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The Modern Senior Citizen Woman: Thy Name Is Resilience

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by sln, Jan 6, 2025.

  1. sln

    sln Finest Post Winner

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    The Modern Senior Citizen Woman: Thy Name Is Resilience

    Sitting at home as an "immovable property," I noticed that my daughter in Bangalore and her family had not gone on holiday for over a year. Determined to give them a break—and myself a change of scenery—I persuaded them to take a vacation. Since my health doesn’t allow for long-distance travel, I opted to stay at a guesthouse in a retirement home, just a 40-minute drive from my house.

    Fortunately, I secured accommodation in their guesthouse, typically reserved for visitors of residents. I arranged for an attendant to assist and monitor me during my nine-day stay.

    The retirement home (RH) comprises about 40 fully furnished 1-BHK apartments. Meals, including coffee, are served directly to residents in a hot case. Housekeeping services are provided, and a small yet well-equipped nursing station with an experienced nurse is available. The facility also has tie-ups with two nearby hospitals, each within a 10-kilometer radius.

    Located within a gated community of 900 apartments, the RH benefits from shared amenities like a library, tennis court, cricket ground, and a mini supermarket. The community is lively, with residents of all ages—including toddlers—frequenting the lawns and enjoying the vibrant atmosphere.

    Insights on the Women of the Retirement Home

    Eighteen women of various ages live independently in the RH, compared to only seven single men. The remaining apartments are occupied by couples. Around a dozen women gather every evening to chat, forming a self-help group ready to support one another when needed. In contrast, the men are described as uninteresting and rarely interact. The women, aged between 65 and 92, radiate confidence and resilience.

    The 92-Year-Old Matriarch

    One inspiring resident, a 92-year-old widow, lost her scientist husband several years ago. She also recently mourned the loss of one of her sons, a 70-year-old senior scientist in the USA. Despite being hard of hearing and having dimmed eyesight, she lives independently without an attendant.

    Her advice to me: "Never hand over money or property to children while you're alive." She believes in independence, even in the face of health challenges.

    Lakshmi: Confidence Amidst Challenges

    Lakshmi, in her late sixties, is a retired government servant living off her pension. Although she has significant health issues, she’s fully equipped her apartment and maintains independence. Lakshmi’s relationship with her daughter-in-law is strained, and she avoids living with her daughter to respect their need for space. Her mantra: spend wisely and retain financial control.

    Ganthimathi: Choosing Mental Freedom

    In her early seventies, Ganthimathi lives alone, despite multiple health issues. She feels more relaxed and mentally free living on her own than with her daughters in Singapore and the USA. She has modified her apartment with railings for support and focuses on staying active, walking an hour daily.

    Parvathi: Self-Reliance Over Compromise

    Parvathi, also in her early seventies, lives with a full-time attendant, though her daughter is just an hour away. She chose to move away from her family to avoid friction and maintains her independence with remarkable confidence.

    Meera and Her Unique Arrangement

    Meera, in her late sixties, lives next door to her husband in separate apartments. After 50 years of marriage, she wanted her own space, particularly as her husband’s frequent health-related needs began encroaching on her privacy. Together, they make a devoted and cheerful couple, navigating their twilight years with humour and grace.

    Key Takeaways

    These women defy stereotypes of timid, dependent senior citizens. Instead, they:

    • Assert their independence and refuse to tolerate mistreatment.
    • Manage finances wisely, avoiding premature transfer of wealth to their children.
    • Embrace self-care, prioritizing physical and mental health.
    • Invest in professional help like caregivers when necessary.
    • Find happiness in companionship with like-minded peers.
    Contrary to the belief that senior women are emotionally driven, these women demonstrate resilience, prudence, and unwavering confidence. My stay reinforced the idea that independence and self-reliance are the cornerstones of a fulfilling life, even in old age.
     
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  2. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    Much like Meera, I too want to find a place, even if only for breaks in such a retirement home. Really look forward to a month or two away from the routine, a place where there will be others to interact with. Would be very grateful if you could share the name of the place with me.
     
  3. sln

    sln Finest Post Winner

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    Dear Satchi,
    They don't hire guest houses for short stay unless you are visiting a relative staying there.One BHK which was vacant has also been occupied.There are 3/4 people in the waiting list.However I shall keep a watch and let you know when something is available for a short stay.Let me tell you that it will be a refreshing experience.
    Regards
    SLN
     
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  4. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    That would be great! Thanks a lot!
     
  5. sln

    sln Finest Post Winner

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    Incidentally the group is called Vedaanta senior living.They have facilities at Electronic city,Anekal and two in Coimbatore.You may try and callthem @8448444714.
     
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  6. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    Will do. Thanks a ton.
     
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  7. umaakumar

    umaakumar Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Satchiananda,

    I was looking for some retirement homes for my Dad.
    I visited one called Ramana Maharshi retirement home in Hosur. This is not a high class home. It is suited for middle class. They have temporary stay facility.
    The home is surrounded by greenery and the couple running it are totally dedicated.
    You can lookup the number on the web. I don't have it now

    Regards
    Uma
     
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  8. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    Thanks a lot, Uma. Will check it out.

    Love,
    Satchi
     
  9. sln

    sln Finest Post Winner

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    Thanks for the information.
     
  10. lavani

    lavani Platinum IL'ite

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    hello. what does it mean by short stay. like can a person stay for like 4 months in ayear. my mom wants to experiment this in india. she stays with my brother and comes here too. but wants to live alone also when in india.
     

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