[FONT="]30th May 2010 [/FONT] Dear diary, today the day started as usual. Nothing much seems to change and one thing that never change with me is the hunger. I always get up hungry not matter how much I ate last night. My stomach sometimes feel like a pit that never fills and I never fail to get up late. Anyways, as I never fail to feel lazy I got up and made myself hot cup of tea (a big mug), popped two breads in toaster. I stood there admiring the toasted breads dreaming only if I could pat them with little butter. Tiny miny will not hurt, how lovely will they taste but somehow said no. Enjoyed my breakfast. No matter what is there in the breakfast I never fail to enjoy it. House work never fails to suck. No matter how much I try to clean the house it never fails to look dirty, the dishes never fail to pile up in the sink. Anyways with sinking heart I did the cleaning up. Oops time for P to come home. Oh no, I got up so late and now its almost lunch time and I need to make something super quick. Well, just boiled some brown rice and on the other side of the stove, threw some spinach and garlic in a pan, added some paneer pieces, and sauted them. Just added rice and black pepper salt and oregano. Thank god for making Chinese and their food. P arrived as usual, looking tired and hungry as hell (thank god again for making Chinese). This rice never fails to make P happy. I have still to do lots of house work and I am trying to escape it somehow but have to do it anyways. Its early evening now and I am hungry and tired with all the cleaning up. I never fail to feel hungry. Grabbed a lovely big mango and had it. Man I was feeling so terribly hungry. Time to quickly make dinner and then be free for the day. Dear diary I have started eating lentil pancakes with lots of veggies thrown in. They tastes awesome and they kind of fill my stomach well and P loves them too. Had a huge tug a war with the mixie but ended up grinding a fine paste of yellow dhal. Added grated carrots, cucumber, bottle gourd. Made a batter and then the pancakes. Wow that was simple until P suggested it would be lovely to have them with green chutney. P never fails to demand. So made the chutney as well. P made coffee and we both had a pancake and a cup of coffee. Have no idea where the day passed and its late evening. I am already feeling tired. I never fail to feel tired when I have to go to gym. Should I cancel??? I am too tired to move. Got dressed and sat in front of the computer while P watched his serial. Have decided to go and walk on the treadmill anyways. Gym was full packed. Not a machine free. Should I call P and tell him to take me back. Only the terrible stepper is free. No one wants to do the stepper. But now as I am the only one standing doing nothing I will take the stepper. Hmm, its not that bad but damn boring. I told myself to keep moving for 5 minutes. I kept my eyes open for my favorite machines to go free. Yippe someone left the cross trainer and I hung to it as if I was hanging for my life. Mp3 music blasted in my ears and I kept the speed of the cross trainer. Oh hell, time never fails to crawl while working out. Its just 10 minutes and I am still stuck on this cross trainer. Just tuned into the beedi lagaliye number and danced away on the cross trainer. Anyways had to do it for 20 minutes no matter what. Good to see that treadmills are free now. I am sweating like hell. Its so damn hot here even with the AC. I love treadmill, time always pass by easily on this. Today I decided to sweat more. I ran for 3 minutes and then walked and then ran again and then walked. I am totally covered with sweat and dripping now. As if someone has poured water on me. Aaah, exercise never fails to make me feel good. Time for lat pull downs, aductor and less press. I wish that the fat of my back will go away soon with pull downs. P came to pick me up after an hour in the gym. I never fail to feel hungry after coming from the gym. Chutney suggestion was great, pancakes did taste wonderful with it. Had lots of water melon too. What a day. Feeling tired and sleepy now. Diary, things never fail. They behave as they are supposed to behave. Its up to me how I look at those things and deal with them. At least I know what they are capable of and accordingly I should plan my game. At the end of the day dairy, I have to answer the question “Did I fail today” and dear dairy just before closing my eyes I realized that I did not. Good night diary will write to you soon.