The poison tree called sibling rivalry

Sri,

I am back here. with a situation from my own home. Friday was too testing on my nerves. DD got a trophy for the maths olympiad, and has got selected for a second round of the science olympiad (state). and son lost his position.

Evening he was crying. and my daughter was really irritated, mom, no body is happy about my achievements... ofcourse i pacified both. i asked my son if you are not feeling bad because she got a prize. he told me categorrically that he is not feeling bad for that but was feeling terrible that he did not get it.

Though i convinced him to try and try again he will also get..he is not convinced. and my daughter though tell her i am happy for you..sh e is not convinced..

Though I say all this i feel confused if i am going in the right track....
how do i tackle this problem.

(It is perennial...if one gets a medal the other does not ....it is more like murphy's law..playing havoc at my parenting....)

 

Dear Sri
:clap for your reply to Shanthi.. Its true that children are sensitive and while we sympathise with one child the other might feel he or she is left out and not being recognised enough. Could be they are closer in age and so more competetive and also like you say both children here are very intelligent.. The parents work seem to be cut out in trying to balance and juggle work , family, kids, relatives, and maybe husbands (?) too..

 

Oh AC,
Shocking is a mild word !Rant
Balance husbands? I think you should use singular here ???
Balancing kids & in the same line, you write balancing husbands !!
Love,
Chithra.

 

Dear Sri,

Thanks for the en lighting reply. I avoid discussing with both at the same time. I usually try to avoid the conflict. Being 3 years apart, they are always having a healthy competition with each other and others.

DD has been the center and apple of the eyes of the grandparents...DS had to always force/demand for attention from grandparents..So he is a little sensitive.

Both of us try to erase that feeling but it still crops with FIL still doing that, differentiation...

I think that is the root cause of this..

I will henceforth have to learn to be more careful. thanks once again...

 

Dear Sri
That was definetly a slip of tonguuee..you know me ..you will agree with me when i sy slip of tungu:thumbsup
Trust people to catch an err instead of appreciating all the "nice" points i make !!

 

Dear Sri
After careful consideration, I :eek have to come to the conclusion:idea (dare I say) that fault lies with GRANDPARENTS Only.. Ofcourse I have used 2 for my observation and study that being Sri and his friend Chithra... so all other grandparents (except my son's ) are exempt from this observation..and conclusion thereof..:tongue

 

Dear AC,
I just want to put on record that both "Sri and his friend Chithra... " are
doting grandparents
as well as
doted grandparents !
Your statement
fault lies with GRANDPARENTS Only
can never be forgiven ! Unless the children are lucky, they will not get such
indulgent but non-spoiling
helping but non-interfering
GPs. You can send mails to Thanu or Kavya for credentials !
No love,
Chithra.