The Purpose of Life

rvnachar · Oct 17, 2007

What is depression? What is old age? Of late, I have been pondering over these questions, because I can feel myself losing interest in most of the things in life. Some say it is due to menopause. Maybe! But I am at such a stage in life, when I have very little to look forward to and very little control over the things that happen. Not that all these years, I could change any bit of what happened! But at least I had the cheap satisfaction of being a part of the cause of action.

Life was full and busy as long as my children were around and I had my hands full in the mornings, getting everybody ready for school, college and office and taking care of a busy personal schedule. Then I used to yearn for some personal time and peace at home. Now, I am blessed with a lot of personal time, because my children are away for higher studies. But the quiet atmosphere scares me and I have started thinking too much about the future. Maintaining good health also seems to be a challenge, as some thing or the other keeps nagging me. With half knowledge of dreadful diseases, I get scared with certain symptoms. Of course death is inevitable and it is bound to come, whether I am bold or scared. But painful death is what I dread most. Of late I have been seeing many people suffer from cancer and such other diseases. How will it be to die minute by minute?

Now I realize why Prince Siddharth turned Buddha. Pain, old age and death are really challenges which no man can face boldly, however well-informed or philosophical one may be. Loneliness is something which reminds you of all these. The journey of life is such that just when you feel you have carried out your mundane duties and would like to sit back and relax, you are suddenly left all alone. This loneliness is not what you yearned for, because it comes unplanned. At this age, you meet people of your age or older people and all the discussion most often ends up about health, treatment, doctors, loneliness and the sort. You never get a moment to think anything other than these things. I try my best to divert my attention and read a lot but I am unable to concentrate.

I feel blessed are the teachers and lecturers, who can spend all their time with the younger generation. Life is fun when you have children teeming with good spirits around you. Childhood and youth are what that keep this world moving. I envy young couples going around with their young children and wonder why that stage in my life went past so fast, before I could enjoy every moment of it.

Depression may be this empty feeling. Nothing seems to interest me – not even the best things that I enjoyed earlier. God, help me lead the rest of my life with some interest. This ‘living corpse’ style of living is just too hurting.

Sudha Narasimhachar

Shanvy · Oct 17, 2007

rvnachar said: ↑

What is depression? What is old age? Of late, I have been pondering over these questions, because I can feel myself losing interest in most of the things in life. Some say it is due to menopause. Maybe! But I am at such a stage in life, when I have very little to look forward to and very little control over the things that happen. Not that all these years, I could change any bit of what happened! But at least I had the cheap satisfaction of being a part of the cause of action.

Life was full and busy as long as my children were around and I had my hands full in the mornings, getting everybody ready for school, college and office and taking care of a busy personal schedule. Then I used to yearn for some personal time and peace at home. Now, I am blessed with a lot of personal time, because my children are away for higher studies. But the quiet atmosphere scares me and I have started thinking too much about the future. Maintaining good health also seems to be a challenge, as some thing or the other keeps nagging me. With half knowledge of dreadful diseases, I get scared with certain symptoms. Of course death is inevitable and it is bound to come, whether I am bold or scared. But painful death is what I dread most. Of late I have been seeing many people suffer from cancer and such other diseases. How will it be to die minute by minute?

Now I realize why Prince Siddharth turned Buddha. Pain, old age and death are really challenges which no man can face boldly, however well-informed or philosophical one may be. Loneliness is something which reminds you of all these. The journey of life is such that just when you feel you have carried out your mundane duties and would like to sit back and relax, you are suddenly left all alone. This loneliness is not what you yearned for, because it comes unplanned. At this age, you meet people of your age or older people and all the discussion most often ends up about health, treatment, doctors, loneliness and the sort. You never get a moment to think anything other than these things. I try my best to divert my attention and read a lot but I am unable to concentrate.

I feel blessed are the teachers and lecturers, who can spend all their time with the younger generation. Life is fun when you have children teeming with good spirits around you. Childhood and youth are what that keep this world moving. I envy young couples going around with their young children and wonder why that stage in my life went past so fast, before I could enjoy every moment of it.

Depression may be this empty feeling. Nothing seems to interest me – not even the best things that I enjoyed earlier. God, help me lead the rest of my life with some interest. This ‘living corpse’ style of living is just too hurting.

Sudha Narasimhachar
Click to expand...

Hi sudhamam,

You are feeling empty right now.. but that does not mean you have to think of death and all. i feel since you have too much free time you are not able to adjust to it... But dont use the term "living corpse", i may be younger than you but it is too strong.

From your profile i understand you like chatting, listening to music. you could chat with your friends, listen to soothing music. see the old amol palekars and hrishidah movies.(I too love it).

Infact you could educate all of us financial aspects since you have been in the banking side...:thumbsup Check out the money matters forum....

Yes from this side of the fence...a teachers job looks very green..but you should ask the experiences of the teacher...??

Now that you have so much time, try doing things that you could not do when you were working.....

And dont let self pity and depression hurt you.....

Everybody's life has a purpose....I definitely believe so...

subbutr · Oct 17, 2007

Welcome to Indus world of friends our dear Sudha Narasimhachar, Nice to see you here and your ever fresh thoughts and articles....I have been reading yours in our sulekha blogs too...

Yes Life's journey has a purpose and ultimate surrender to almighty with the contented minds.

We struggle through life, thinking that as long as we're DOING something, everything will be all right.

But it doesn't work that way!

Because all that doing is what causes us to struggle in the first place!

In God’s creation, there is a purpose in everything...

Subbu

rvnachar · Oct 19, 2007

Thank you friends for those soothing advices. I really do not know whether physical health depends on mental health or the vice versa, because when we fall ill, we get very depressed and when we get depressed, our health goes for a toss! The chicken and egg puzzle again! I do have a lot of social contacts and try to do my bit of social service, though it may mean nothing really. Some satisfaction. That's all. Many friends have rightly said we help others with a selfish motive. But such selfishness is much better than being selfish to satisfy our ego and materialistic pleasures. At least somebody really gets some benefit out of our useless lives. It is such a pleasure seeing someone really coming out of difficulties with our contributions (cash or kind or physical). We all have to reach the stage of detached attachment to worldly things, which is not an easy task.

Sudha Narasimhachar

bindunaidu · Oct 21, 2007

dear sudhaji,
i read your posts ' women's liberation', ' kiss and tell' and felt an instant connect...we seem to think alike, share the same beliefs, have similar values..
questions regarding the purpose of life and thoughts about death are frequent visitors of any thinking person, irrespective of age or physical well-being.. it is only when they become constant companions and suck the pleasure out of living that it becomes a matter of concern.
mid-life and an empty nest are known to bring depression. i am sorry to see u in this state. hope your wisdom and your strentgh will bring you out of this phase quickly.
death is such an incomprehensible inevitability....should one lose even a single moment of life thinking about it?

sudhavnarasimhan · Oct 21, 2007

Hi SUdha,

I felt an empathy when i read this post of yours. Me too, going thru thesame phase inlife. I faced the death of myfather too recenty and have been shattered by the knowledge that IT is something which does not wait for you to get ready ! We have to face it and ike you had written my only worry is not falling ILL that i need help from outside....these thoughts plague ma also of late! Also the fact that kids will be away....yeah true about loneliness.....how long can we sit with friends....also they are going thru the same phase like us ...so talk surrounds only illness and family, which again leads to depression.
Also i have learnt that HORMONES do play a role in our feelings......i went thru that phase and i too have started terming it meno pause. And just like u feel taht it will be good to be with younger generation...at least till we can catch up with that spirit. I joined a course where i have youngsters around me...though it made me feel wierd when the teacher was herself younger than me, i felt good attending and learning new things and sharing. Also i feel i should go and work or volunteer in a kindergarten maybe.....it feels good to be with young ones!
So dont worry there are a few on this part of the world also facing the same problem...imagine , i feel the language problem also, and culture difference....but still i think we have to KEEP OUR SPIRITS UP! That is what LIFE is all about isn't it!
But you write so well.....please go on ......i am sure you will be of great help to many.
Also do check out if you can take medicines....they give a feeling of well being......there seems to be a lot, check with gynaec....it will help.....fnally i have realised that nothing is in our hands.....we are led by our Hormones.....ha ha....hilarious when we think that we take credit for whatever happens in our oung age!
Anyway glad to share what was in my mind.....good you started this thread!:thumbsup

Vysan · Oct 22, 2007

Dear SN,

Come on.... You have stated that your children away for higher studies... Your kids are only studying... The are not married and well settled... As a mother you have a huge responsibility... Your kids needs you... I know, how difficult it will be when you dont have your mother around, when you need her most... You cannot talk of living like corpse... Come on... Cheer up...

My son thought me a lesson, which i will never ever forget... Oneday, when I was talking to him, i told I am very sad... His immediate reply was, think of all the happy times you spend with me.... Think about the most happiest thing happened in your life... Then you will become happy... When I heard from him, these statements... I was surprised...

Mental depression will lead to physical ill health... I can vouch for it... When ever I get cold/ pulled muscle or back pain.... My wife will tell me, Vedhoo it is more of physological problem than physical... Realx... I have seen, when you are depressed, even the small pain will be manified by number of times...

Now you have enough time in your hand... You can plan, relax, do exercises and keep your body fit... you can develop hobbies, like reading arts or anything for that matter...
IL is always there... Moreso, you can do lot of social service... You need not have to do great wonders... Just keep talking to 2/3 parents of some of the friends or relatives who are in overses... These people need just somebody to listen to their isssues... My wife does that... They all love her... Their blessing go a long way...

You can do lot of things... All you have to do is look around...

There are people in worst situations.... So relax.....:thumbsup

Sorry, I am not much experienced to give advices... Think of your kids...

Anandchitra · Oct 22, 2007

Dear Sudhaji
Very interesting article. I think that is referred to as the empty nest syndrome. My humble suggestion is to find other interests. That always helps as much as exercise.

bindunaidu · Nov 2, 2007

dear sudhavnarasimhan,

i liked that bit about nothing being in our hands...and being led by hormones
Funny and humbling to realise that happiness, sadness, love, hate and all the soap opera of our lives is the handiwork of a few chemicals..Reminds us not to take life too seriously and just live it for the fun of living it:goodidea:

roopadadia · Nov 2, 2007

Hi Sudha,

Interesting threat that you have started and i am sure many would relate to this.

Its :crazy to know what hormonal changes can do to a person. This is a normal symptom during the menopause phase.

I have seen a lot of people around me going thru this phase...its more severe when the cycle is around. Don't let your mental state take you over as this will lead to physical problems as well. Try to do some pranayam & meditation and cultivate interest in activities that can hold your attention or maybe you can pick up your hobbies and other things which you might have left out because of your busy schedule with nurturing your family.

Think of those people who have no one to turn to in times of need. We are atleast lucky that we are reaching out to 10000 members. Even if 1% responds it is good.

So buck up...keep your spirits high and look forward to an active life.

Warm regards
Roopa.