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The Worst Fear Is The Fear Of Being Found Out

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by sln, Apr 9, 2020.

  1. sln

    sln Finest Post Winner

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    The worst fear is the fear of being found out

    Todays news paper reports:

    “A thirty-eight year old doctor has stopped going to work.Nursing a morbid fear that hospitals are a source of contamination she does not even step out if her room and keeps off every one including her children.Her husband,also a doctor has to go through the rites of cleanliness including washing currency notes on her insistence.Another 19 year old girl washes her hand a minimum of hundred times.She fears that difficulties may arise out of her hand. Even normal cold leads to suspicion of Corona Virus and in quite a few cases has resulted in OCD[obsessive compulsive disorder]

    This news report prompted me to analyse the types of fear we go through in our life time.

    All of us have fear of something or other. This is based on how we were brought up,our own experience,what happens in the world and our imagination.

    Krishnan is afraid of heights,feels giddy while looking down from the terrace.Cervical spondylytes adds to his problem.Acrophobia is an extreme or irrational fear of heights.

    Fear of over speeding and accidents-Chandran is afraid of travelling by road on highways.The reason-his car overturned and hit a tree when his driver tried to overtake a bullock cart which suddenly turned right. His neighbour lost his wife,father and son while returning from a pilgrimage on Madurai Trichy highway.He travels mostly by train and during unavoidable travels by car you can hear him doing back seat driving.

    Murthy is scared of water.During his college days his friends pushed him into the swimming pool.Though friends encircled him no one came to his help and he had to move all parts of his body to come out,to the clapping of his friends. With a proper coach he has learnt swimming but does not venture beyond the swimming pool.

    Many girls ,I have seen are scared of cockroaches,lizards and rats,their admiring companions in the kitchen in independent houses,why now even in the fifth floor apartments. They call it entomophobia Regular pest control and keeping access doors shut helps rats encroachment.

    Fear of flying.the height,you do not know what is happening-you are not under control,,news of overcrossing runway,turbulence,technical fault-returning to base,circling over the airport etc cause this fear. When you are in flight how often you have seen some passengers closing their eyes and not opening them till the flight lands.

    There is then technophobia fearing the gadgets.I have seen people nervous and struggling while taking out money from the ATM.Very often the guard comes to your help.Fear of the smart phones,laptops etc are common fears among seniors. Getting and noting down the OTP from banks is not an enjoyable experience.

    In the earlier days people were scared to get telegrams as they were mostly considered harbinger of bad news.Fear of losing the cellphone and credit card is common and when you go out somebody or other cautions you to take care of them.You are unwell and sample has been given for blood test.You start sweating till the results are made available.

    Fear of Death haunts all as they approach the sunset years of their life.Here again after crossing the mid seventees the fear is about how and not when.The fear of falling down,chest congestion and the threat of being confined in the ICU is real.The fear of being dependent on others even for basic needs is nerve racking.

    For the first time I hear that Bill Clinton engaged in extramarital affair with Monika Lewinsky” was a way of managing his anxieties.”This was his response to a querry in the new documentary series “Hilary”

    Fear changes with age.Coming out successful in the exam leads to getting a job and career growth.Financial security for the rainy day continues throughout till you have a built a nest.Then the anxiety, sometimes fear troubles you over the welfare and performance of children.

    “At the basic level fear guides our fight or flight responses and helps to keep us safe and alive. Fear keeps you alert and take proactive steps.'As you get older, you produce much less adrenaline - the fight or flight hormone - so a lot of phobias diminish. Generally, phobias will probably improve with age, but if your phobia has anything to do with being vulnerable, such as heights or big crowds, it will probably get worse.”

    I have gone through all these fears sometime or other.What do I do? Deep breath,chanting Ohm and relaxing the body right from legs help me.Taking the aisle seat,visualising the happy events that will follow on landing,reading a book or listening to music relaxes the nerves while flying.Drinking fluids and keeping myself hydrated is a big help.I am proactive when I have control but indulge in relaxation techniques when I have no say on what is to happen.

    Thinking positively and counting our blessings compared to the less fortunate keeps up our spirits. ”When fear starts to mount, rather than pushing it away, begin by accepting it. Realize that the more you try to pretend it isn't there, the worse the terror gets” The fear is simply because you are not living with life, You are living in your mind..You don’t need to fear as long as you stop fabricating it”[ Satguru]

    The worst fear is the fear of getting caught as it happened in the case of senior banker getting caught while helping himself to sandwiches in the office canteen and losing the job. Some fear retribution for their indiscretion,earlier in their life but remember that there is no saint without a past and sinner without a future.
     
    Mistt, sindmani, joylokhi and 5 others like this.
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  2. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:That is quite a take on phobia aka fear.
    2. Saint vs sinner both driven by fear.
    3. Fearless ones are probably the just born or the infant.
    4. As a baby in no electricity home, I, in later part of dusk reached for the bulge hollow glass cover on a pedestal lighted wick lamp and dad just arrived when my fingers touched the hot glass-cover.
    • Few years before, I saw a metre long brown chequered-snake at bright noon near compound wall behind flower pots. Just lifted a flower pot a little high and kept it over the snake before it commenced to slither. My neighbour a brave person (when) intoxicated or inebriated a bit, held the snake by its neck and took it for disposal.
    5. My spouse & I fear now escalators. A decade before, I stopped driving. Two decades before my spouse feared riding a pillion with me.

    6. Fear seem to lurk everywhere but civilisations driven to this far by fear and Hope As well.

    7. Ancestors assigned status of God to lightning, thunder, eclipse etc and turned their worshippers . A macabre presentation in movie apocalypto that was shot for Hollywood in jungle of India is a solid picture on the emotion FEAR. So also the movie Two Brothers.



    Kudos for Write up at a time when world gripped & grappled in corana fear. A tour-de-force indeed.
    Regards.
    God blesseth the brave Hanumans.
     
    Balajee likes this.
  3. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    You haven't done anything wrong unless you are caught doing wrong. The fear of being found out is called the guilt complex. Those who get caught are almost those who suffer from the complex. Most of these people are amateurs. Hardened cases generally get away with murder. How many politicians have been convicted and jailed for corruption?
     
  4. sln

    sln Finest Post Winner

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  5. sln

    sln Finest Post Winner

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    Dear Thyagarajan,
    You have added quite a valid list to my long list of fears.I stopped driving after I had a second of vertigo while looking at the rear view mirror.The fear had such an impact that when my son in law wanted me to make an auspicious first drive of his new car I declined.For the last one year have stopped using the escalator. I go on chanting that I will use the escalator till I reach the airport but my knees buckle once I see the escalator.Fear depends on age, our experience and a few things passed on by parents.I can see weird people around me after the corona virus but we cant ridicule them as every one has a different DNA of defence mechanism.
    Regards.SLN
     
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  6. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear SLN Sir,

    Fear and anger are two emotions that drained the human body more than any other emotion. Fear sometimes makes people fight better but most times, it makes a person lose a good state of mind. "There is nothing to fear but fear itself," said Franklin D. Roosevelt. We discussed in our spiritual center last week about the difference between fear of pandemic vs pandemic of fears. Among fears, the most important one is the fear of death. When the Lord of the body shows up with his rope at the doorstep, invariably, most seek help to resist and barely very few feel fulfilled in life to let it go. This frame is not going to last forever despite the best of maintenance. Human beings are entangled with their attachment to everyone and everything around them. Most fears come from our analysis of what had happened or thoughts about the future. Many times, these fears may never materialize.

    We watched the following video as part of learning about fear of pandemic.

     
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  7. sln

    sln Finest Post Winner

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    There is no problem if some one has not done anything wrong and why should such a person have a guilty complex.There are hardened criminal elements in politics who show a V sign when they are put behind bars and they are garlanded when they come out on bail.Romantic liaison among school going children is always under threat of being found out. i had counselled two such children. Where there is no open communication and disproportionate punishment meted out,there is the fear of being found out."What if my parents find out "is a common conversation among adolocents why even adults. A 80 year old friend came to see the movie-102 not out with our group.He was petrified when his wife's friend met him in the theater.He had not told his wife about the movie and the poor gentleman was anxious for the movie to be over so that he could go home and concoct some story before the other lady returns and fulfils her friendly obligation.Regards.SLN
     
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  8. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    @sln
    :hello:The fear of India based DILs beyond in foreign soil is more acute than desi DILs in India. The fear psychosis grips the DILs here or beyond the shores many turn sic and or paranoid.

    2. The fear of MILs & other “ILs“ is no less compared to some dare devil DIL s.
    Strangely there are DHs with genuine fear of their spouse.
    After certain age parents too fear their children.
    3. Similarly a preventive customs officer went for a raid to businessman premises. Businessman in fear arranged CBI same moment raid the house of custom officer’s residence. CBI Officer at the same found his house raided by income tax officials.
    4. This state of affairs depicted exquisitely in “You Said It” in Times Of India cartoon by RK Laxman.
    R. K. Laxman - Wikipedia
    Regards.
     
  9. sln

    sln Finest Post Winner

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    Dear Viswa,
    If you analyse the causes for fear you will find attachment is one of the factors- both to materials and persons-nothing should go wrong with X,Y,Z.The fear of the unknown throttles the seniors.Every time we see a bed ridden person unable to take care of even basic functions seniors get frightened and mull over it for days.I have personally experienced freedom from anxiety by keeping myself mentally active..Deep breathing,meditation are a big help.There are people who can continuously watch movies in TV for hours together.I am not blessed in this respect.
    Regards.SLN
     
  10. Srama

    Srama Finest Post Winner

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    Dear Sln sir,

    we do live with a lot of fears and like V sir @Viswamitra mentioned "there is nothing to fear but fear itself :).

    We have to work our way through these fears. Some fears are rational and some are irrational. Identifying the differences and working on workable fears is important. These days even with complete social distancing, mind can play tricks because of whats going on around us - being careful and not always fearful is important. All of us have different ways to cope and your techniques of breathing exercises and meditation also help. I absolutely love taking an intentional deep breath and letting go. Yoga helps me achieve that fairly easily. And the other thing that helps me is to get up and do something, anything you know as in action put away stuff, clean up something, do some artwork.

    And if the fear is because of making a mistake, accepting that will help us feel so much liberated!
     
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