The Philosophy of Life

THE PHILOSOPHY OF LIFE​

Long since I blogged! My life got really busy with so many things which will be of no use if discussed in public. All the time, at the back of my mind, the thought that my intellectual hunger was not being fed kept haunting me. Of course, blogging feeds more of my hunger than serving any other purpose. Even a couple of interested responses serve as bonus and motivate the writer in me.

Over the past couple of months, I am undergoing a lot of emotional turbulence due to various reasons. Problems started raining on me. Nothing is so serious; yet each problem occupies so much space of my life and mind that I am left with no time or energy for anything else, let alone writing and reading. Every minute, I keep thinking of the millions of unfortunate beings, who are not blessed with so many good things that I enjoy and thank God for blessing me with all this. I also wish and hope that my life carries on with problems that I can handle. I feel guilty to request God to rid me of my problems, because immediately I am reminded of all those people who have very serious issues with unthinkable pain.

‘You have been doing good to so many people. Yet, why so many problems?’ When I hear such comments of concern, I do feel pity on myself but then I feel, at least God has been blessing me with issues that I am able to bear though with some emotional strain and also sending angels in different forms to help me out of situations.

I have to acknowledge the contribution of so many good souls around me who whole-heartedly come to my rescue with their physical, mental, psychological and emotional support. I see God in each of them – my mother, my close friends, some of my relatives (who are really not that close in relationship), my maid, my husband and my dear son. It is a paradox that sometimes emotional pain is caused by people who I consider so close to my heart.

Though I do believe in one super power controlling the universe and really do not believe in astrology, the role of planets and other things, of late the way I am facing certain unexpected setbacks in my life, has made me wonder whether all those beliefs are in vain. Otherwise, how come the same words and deeds that were well understood by people close to you seem to backfire and earn their wrath? How come all the deeds that you performed sincerely in the interest of your kith and kin suddenly are seen with a different eye and you become the target of their hatred? I feel like getting into a recluse and in fact my philosophical son advises me to do so and start searching for my inner self rather than wasting my energy in searching for reasons that are leading to all these miseries in my life. However, that is not an easy job.

At such a crucial moment, I will have to bear another big blow – separation of my son, who is flying far away for his further studies. Theoretically, I can write reams on ‘detachment’, ‘soul searching’, ‘love thyself’ and so many other things. But practicing all these things is very tough. Time moves on and I have no choice now. Nothing and nobody waits for anybody. Event after event happens with no prior announcement. Though it all seems that we are planning for so many things in our lives and feel elated when our plan works, the truth is that those plans are really not ours! Destiny has its own design and plan. ‘Do not insult nature or defy nature. Learn to respect creation’, advises my son whenever I suffer self-pity or brood over the past or future. I feel nice that he has been able to grasp so much philosophy of life at such a young age, while at 53, I am unable to practice, though I do understand most of it. ‘Start enjoying your own company and thank God for giving you solitude. Do not seek for external company, since it is not permanent’, says he. I often wonder whether this is the same nagging child,

-who would force us to look for some tiny part of some toy, when we would be in a mad rush to get to our workplace in the morning;
-who would be so fussy to drink his glass of milk in the morning and waste so much of my precious time;
-who could never be at ease in the school as it demanded some discipline- discipline of writing and reading;
-who hates any place that demands certain regulated behaviour; he especially gets irritated if a home is treated as a museum and another institution;
-who can never appreciate the system of education which is mostly exam-oriented.

I am proud that my son has grown into a really mature individual. Of course it pains to realize that he is totally independent and confident, merely because my need in his life has reduced to that extent. And also I feel very hurt when my son is often misunderstood to be an arrogant guy by many, as very few of them can accept that he is now a mature man and he does not talk things out of impulses but after calculated analysis. However, I thank God for making him such a strong individual so that I need not worry about how he is going to manage all alone in a strange place. My misery ends with my solitude. I will really miss him and I dread a life in which I may have to wait for years to meet him in person. Life brings such painful turns. I wish and pray that some miracle takes place and I am able to spend more time with my dear son.

Sudha Narasimhachar