When I want to respond, I like to dig deeper to find more about what is not mentioned or what is said but never picked up by others. I just don't want to bash because everyone else is bashing. I sometimes try to be devils's advocate. I do this to get the whole picture and be objective.
I don't like keeping bindis all the time at home. but had no choice then as mil insisted that i should keep bindi at home for her son's sake. Now I keep bindi only during video call or when I wear ethinic dress.
One upon a time I did certain things to fit into the society around me. Got married traditional way , then tried to fit into the social circle that came post marriage , attend kitty parties , attend poojas blah blah.. I couldn't connect with those women because my mindset was far more liberal but I tried to fit in. . now there is not a single thing I would do ever again if I dont feel like it. I chose who I want to be with , what I want to do with my time.. rather than try to fit in somewhere I dont like I find people and groups who are a natural fit for me and I can be myself.
Occasionally, staggering freethinkers and their modern-day thoughts impress me. Their perspective is contemporary and logical unlike the trite and populist notions of their peers. But these men (in: another forum I participate) are alienated by the herd because their learned voice is too unsettling to the uncritical crowd, who are used to platitudes and consent. During those encounters, I aspire to sidle with them, stand up for them, bolster their argument, but am wary of embroiling myself in unnecessary rift. I know that such freethinking voices can never charm the tight-buttoned crowd. I don't stand up for these embattled voices out of self-interest and futility to propagate 'reason' over 'gratification'. I feel bad for these on-the-ropes thinkers faltering to assemble sense in the belligerent and stock dialogues of the jeering opposition. I don't involve myself. (No sane argument could win over cherished idiocy!) I don't like to walk unnoticed on them, yet, I repeat that for the sake of my own well-being to avoid an emerging skirmish.
1. I don’t like wearing mangal sutra (even my husband insist to remove) for sake of society I wear. 2. I don’t like saree as all said. But I wear during function.(I am in USA) 3. I don’t like buy branded stuff but friends easily judge me I am stingy .so I buy handbags for their sake. 4. Always be smiling and be friendly in in laws house just for their shake. 5. Always be modern when I am in India .
I have an untroubled and secured mind. I am not emotionally baffled: not knowing what I want in my life. I don't indulge in the customary anxiety that women of my age and familiarity endure. I am incredibly fallible yet chirpy! But when someone utters..'zamaana is going to rack and ruin' , ' everyone has some or the other problem' , 'life is a Sisyphean burden' ...'modern times are devoid of companionship and genuine affinity' , I pay lip-service to these grave proclamations, 'yes yes ..true true..' without probing much on these anathemas lest my reluctance to indulge people in their finicky grievances could be mistaken as my being a freak or psychopath who is unobvious of the everyday pathos. The dismay and disbelief about life is not something I endorse or vest my reflection in ...but I pretend to lend earful to their insistent grouches about life. "Yes yes ...the whole duniya is zaalim" in my unobtrusive arm-chaired pose. I falsely assure that everyone is beset by prickly stagnation in life. I pretend to be low-spirited (though my brain is always manically excited) about life. I partake in the common hardship. I invent some melancholic retelling about myself just to make them feel good about themselves. I echo their contention about alienated life. I never reveal to them that I would have interpreted the situation differently to their forsaken write-off about their self-inflicted misery.
1. I hate fake people and I always like being genuine but i have to be nice to all the fake people in this world . 2. I hate people so called friends and take every information from me and dont even bother to respond properly when i ask them but i have to fake and talk to them just for society. 3. I hate people who boost so much about themselves but I have to listen to them as there is no other way. 4. I dont like doing much of activities but have to fake that i do lot of activities and I am a very social person. 5. I dont like superficial relationships but have to maintain superficial relationships. 6. Just to be nice with people, some times i keep quiet even if people show attitude to me. 7. I dont like people comparing with me all the time and proving indirectly to me that they are lucky and great. (Obviously i am not lucky at all). 8. I feel like directly saying shut up to people when ever they ask my personal matters but i cant tell them.
The last point..ha ha even I do that Like the extra attention I get but in all honesty..am extremely relaxed and comfortable in my nightie and hair in a tied up bun with zero makeup
Your post is so genuine and absolutely true and I second that!!! Especially point 7...you nailed it!!