: how much salary were you getting?
    me: I started for 14,000 over the three years I got frequent rises end up with 35,000
    MIL: even my DD go a job offered salary of 25000, but didnt go since her husband didnt accept
    me: why? what job did she get? why didnt he allow he always runs after me
    MIL: related to computers only
    me: Oh thats nice, your DD is great to get job with out passing +2, there are so many B.E, M.E, MBA graduates are still searching with sarcastic tone
    MIL: ha.. she is very capable

    I was like virtually banging my head to control my mouth, to stop my self from shouting "enough of your lies, shut your mouth, stop comparing me and your daughter"
     
  7. Cutie1991

    Cutie1991 Senior IL'ite

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    Wowww!!!! Very nice topic..I needed to rant :p

    I would firstly tell my MIL that her son is a grown up now and my husband. Stop expecting him to follow you around doing "mommy, mommy". Stop interfering. You had your time and you dictated your terms on everyone around you. Be grateful we are not behaving with you the way you behaved with your in-laws. Stop giving unnecessary suggestions. Before you have a story to tell how great your maternal home is, think about how would you feel if I start doing that in every sentence. For god's sake, you cant even tolerate one sentence of praise for my parents. Shut your mouth up. Stop messing my house. Stop washing dishes because you don't clean them. Stop having some idiotic, unreasonable explanation for everything,.. stop being so self obsessed. Stop thinking you are always right. Stop criticizing people. Stop being judgmental. Stop commenting on people. Everybody has an opinion and you should learn to respect it. Its ok if you don't agree with it but its not your position to say anything.


    MIL: My son is soo intelligent, my son is best among all and that is only because of my hardwork
    Me: Woww!! If you can do soo much with your son, why don't you try spending some time on yourself and improve a bit?

    MIL: I bought this from my mom's house. Even today, I use the things my mom gave me during my marriage. If I dont have something, my mom offers to give it to me.
    Me: Wow! Can I ask your mom to send some self-respect for you? Just because you don't have the self-respect, doesn't mean I don't. I am not going to ask my parents to send things to me. I am a grown-up and me and my husband can take care of our needs.

    MIL: My SIL harasses my mom and brother. Hope you don't do that with me and my son.
    Me: Well I would do it if you keep comparing me to her.

    MIL: XYZ person irritates me soo much when they come that I am not going to ever invite them to my place.
    Me: Other people in the house like XYZ so we should invite them. Thats why we invite you to live with us. If it was only in my hands, I wouldn't invite you over following your logic.

    MIL: We are soo great, our house is soo great, nobody has such a nice house, noone has such a nice view form their house, my son is soo successful, people are jealous of me.
    Me: Ok. Good that God has graced us with everything. Consider that God has been very kind to us, thank him everyday and be modest. Whats the point in making people feel small who are already smaller than you?
     
  8. livingitup

    livingitup Bronze IL'ite

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    Dont say, I wish I had done that...

    like I wish I bought something for you, I should have saved that for you, etc... Do IT. Actions speak louder than words....
     
  9. blessings1010

    blessings1010 Gold IL'ite

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    Now that i am on venting fast this month, there are soooo many things I want to tell my MIL, my mind is bursting with replies. But i am trying hard not to vent. Every time, she comes with yet another remark or taunt me, i say " I forgive you mom". the internal dialogue goes something like this

    1. MIL: what r u making for dinner tonight? I dont like anything you make, let me make dinner
    DIL: Sure mom. ( I forgive you mom)

    2. MIL: You have more gray hair than me and you are still young
    DIL: (Try hard to ) smile ( even harder to say- I forgive you mom)

    3. MIL: why don't you wear sari at work today? you will look a little presentable
    DIL: ( swallowing my pride) may be some other day mom ( i forgive you woman!!)

    4. MIL: You must watch this drama, in it the FIL calls his son " Joru ka gulam" when he listens to his wife. It is so funny. isn't it?
    DIL: ( angry super duper angry.. very very difficult to even fathom the forgiving feeling for this woman)
    SON: ( luckily..oh no wait, not luckily, but to defend his stand) Mom, doesn't aunty ( his Father's sis) call you the same when we visit her? I think i learn it from dad
    MIL: I am not attacking you or your wife son, just telling you a drama story. ( inside irritated because her own son defended himself)
    DIL- ( :cheer::cheer::cheer::cheer: in the kitchen.. Hubby comes inside the kitchen and get a passionate :kissingheart::kissingheart::kissingheart::kissingheart::kissingheart::kissingheart:) after like 30 mins ( I badly want to forgive you- my husband's mother. I am not going to call you mom again)

    learning after a week long fast:
    1. My energy is saved multifold
    2. I can actually look at her and smile in spite of her taunts
    3. DH -- my lovely lovely man is openly defending for me. That's the biggest best bonus of venting fast
    4. I will have many more interesting posts for this thread as the month comes to an end.

    So my lovely ladies, Tune-in again in the future for more fun posts from my side.
     
    Last edited: Aug 12, 2016
  10. Bhanulakshmi

    Bhanulakshmi Bronze IL'ite

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    Ur husbands reply is ultimate
     

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