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The Little Gestures that Couples can Get Away with in a Joint Family

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by yellowmango, Sep 10, 2015.

  1. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    and situational songs are the best communicators.. and we do that often..the volley of songs medley....aww..@parineetha neethu...cheer..
     
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  2. Anvitha

    Anvitha Moderator Staff Member Gold IL'ite

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    wonderful thread and posts yellow mango and others, this is really bringing nice thoughts and positive feelings
     
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  3. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    @mcutiepie i liked this post of yours. the purpose of the thread has been achieved.

    romance and excitement can never fizzle out if you work on the marriage. your relationship with your spouse should not be always affected by the problems involving other relationships.

    what works for me is i try to pick the issues wisely and practically. i also let go of what happened in the past once we have asked for sorry (it was very very difficult initially ) it it should not be a recurring issue in every fight or every argument. it plays spoilsport.

    It would have been very easy to walk out, make issues of everything.. but what is not written by @yellowmango in her posts, is the amount of sacrifice, compromise and tears that she must have shed..patience and a little understanding definitely goes a long way.

    there never are short cuts, and you do succeed in it however hard it is because you are determined to get there..

    never lose your self respect. never lose your peace of mind..never hold grudges against each other. communication holds a key there..
     
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  4. angeldreams

    angeldreams Gold IL'ite

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    Dear friends,

    So much love in this thread...so happy to read that many of us still share that great love in simple gestures.
    Well! my case is different. I know he loves me and he knows that I too love him. But he has never shown any gestures. First I was upset ...but soon I started knowing that he had love in every simple things he did. I feel loved when I see him drinking the tea I made...when licking his hand for the dishes I prepare...I feel loved when he lies down on my lap for watching TV. He always makes me select his shirts, ties...he hardly gets me any gifts..But even if he gets one chocolate from his office, he makes sure that he gives a share to me. Almost all days, my DH and children have pillow fights, or running and chasing around the house. We do our weekly workouts together...While going to park, he pushes me in the swing. Last time I visited park we both played in the seesaw...I really feel the love in him in all this simple gestures..I feel best when we hold each others hands while praying....I love him so much for all the little things he does for me...
     
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  5. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    You are my better twin shanvy....I was about to post this.

    No marriage is a continuous dream.A few bumps and shakes,a few nightmares here and there between the beautiful times.

    Our first anniversary-All husbands were away...the wives would get together in the evenings.This was the time before internet...internet was only on big computers that were kept in sterile rooms away from dust.We used to get weekly mail .

    We were having a pot luck ...when the mail arrived .Everyone got a letter ,except me.This husband of mine had not just forgotten the letter,but also the first anniversary. Every one around had given me cards,I received so many cards from friends and family...except this guy.

    That night,I tore of every card into tiny bits .Couldn't get myself to throw them away ,so kept them in a bowl next to his side on the bed side table.It was there till he came back one month later.


    Another heart break was when I had some medical problem and docs couldn't find much wrong. It was not serious but very painful and debilitating.He could not understand and could not empathize,often telling me it was in my head .It took a year to finally understand what the problem was.After he saw it on paper....he made up for it. Took care of me and my little ones. Cooked for us,dressed them up ,made really perfect plaits ......


    Just a few little bumps of many between the fun times.......some because of him and some( many :hide: )because of me.
    :cheers
     
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  6. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    exactly @yellowmango have celebrated many wedding anniversary without dh and bdays.. no issues part of the game plan..he compensates for those when we are together..not great into celebrating bdays or wedding anniversary, but he has got to send me a dozen red roses for the past few years.. during the 1st year of our marriage did not have much money to do anything..scraped through.

    have handled loads of things alone, when i could have been grateful for his support by my side (talking about physical support..mental/emotional support he is my pillar..) ...

    did have a lot of disappointments, and i assume dh must also be having them..but then the bigger picture is we are happy to be each other's partner in life.

    today he attributes his success in life to his wife, me openly be it his friends, office colleagues or our relatives.
    .but to reach this stage there has been a lot of give and take and letting go..

    You understand the beauty of the shade only when you are walking down a parched desert..
     
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  7. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    angeldreams he has been showing you he loves you, he needs you in more ways than just a few words...enjoy it and i am sure many here would be envying you for this..
     
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  8. BDivya

    BDivya Platinum IL'ite

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    lovely thread n lotas f romance!!!!!!!!hugsmileyenjoy it ladies!!!!!!! consider youselves t b v v v lucky!!!!!!! ATB fr every1...:2thumbsup:
     
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  9. BDivya

    BDivya Platinum IL'ite

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    keep going ladies...
     
  10. sunshine1970

    sunshine1970 Gold IL'ite

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    My husband cooks for me and that is his way of showing his love, and I always compliment his cooking, it makes him feel good, my husband holds my hand in car and at night when we are sleeping, these are the small gestures. I feel truly blessed, but you have to get to know your mate and you get to understand the love he shows in little gestures.
     
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