1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

They are Elders.........So what????

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Proud_indian, Feb 26, 2010.

  1. guesshoo

    guesshoo IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    2,786
    Likes Received:
    7,303
    Trophy Points:
    408
    Gender:
    Female
    Cool Bubai! :cool2: Actually, it's awesome :) :)

    Your husband sounds like a great person.

    Proud, I really hope everything works out well for you.
     
  2. shrutidunwoody

    shrutidunwoody Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    374
    Likes Received:
    42
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi Proud indian

    Dont think much about your inlaws and disturb yourself because the more you think the more you will feel depressed. Instead just be happy with your husband and son.

    bubai and guesshoo, i really liked your both attitude. I was really laughing reading some statements of you both. In todays time , its really necessary to fight back instead of just keeping quiet and crying. Keep it up.:thumbsup
     
  3. bubai

    bubai Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    232
    Likes Received:
    524
    Trophy Points:
    173
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi Guesshoo/Shruti,

    You know it all depends how your in-laws are....My in-laws are not the BEST but they are not the WORST also. I don't think I have come to a point where I have to stop talking to them. But I refuse to take crap from them and I let them know that very nicely.

    But see every family is different. If I were in Proud_Indian's shoes, I would have stopped any communication/interaction with the in-laws totally....I mean it......no cooking, no staying under the same roof, absolutely nothing. There is only so much we can take.

    At the end of the day, we are human beings and SELF-RESPECT and DIGNITY are very important. Don't let anyone get away with that.

    If they are mean and selfish, fine.....just forget about them and move on with your life. I understand when a wife expects the husband to stand up for her....but what will she do if he doesn't? Stand up for yourself. Tell them to stop talking/doing nonsense. If they don't respect you, just ignore them and move on.
     
  4. Proud_indian

    Proud_indian New IL'ite

    Messages:
    41
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    6
    Gender:
    Female
    Nandhashyam,
    Yes, Ofcourse, and I dont deny it forever. But they shouldn't become devils for me.
     
  5. Proud_indian

    Proud_indian New IL'ite

    Messages:
    41
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    6
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi guess,
    I hope it does work out, but I am really scared about my step of ignoring inlaws.
     
  6. Proud_indian

    Proud_indian New IL'ite

    Messages:
    41
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    6
    Gender:
    Female
    Bubai,
    Though I stopped communication/interaction. But I need to take care of them because I want my hubby. He is okay to serve his parents wihout any interaction from my side.
     
  7. kelly1966

    kelly1966 Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,798
    Likes Received:
    1,534
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi Proud...
    I'm in the same boat... but my FIL was a gem.. he passed away 1 1/2 yr back and have to deal with MIL tantrums / lies/ deception and bad behavior on her visits...
    after all these years I've reached a stage of NO MORE....
    My DH can deal / pamper / console his mom as much as he wants and though he would expect that from me I do whatever i can in my limits....
    Dh feels always respect elders and I feel ... so what???
    K
     
  8. malligashivaram

    malligashivaram Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    3,677
    Likes Received:
    206
    Trophy Points:
    160
    Gender:
    Female
    DEAR PRO---Sorry to hear of the indifferences in your family ,being relative, it must have started on some foul note, which some woman never seem to forget,it is mostly jewelry or some silly issues, --------now both are behaving indifferently to each other -----how many brothers and sisters does your hubby have? on this depends everything if more they will come and go and intice the already blazing flame,--since MIL is working she may not be so lovey dovey type some i know just do house work and look after husband and children out of necessity---you see all finger are not same, but this does not mean there is no love in fact there will be more running deep and not spoken or shown openly.It is understood and no false show,
    But in girls family we usually have more show of love between mama and daughter it is so mutual, it is as if we survive for the other---so more love it open and cherished---no bond is so strong, .you have a son you will see that the love will run deep but the cajoling, touching, and hugging will get lesser and lesser as they age, the children.
    Your MIL will be an older lady with less stamina than you two, and she is afraid to show love,so that you may dump looking after your child to them in there, not so healthy days,and she has to reserve her strength for her house and her work and husband,------------I personally think we should bring up our child ourselves and not depend on others,--------now you can leave your boy at creche and soon he will be at school, this is life
    In fact i think that you handled it well and all is well, give yourself some ----some more time it usually takes 7 years for it to fall into place, and till now you have done so well-------do not worry and congratulate yourself, make your husband look after the child more when they are around soon they will involve themselves too, they are your relative not enemies. good luck
     

Share This Page