The Myth of Total Honesty in married life!!

Its good to have transparency and honesty between couples but there is nothing like absolute transparency or honesty and nor do I know anyone that practices it at the absolute level. Certain things are better left alone and we all have our own little secrets in some form or fashion.

 

Great topic Priya_Mommy! I am with you too when you say that total honestly in a marriage is overrated.

As Sarajara has said, I refrain from sharing unpleasant / negative feelings towards his family with my DH. It is simply because I can handle such things better by myself. If I see it is fitting, I would let him know a bit on the surface alone.

I have loads of friends who discuss their personal problems with me. I never disclose these to my DH. I can never see myself sharing my phone/ laptop/ mail passwords with him. (And I have friends who share such things with their husbands!!)

A little bit of mystery must make me more intriguing.

 

bit tricky don't you think When you cannot answer it generically as well Got to give your personal examples :mrgreen:

Anyways, I remember this dialogue from a dhanush's movie,

I did not lie...just that I hid the truth

 

I think the day I spend with 100% honesty with him speaking my mind out (about his family members:crazy).. .shall be my last day with him.... and I better get a legal help before even I attempt it.

 

Ladies,
Interesting topic..
When I got married I thought that total honesty in marriage was a good thing. But, after living with my hubby for couple of years, I learnt that it is not true in all situations. Maybe there are marriages where total honesty is present, but in our marraige it was not there from his side..
And he was not able to handle when i was being completly honest with me. Now, after 7 years and a kid, I think maybe not being completly honest is better.. I mean, if that is not possible then I should find me a new guy and a new dad for my son. If I am not willing to do it , then I would have to be mature and ladylike and not tell all things that I feel to him and not expect him to tell everything to me..
We stilla re honest about our day, our job and our feeling towards people. But, as far as our respective families are concerned, we dont talk much about them and keep to ourselves what we feel.. I think we both are happier that way..

 

From day 1 I told my DH everything, he even knows about the guy I used to chat with online.. This was before I met my DH (he says I m too naive to believe everyone is good). Also he told me about a girl he had some problem with during college.

After I talk to my parents on the phone, I tell him everything I talked about... Even about sarees (I think he sometimes wishes I don't tell him everything, but since it's hard to shut me up, he just listens :biglaugh). He tells me everything my ILs talk to him on the phone.

We know each others passwords for all our accounts (Inc emails, banks, IL)

He knows I hate my SIL. He is totally cool with it.

When it comes to my relation with others, I m a very private person, I don't discuss many things even with my parents. But with my DH, there is no such thing as an unexpressed thought.

I can gladly say I have total honesty in my marriage. Thanks to God, I feel blessed. Touchwood!