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Things you want to tell your MIL, but can't.

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by monita, Nov 9, 2012.

  1. SMG

    SMG Junior IL'ite

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    Yes very true. Being happy does annoy mil. If i had a fight with dh she will be pleased about it and if we are getting along well and i seem happy ( i atleast pretend to be happy) that makes her so mad that she limits her conversations with my dh. Right now i have a good mind to bang mil's head.
    Patientone and urenigma like this.
  2. SMG

    SMG Junior IL'ite

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    Oops sorry ladies mymobile has got a mind of its own or i have lost mine. Reply got posted on the wrong page gigglingsmiley
  3. sweetnovember

    sweetnovember New IL'ite

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    Mil: This is how you take off an idli without breaking it (with a demo)
    Me: thanks for the demo because up until now I was feeding your son broken idlis.

    We play rummy every night with the in-laws to kill time. She wins all the time...one night she tells me that people need luck and 'brains' to win. Only if she knew I am finishing my game quickly so that I run away to my bedroom..

    Mil to my husband: I hope 'she' is okay with us using the kitchen and all that
    Husband to Mil: why do you talk like that?? Don't you feel at home? Is this not your house as well??
    I could see happiness oozing out of her face!!!
    Mind voice: Both of you shut up.
    Last edited: Jul 30, 2014
  4. blessings1010

    blessings1010 Gold IL'ite

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    Good one @sweetshreya . Ditto here. My son is more beautiful than you ( whatttttttt? I agree if she says smart/ handsome but beautiful? plssss), my son is more educated than you, my son is more humble than you, my son this..my son that..my son my son my son...and the moment this son enters the room, her other son is more beautiful than her other DIL. Like Marie in everybody loves raymond, she would never appreciate her sons infront of them, but brag about them in front of others. I am soooo loving this thread
    Patientone and sindmani like this.
  5. blessings1010

    blessings1010 Gold IL'ite

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    oh god, I think we have same MIL. All my fav lipsticks, lip glosses and foundations are in her ever-growing make-up bag now
  6. blessings1010

    blessings1010 Gold IL'ite

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    Oh this thread is sooo funny. Ladies, why did this thread not get any love after july 2014? It is so entertaining. I am enjoying thoroughly especially today ( badly need to cheer up and vent out).

    too good a thread to stop reading and start writing here..but ladies, this kind of fun is never enough for us DILs. So here it goes. My thoughts are in brackets- which I avoid expressing verbally to MIL but talk out loudly in my mind. I am free today so the list is long. Ladies grab your fav drink or a snack and hope you all enjoy!
    MIL: I do not like lauki ( bottle gourd). I hated it so much I never even bought it in my life.
    DIL: Oh, don't worry mom. You might just want to eat the one I make. IF not for taste, it is healthy for you ( she is diabetic)
    MIL: (After few minutes into me making lauki vegetable) Oh you should not make lauki like this. You should deep roast it in plain oil and then make it into gravy. It tasts yummy. I love it that way.
    DIL: (all confused) Oh really? I thought you never ate lauki and never made it in your life.
    MIL: I must have forgotten about it
    DIL: ( right? tell me about it) happens mom.


    MIL: When you make tea, it smells weird.
    DIL to DH: honey, is your tea smelling too?
    DH: NO
    DIL looking at MIL: smile and thinks ( I would love to drink ready-made tea if you want to make some)


    When we go out to eat with the family ( most of my family members are non-vegetarian, except me and younger co-sis)
    MIL: OH you poor girls, what will you order tonight? please order something tasty in vegetarian
    DIL: OF course, we will order something tasty and healthy as well
    MIL: I doubt it will be tasty, but yes you can eat your grass. We just dont want to feel bad for you
    DILs: (@!@$#%#$^%$&^%&^ you will not feel as bad as we feel for you)

    MIL: I always limit what I spend on clothes. Why do you need another office outfit?
    DIL: (wait till I open your almirah chock-filled and stuffed with 10000 of saaries)

    MIL: Dear...., do you have your lipgloss in your purse? I forgot to bring mine.
    DIL: Oh sure ( now please keep it to yourself and next time do not ask me for personal items)


    MIL: Oh dear, why don't you pack ( her oil-laden, smelly and tasteless chicken curry) in my son's lunch box?
    DIL: Sure why not ( your son will either give it away / throw it and get carry out from nearby restaurant today)


    MIL: In our times, our MIL used to be so mean and strict (her MIL passed away long before she got married). You girls are lucky
    DI: (are we?) What can i say (I think its just my karma)


    MIL: ( when I am getting ready to go out), why do you take so much time to get ready? why dont you pay attention to my boy- he also needs to get ready ( her definition of help is- i should dress him up)
    DIL: Mom, he is your boy. Why dont you dress him up. ( she got so furious the other day, that she took my bb cream and put all over his face. He got so mad, washed his face and left the house)
    MIL: IF he lets me, I will definitely. Even he needs to look beautiful :confundio1::confundio1::confundio1::confundio1::confundio1:

    On more, on me getting ready

    MIL: I wear only gold. I do not like artificial jewelry.
    (Few minutes into me finding a suitable artificial jewelry to go with my outfit of the day), MIL: Oh this ear ring is so pretty, it will go perfect with my sari. I want to wear it today ( and that ear ring is gone forever from my collection)
    DIL: (I thought you wear only gold. what happened?)

    In the botanical garden, where most of the plants have placards for their names

    MIL: this is wild lily.
    DIL: look mom, the placard says its a daffodil
    MIL: what do they know? I have both daffodils and lily in my home garden ( i have only seen roses)
    DIL: is it? (may be they dont know the difference. Do you want to enlighten them?)

    When we are in the car during summer,
    MIL to SON: please increase the temp ( when it is 90+ outside)
    DIL: (please wear normal cotton clothes if you are hot)
    After sometime,
    MIL: It is too hot inside the car, you car is useless
    DIL to DH: (seriously? ) how about reducing the temp a bit?
    After reducing the temp to everybody's liking
    MIL: I should get my own AC inside the car
    DIL: (why not? just get your own darn car and your own darn weather)
    SON: sets the temp to everybody's liking and hit the music hard


    When we are shopping for clothes,

    MIL: what do you think of this mini-skirt?
    DIL: It is nice. Stylish and good for a college going girl
    MIL: no silly, for me. what do you think about it for me?
    DIL: ( are you insane? ) I think that will be too adventurous
    MIL: I think I will try it on, ( calls her son when she gets out of trial room)
    SON: ( saw her from the other corner of the store and ran outside the store)
    MIL to DIL: please call my son inside the store
    DIL: ( laughing out loud, goes to her son, spends time chit chatting about her new found love for mini clothes, comes back to the trial room) you son does not want to come inside (until you change back into your regular clothes)
    MIL: he likes you in shorts. but for me, he doesn't approve. how mean ( and she goes back to trial room)
    DIL: :smash2::smash2::smash2::smash2::smash2::smash2::smash2: MIL in my mind


    When DH is having a bad backache the whole day and he keeps asking his mom for any remedy. When I wait for her to give her tried and tested remedy for almost whole day and she does not make a move, I book a back massage for DH in a nearby spa.

    MIL to DIL: Why are you spending money on his back massage? I can do it
    DIL: (then why didnt you do it the whole day?)

    DH and DIL wait for another 2 hours and ask mommy. Still no action from her. So I get my back massage rollers and a hot therapy massage pad out for some relief to DH

    Half way when DH is getting massage from me, she runs towards us and screams

    MIL: what are these rollers? they are useless. Let me do it.
    DIL: (ok, then use your magic hands)
    SON to MIL: mom, what are you doing? my back is hurting more.
    MIL to SON: it will take an effect after 2 hours
    DIL: o_Oo_Oo_Oo_O (by that time, spa appointment will come)
    SON to MIL: please let go of my back
    DIL to DH:do you want to rest until the appointment or should i just give hot pad to you?
    SON: both you ladies, please leave me alone. ( looks helplessly at me, I leave him alone, MIL goes back to her room) he asks me to drop at the spa earlier than his appointment time
    MIL: ( after DH comes home feeling better) your wife does not know how to give massage. I should train her and dear ----, you let my son sleep in the bed alone tonight. he needs his space
    DIL: Sure ( and I need my space from you).

    in family function, where she likes to show us off

    MIL: please wear heavy sari and heavy jewelry. My relatives will look at you and judge my son
    DIL: really? ( then give me the heavy jewelry. You bought that for yourselves in my wedding instead of me)
    MIL: when i tell my relatives ( rather lie to them ) that you and my son have a huge house there, just nod.
    DIL:( i am not a monkey to participate in your circus)
    SON to MIL: mom, behave yourself in front of the family
    MIL: I know how to behave ( show-off) in-front of my family
    DIL to DH: do we need to go to this function honey?
    SON: no, absolutely not
    MIL to DIL: look what you did to my son. HE used to be soo obedient and never object to me ( or my lies) before
    DIL: (Yes sure. Now we are both standing up against your lies. how does it feel?)


    when we go visit family and want to go somewhere in the family car

    MIL: we dont need to take our car. lets hire a taxi
    SON to MIL: why? when are you going to use the car? it is not just for display
    MIL: it is my car. only I will sit in it.
    DIL: sure mom, why dont you come by your car? We will come by taxi
    MIL: do you think I am so mean to let you all go by taxi?
    DIL: (i dont think. i know you are mean)
    SON to MIL: good then, i am taking the car out- where is the key mom?
    MIL: I don't know ( I dont want to find out)
    DIL: let us find the car keys
    MIL to DIL: how can you find them if you have never seen them?
    DIL to MIL: OH i thought car keys are more less look alike. I will know one when I see one
    SON to MIL: stop chatting, start finding

    MIL pretends to search the car keys for an hour. meanwhile, i dont get to search family room/ cupboards/ shelves anything because ultimately i do not know how car keys look like

    SON: ( all frustrated) leave it mom, i am calling taxi
    MIL to SON: i told u, taxi is better
    DIL to DH: let us hire a taxi for the time we are here
    MIL: why spend? i will find the keys after i come home? but you need to hire a good driver. you all can not drive well in India anymore
    SON: (rolling his eyes) you will give the car to a driver but not me
    MIL: and your wife
    DIL: ( i know it already %*^&(&)&*))

    when we reach the destination,
    MIL to taxi driver: ( after 5 mins of haggling for the actual reading on the meter) you all drivers need to be punished for adjusting the meter
    Taxi driver to SON: Sir, please clear my bill and let me go

    after son settles the bill,
    MIL to SON: we should have got our own car. These taxi walas are money moochers
    DIL: laughs out loud
    SON: ( keeps quite and squeezes my hand to shut up and not laugh)

    Similar dramas with variations depending on the place we go to, distance from our home to the destination, who all travels with MIL etc..

    At dinner time, when i used to come home late from work in the past

    MIL to DIL: what are you planning for dinner tonight?
    DIL: i dont know mom, let me check what is there to cook
    MIL: I never waited until the last moment and find what is to cook for dinner, my kids always used to have food ready at night
    DIL: ( sure, the same old stale food for 3 days.) mom, you used to be at home whole day. Of course you would have food ready all the time
    MIL: you just need to plan your time wisely, like i do ( she means, she will plan her TV watching time so well that just before I would get freshen up and enter the kitchen, she will pretend to prep for dinner)
    DIL: yes mom, that is one more thing I need to learn from you ( !@#@$#%$^$%&%$*&%^*&@!@#$#%#$^)

    When i start making dinner, she will come and hover over me like a ghost and start giving suggestions on every small thing
    DIL: mom, why don't you continue watching your TV show? Let me cook and get the food for you
    MIL: I dont like anything that you make. I should have made something for myself ( she meant burnt food)
    DIL: ( why didnt you make it woman then? why didnt you?) oh is it? why dont you make your fav dishes from tomorrow before i come home? that way you get to eat the delicious ( burnt) food everyday.
    MIL: but i cant find anything in your kitchen.
    DIL: Oh did you not just re-arrange everything ( the 100th time) in the kitchen last week?
    MIL: did I? see your food makes me forget everything
    DIL: (!@#@$@#%$#% eating stale food for entire life makes a person forgetful)
    MIL: I wish I could make food for everyone, but my son doesnt eat the food i make now. He likes bland green food now.
    DIL: (!@#@$#@%$#^%&%^*^* I think you burn the food ..no wonder he runs away from it) mom, he is just watching his diet
    MIL: you are going to make my son sick one day
    DIL: ( I wish i can do that for you)


    Hope you enjoyed!
  7. blessings1010

    blessings1010 Gold IL'ite

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    oh my god @drnamshara , I fell from my chair laughing hysterically reading your MIL's answers. You do not need to watch any comedy show. Just Tune-In to MIL Drama:roflmao:
    KashmirFlower likes this.
  8. anika987

    anika987 Finest Post Winner

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    Please be more happy than you are.I want a family and my family includes you too.
    Do i like being nuclear?Maybe initially but now I want a family.Not to share sorrows but also joys.
    I will be happy for you and help you to be happy BUT I also want you to be happy for me,appreciative
    and treat me better.

    Thats all
    Bubbles and Amica like this.
  9. Desiindian

    Desiindian Silver IL'ite

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    MIL: I forgot to bring facecream, give me yours , I will apply.
    Me: Atthai, since when you are applying facecream, I have never seen you applying any cream before.
    MIL: Recently started using ..
    Me: Ok, then I will give you fair and lovely cream
    MIL: No No, Give the yellow tube cream,
    Me: That one is sunscreen
    MIL: Fine, I will apply
    Me(last time, tried ponds cream, this time garnier sunscreen....why copying DIL?)
    Athai, Whats your age by june?
    MIL: 58 completing
    Me: Last time, Chiinathai(MIL younger sister) saidshe is 59, so you must 61 corrects?
    MIL: ya ya, I thought you were about asking about the other sister, old age na, getting confused.
    ME: ( How many times same story)....
    KashmirFlower and blessings1010 like this.
  10. blessings1010

    blessings1010 Gold IL'ite

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    Oh my god, that rickshaw incident is so familiar to me. Now when I think of it, I laugh my heart out. Good one @pkamaths

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