"The Reality of Equality" by Sudha Narasimhachar

More Power To Your Pen Sudha !

dear sudha,
too bad you got nasty letters from some men for speaking your mind, in sulekha.com. It only shows their narrow mindedness and inability to take a comment. When faced with fact, many men take the easiest mode of response, which is to either hit below the belt or turn illogical and nasty.
lets give such petty minded people The Royal Ignore. Please continue writing your lucid , thought provoking articles. Looking foreward to the next,
vidyasarada

 

Dear Sudha,

i am really gald that i came across your post. It is such a wonderful article....with so much of truth in it. You have analysed all situations and problems women face so correctly and the solutions were also good.
But i still feel we have a long way to go ......what with the women themselves not letting their gender to come up in life. But your article is an eyeopener...and please keep them coming. I am sure there will be many a woman who may feel motivated by reading them and put some things to practise, also there may be many a man who may turn around to appreciate the women in his life!
So keep up with such articles, and do let us know , whenever you have such postings outside IL also!:clap

 

Change, it Will/ it Must

Dear Sudha,

Sorry I took time to read your article, time constraints
A very well written article by you about the present day situation of 'Woman'. Such thoughts keep whirring in most of our (women's) minds, often prodded by certain situations and things we may have experienced, read or seen. You have managed to put them to pen and please keep at it, nevermind the comments of some poor men creatures. I have not yet seen your Sulekha article, but like Vidya and Vidyasarada mention, you need not pay heed to them, they are not worth it. On the other hand, maybe they are the today's men?? Perhaps they need the movement such as 'Men's liberation'?! Their comments may be the result of their own frustrated lives as they may be unable to keep up with the gusty and powerful women they maybe surrounded by in their lives?? Because, today, that IS possible as we are seeing many women excelling in their roles as housewives, company CEOs and so on. The men, Some men, are getting nervous alright!
Sudha, you have described the plight our womenfolk face everywhere. Yet, there is a vast differences in the lives of women living in different countries and is influenced by each society's cultural, religious and educational structure.
Unfortunately, our country is lagging behind even today. At the same time, our country has vast mosaic of culture and religion and what is one woman's happiness maybe the woe of another. Like a well to do, educated woman may find being a working woman a happy situation as compared to a poor woman who has to continue her manual work to upkeep her family. And there are many other thousand examples such as this. All in all, even as we have a space scientist, we have a woman who cannot even sign her name.
The more I think about this topic, the more am I baffled. Like you mention, very often, it is us women who are our own enemy. One cannot deny it. There were discussions in IL about a recent Tamil film Uyir. I was a bit taken aback at the views many expressed there, wanting to 'ban' such movies as the film depicts a sister-in-law's lust for her own younger brother-in-law. I am not condoning this woman's behaviour, but it CAN happen, why not admit to it? Another observation of mine was to Varalotti's little article about the Vaigai river. How a woman, while being rescued from the river floods, lost her sari and hence rather preferred to die than let go of her virtue(??). This is what the general public 'wants' to believe. It is my guess that she could not hold on to the helicopter's rescuing ropes!
I have seen what freedom a woman can 'enjoy' in countries like Germany. Flip side is Germany has a drastic problem in that their population is dwindling very fast. Many do not marry and just live together. They opt not to have kids. A woman is free to do as she wants, no taboos attached. She may live with any number of men, have children out of wedlock etc etc. I have my own friends who have built extensions to their houses, women, all by themselves and with their own hands and muscle power Their husbands were busy with work or had no inclination to do that! These same women looked like mannequins when they entertained and could bake the yummiest of cakes and cookies. But then, are they totally liberated? I never thought so. They had their own set of problems and insecurities.
Hence, I am sometimes really confused as to what this liberation is, what type of liberation it is that we women need today. It defenitely is a state of mind.
Inspite of all our thoughts, I think there is defenitely a big awakening today and atleast in certain strata of societies, we women are catching up. Only, we should be very aware of it and not turn out to be our own enemies.
Thanks for the article and give us more of it.

L, Kamla

 

The Reality of Equality

I am very happy that my IL friends are responding with so much of seriousness. Kamala's detailed response is really very encouraging. Thank you Sudha and all others.

As Kamala says, liberation is quite a tricky word. What do we mean by liberation? It is definitely not a simple definition. Please read my last para of the article. That is what is true liberation. I should never be reminded that I am a woman. Yes. We have a long way to go for that. Even educated women like us face hundreds of problems in our own families. I have written about my own tryst with my mil and how I am now taking care of her, despite her taunts and insults even today. Now, here people will start talking of moral responsibility, duty and so many other things. I may talk of liberation but I dare not shun my duty, even if it hurts me and I hate to do it! Our Indian philosophy of 'as you sow, so you reap' is always there to frighten me psychologically. In the bargain, I will be wasting my entire life. 'Sacrifice' is glorified. I am mentally so well brainwashed that I cannot behave differently, though there are options. My fear of societal anger, my fear of broken family, my fear of earning the children's hatred are all the strengths of my in-laws, who take advantage of my situation fully and get their way out. I think our next generation will have a totally different outlook about these things and will definitely not choose to sacrifice their personal lives. Which is right and which is wrong? God only knows!

Friends interested in reading more of my articles, please go to Sulekha.com and read my blogs under 'narasu'.

Thank you.

Sudha Narasimhachar