When I was not married I with my friends used to think that once we get married then our h mil kids will be our main topic of discussion then we said no we can't be so boring we will enjoy our life too. But now it seems our life does not really exist. Let's leave all our tension and struggle for a while and think about those days when we were single. What were the things we liked to do? Like I liked that I can anytime go out with friends without worrying about anything. Talking for long time on phone To do the shopping when I want to. Without any need and worry about the budget. And Learned kathak and just informed my parents about my wish. There was no need to take their permission. Liked to eat fresh cooked food made by mom. What you lovely ladies liked to do and miss that now?
I so agree with you. Life after marriage changes things drastically. 1. Meeting new people - nowadays I have to evaluate if they can be a "couple" or "family" friend or not, which limits the time I have to develop a good friendship. People who may not sync up with my husband get tossed in back burner, because I don't have that much free time to chat. 2. Food - if I don't cook, there's no food for everyone. I miss just eating cereal for dinner when I am super lazy. 3. Extracurricular activities - I used to have crafty hobbies that I could actually get involved socially. Nowadays, I craft at stolen moments throughout the week 4. Movies - must look for a family movie or Tamil movie for common enjoyment. Somehow hubby can't stand watching Hollywood or international movies. 5. Weekend cultural activities - I love art museums and natural history museums... sadly I have to compromise on visiting them during trips.
Yes, miss those days. Endless enjoyment, fewer responsibilities, fun... Now can't think of spending a few hours by myself.
Think the difference is the level of responsibilities that we had then n what we have now. We didn't bother then because our moms n dads were busy doing all the work. But now it's our turn so we goto do the work n struggle to find ways to enjoy too. So I only miss the lack of responsibilities I guess. Because now I goto plan everything as I have the responsibility to run my house, plan our future, n all the blah blahs. Even a simple lunch out with friends means planning the timing to be back home before my kid reaches home from school. I keep working to find the balance between being a 'family running' mom n also being myself everyday. Initial few years, I did struggle a lot to find the balance, n lost myself, but as each year passes, I can feel it getting better as i realise the importance of some "me time" n having my individuality. And I am taking the initiative seriously.
Waking up late without worry, sleeping with peace which now with looking at kids all night, bathing for an hour, going to parlour which now most of the time is a quick visit that also many times mil calls with the info come fast your baby is crying. Even if they are sleeping can't go out as if they wake up will cry for mother. Movies very rare once in a year now that was minimum twice a month earlier.
Interesting topic Monika! For me, the biggest things have been: - Food and cooking. I'm vegetarian and he is not, so I've learned to make a few dishes that I wouldn't make for myself. I'm not much of an eater (I only eat twice a day) and when I was single, I liked to mostly eat salad, yoghurt, hummus and veggies or simple things of that nature and didn't spend a ton of time cooking for myself. Also, as @BhumiBabe mentioned, being able to eat cereal or a fruit when feeling too lazy to cook! - Socializing and going out with friends. Before, I quite liked going out and doing things with my friends, even if it was just chilling over coffee. Although he is sociable, it's not to the same extent as myself, so he's not always up to go out with people. I still see my friends but not as much as before.
Thanks @Nylaa Good to hear everyone here. So many things came up to us to take care of. Still in every women a hidden girl is always there. We can just give a moment to think about her then again back to present normal life with all the issues waiting for us.
So sweet of you. You took everything with so much of ease without feeling the burden. Missing parents is the thing we can't avoid. Leaving our own parents and trying to adjust with his parents don't know why life want us to do that. Still they don't understand our feeling and pass the judgement with all the things we do. You must be lucky enough if you do not feel so.
Good topic .. I really miss those days ..I too miss the same stuff op as u do and one important thing is sleep in peace but mine is not kid waking it's mil.. Go do things u just like ..even when I r going to meet friends n tell mom loudly coming mom in 15min!!! talk on the phone ..my best was I would ask my friend to narrate the story of hindi lessons for hours since next day would be exam..
