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The Nuances Of Mud Slinging

Discussion in 'Cheeniya's Senile Ramblings' started by Cheeniya, Jan 13, 2008.

  1. Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    I am sure that you would have followed closely the recent elections to Gujarat Assembly. <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:eek:ffice:eek:ffice" /><o:p></o:p>
    This election witnessed the most intense acrimony between the warring political parties. The principal architects of both parties did go overboard with their electioneering. It was a no-holds barred campaign in which mud slinging of the highest order was witnessed. All is quiet now and will surface again when the next election is round the corner.<o:p></o:p>
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    I am not going to talk to you about the Indian politics now. If that subject interests you, you may go and watch Rang De Basanti to get an insight into it. I am instead going to talk to you about what I consider as the most significant feature of the modern electioneering. It is the pure, high quality mud slinging that would make Symonds and Harbajan hang down their heads in shame. The ladies at our municipal taps vying with each other for getting their due share of water would go green with envy at the innovative mud slinging of our politicians. Whereas the water-starved ladies confine themselves to the dubious morals of their adversaries as the prime subject of their mud slinging, the politicians display a reach greater than that of a cross between the mythological Karthaveeryarjuna who had a thousand hands and Adhisesha who had a thousand heads and hence a thousand tongues. <o:p></o:p>
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    The Olympic Games have a motto that exhorts the participants to be "Citius, Altius, Fortius." which in simple English means "Swifter, Higher, Stronger”. In Olympic events, the contestants have a specific parameter. In a running race, for instance, one needs to be just very fast on his feet to be a winner. In a long jump, one has to leap the longest. But in mud slinging, the winner is not decided on a single parameter like in an Olympic event. Mud slinging is sprint, long jump, high jump and shot-put all rolled into one. The mud that you sling has to be heavier, travel faster and reach longer to be really an effective winning stuff. <o:p></o:p>
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    These mud-slinging parameters need to be explained. Heavier, for instance, would mean making wild accusations without bothering to back it up with any documentary evidence. Wodehousians like me would never forget the accusation made by Augustus Fink Nottle against a student, who won a prize in Scripture competition attributing his success, to a clandestine relationship his mother had with the Head Master. Reach longer would mean bringing as many people as possible under the rain of mud that we sling. This is to ensure that the mud slung by us hits not only our sworn adversary but also his entire circle of supporters. Travel faster is the only way to ensure that our mud hits him first even before his mud leaves his hands.<o:p></o:p>
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    You now have a fairly good idea of the nuances of mud slinging. But remember to choose your victim carefully. It is possible that he may not be worth the mud. In that case, you will just end up dirtying your hands. <o:p></o:p>
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  2. Chitvish

    Chitvish Moderator IL Hall of Fame

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    how you could blog on "mud slinging" and that too about the nuances as if it is a great form of art !
    Why go to Gujarat elections? Do we not see it in our own city with all complicated equaions between Sharadkumar, Vijayakant, PMK leader, J Madam etc?
    Politics or otherwise, it has come to stay, I think.Your explanations for "Heavier", "reach longer" and "travel faster" were hilarious.
    It is not the question of whether the person was worth the mud; I think, it is the personal satisfaction of having executed it successfully to one's own target.May be there is some vicarious pleasure in these actions !
    Love,
    Chithra.
     
  3. Vandhana

    Vandhana Silver IL'ite

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    Sri,

    That was too good. Now what are you doing to us poor IL ites..... Hope we never need any training in Mudslinging!!shakehead
    I was thinking, if the Olympics were to ever introduce Mudslinging , then India would win GOLD ( we have lots of practice see with so many elections going on). But then am sure Japan and China will catch up in the next games!!( japan would probably invent a gadget to practice like MSman( mudslinging man??).

    We are now going through the mudslinging session here. All sophisticated and and done to reach really far...... to the remote corners of the earth, never mind if you are not eligible to vote here. But it is yet to get to the really heavy stuff..So hope fully it will get more interesting.
    Good to see you in this section .
     
  4. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    Sri,

    Only you could think about mudslinging as an art/sport. Have you tuned into the TV recently...I get to see some courtesy FIL...the amount of mudslinging in politics is something that need not be mentioned...but the recent trend, you take a program from another channel, and mudslinging on it in your channel for trp.... so here i feel it is becoming a sport.

    Looks like it gives too much pleasure...
    and the art has to perfected that you don't have any remnants of the mud in your hand...or a boomerang effect....
     
  5. Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Chithra
    Everything is an art! At least that should be our approach to anything that we want to practise. When you see a movie like 'The Great Train Robbery', you can see that even stealing is an art.
    Having spent my childhood days in a middle class tenament of Triplicane, I have developed a fascination for mud slinging! Some of them were beyond compare like Ravi Shankar on Sitar!
    Sri
     
  6. Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Vandhana
    You are right about China. They seem to have no other business than dethroning India in every department. I wont be surprised if they already have some new Order like "Shaolin" or "Wudang" or "Ermei." in oral combat too! But I hope that we'll maintain our supremacy in mudslinging as we do in sports like Gilli and Goli!
    Sophistication in mudslinging is a new concept. Maybe it is something like a fusion music!
    I shall watch the development with considerable interest!
    Sri
     
  7. Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Shanthi
    You are absolutely right about the war among the TV channels, particularly between Sun and Kalaignar. I understand that this battle royale has taken the traditional mudslingers by surprise and there is a risk they may eventually get silenced by this technological invasion into the traditional form of mudslinging!
    Sri
     

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