The mil who wants to occupy center stage all the time

Op...if you live with them only for a few months...then I would say ignore and employ the 'stare at wall' technique.....so admired by us all at IL.

If you live with them permanently,then you need to do something.It may not seem like an unbearable issue but if it happens again and again and again with no respite and you know there is no end to it ...then it is like a ticking bomb that will end up in a blast one day.

If she keeps repeating stories....stop her in the first sentence with a smile and tell her...aah...I remember you telling me this one....and then proceed to tell her that story.

Or tell her...yeah...you have told this one....hmmm .....haan I remember and give a genuine smile.

If she interferes when you are talking to your child.....say"maa...ek minute,Iam trying to teach her not to interrupt when others are speaking."


With guest...you will have to find a more tactful way because if she gets offended ,it is likely to backfire.
Like some poster wrote...start a topic she is unlikely to know about....as she kicks in her opinion on it....excuse yourself saying"I'll just get some tea....you carry on with maa...."and leave her in the soup. After sometime she may stop enjoying it.

But do remember,these talkative kinds need to talk...that is the way they are.If she stops talking all the time....she may have to find something else.....or she may become grumpy or depressed.


On a serious note....has she always been repeating herself ...and as frequently? If not...maybe it could be the onset of dementia. Get it checked.

 

Yeah they dnt hv to di cooking cleaning raising kids taking care of husband! She has got an educated maid to do all this so where will her energy go! Loose talks n harrasing dils!! Thry are all grumpy cats!!

 

Mimita, your MIL sound exactly like my mom's very close friend. She talks non-stop, and also loud. The only reason I still love the lady is that she is a very genuine person - never begrudges anybody their good fortune, and never gossips. But yes, if she is around, nobody needs to talk Sometimes my father would ask my mother to bring her along on long trips Just so that he did not have to talk (my father is the silent type)

But sorry about your MIL

 

Its absolutely annoying! What you can do is to break her speech and divert the scene as soon as she starts the talk.

1. Pretend that you are busy thinking something and don't listen.
2. Have a mobile with you whenever she's around. Read an sms or call your mom.
3. Cuddle your baby and start playing with her.
4. Go to the loo.
5. Say, "Just a sec, I want to drink water."
6. Grab your daughter and walk to the balcony saying "Come baby, lets see a big red car (or cutie, sweety, lets go to sleep now. etc..)"
7. "Yes Aunty (or whatever you call your MIL), you have told me so many times about it. Its a really cute incident. Give me a minute while I go and change my daughter's diaper."

Do something like that... Let her know that you have more busy things to do than to listen to non-stop chatter. After a while, she'll understand. Try being tactful yet polite, otherwise she may get offended.

 

Continously talking MIL is a headache, and above that giving suggestions and not letting you talk is another issue.

i would say start proving her wrong on what she talks.Guest ask you a question and she overtakes, tell her no wat you said is wrong, she is asking something else.

 

Omg... u r describing my mil. I used to get up and walk away from her casually...she would follow me. I would lock myself and take refuge in the loo....she would be waiting outside continuing with her topic. I would nod my head to whatever she said without whatever she says seeping into my head..and she would think i was enraptured by her inanities. It was too much...it was not just me but even my friends and relatives from my end of family would comment on how much my mil talks. I think it comes out of loneliness. In my case, my FIL was a indifferent man... did not care about his wife or her feelings and was much of the time spending with his own family and his set of friends and my own husband is a reserved man ..not given to talking much. So maybe my mil puts all her energies to talking to whoever is around... willing or unwilling to listen. Now thankfully I dont live with her, but whenever i visit her, I feel sorry for her and listen to her patiently till my eyes glaze over...

 

My MIL is slightly different.. she keeps talking continuously, to whoever is around (i being there the most of the time) , what she additionally does is that ...she interjects everytime when I and DH talks. For example- say I and DH are talking about an ad in tv, she will immediately come inbetween and start talking all her opinions. Is this alright once or twice when you genuinely have an input ..but she just talks everytime.

even when we are talking about something that she absolutely no clue about - say like one day I and H were watching some physics documentary (I am pretty sure she doesnt have a clue about whats going on) out of nowhere she starts talking about some relative who likes physics and the next story starts there...

my H has cut her politely and impolitely umpteen number of time .. and is now exhausted.

 

Just IGNORE!! The best way to deal the situation I feel. Cz if you say anything to her DH is going to get upset and its going to make things worse (happens to me). what i usually do is mentally think of fav song and play that or something funny that happened to me. And in a way its good that she does all the talking imagine if you have to start a conversation, cz I have nothing at all to talk to her and it gets akward at time....just chill

 

op,

With guests who have come to see you, it can really be a hassle. And if you keep on sitting there and competing to get a word in then it gets even worse. What I do is, I will quietly ask my cousin or friend if they want tea, then just excuse myself from that place. I will take my time and be in kitchen preparing that and let the talkative person go on talking. What happens is, sooner or later, either the talkative person gets tired of talking or the guest gets tired of listening! Then my cousin or friend will excuse themselves and come find me. Then I speak to them.