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The Little Gestures that Couples can Get Away with in a Joint Family

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by yellowmango, Sep 10, 2015.

  1. jayasree66

    jayasree66 New IL'ite

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    Have u read secret book. If not read it once.I think u will get some answer from it.may be positive approach or new approach..........no harm in reading I think..
     
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  2. iamsrihere

    iamsrihere Platinum IL'ite

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    I feed my DH in the kitchen when ILs are in the hall watching TV. The kind of shy smile that he gives is blissful..Happens for only 2-3 mins max..Still worth waiting for such moments.
     
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  3. SadMarried

    SadMarried Silver IL'ite

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    I always dreamt of being married to a guy with whom I could share things like you guys do together. Well may be in next life :(
     
  4. sdiva20

    sdiva20 Platinum IL'ite

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    @pstar- Your IL's are the limit. L share bed arrangement for a couple- full points for creativity.

    I do nominate your IL's for the award of most creativity for keeping son and DIL away from each other's arms and practice celibacy for a month. And this too after a decade of marriage....kneesmiley
     
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  5. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    In my rarely humble opinion, guests practicing brahmachari mode is a courtesy to the hosts. A month is a short time, and it flies.. plus one week would anyway be the time of the lady's monthlies...

    If L-shaped beds and open doors are enough to deter the couple, then, well they deserve the deterrent?
     
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  6. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    :shock:One month of L bedding...my husband will stop applying for leave.
    In laws are not a very loving couple. They have only single sheets,single blankets and single quilts.

    My mil has hinted me a few times that"hum log khulla khulla sote hain"(we like our space while sleeping.).....probably wanting me to let her sonny boy sleep khulla khulla like old times. She would keep two blankets .One bed and blanket would always stay unused.

    One afternoon,even our little ones joined us for a snooze at the foot of the bed. Mil saw us all in one bed and one quilt and went:spin"Doosra bistar khaali pada hai"(the other bed is lying unused.

    Next vacation,we had a double blanket....:yes:
    Seriously @Rihana......vacation sanyaas.....so much time,so little to do....thinkingsmiley

    @SadMarried and BDivya....Keep hope girls .People do change .Sometime they too realize and accept it....may be not openly but in other ways. Cheers .Hope things change for the better. hugsmiley
     
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  7. mcutiepie

    mcutiepie Gold IL'ite

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    @yellowmango: Most amazing part for me is as you have mentioned in some other post that its been 21 years you are married and have daughters in teen age... still i can sense so much romance, excitement in your posts.. like its been a newly wed...

    this attitude of yours has really awaken my sleeping romantic dreams and I have really started working on making our life romantic again...

    also, very well said.. we cannot make everyone happy.. we need to pick our battles and then fight/work on those...
     
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  8. VaniVyas

    VaniVyas Platinum IL'ite

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    When I was pregnant, I just to return from work and sleep soon. Even if my MIL calls me for a tea, I will be too tired to have the same and prefer to sleep. My DH used to return by 10 or 10.30 after work and will silently put on the light and change himself.
    MIL would have already prepared dinner by then. DH will bring a table near the bed and the hot dinner from the kitchen along with cold water filled in our respective bottles. It will be accompanied with sweets/ cakes too at times.
    He will then slowly wake me up for dinner. I used to feel I am so blessed to get this...
    I used to then just get up, have dinner and go back to sleep. While he will help me with keeping the plates and vessels back to kitchen sink. We used to eat in the same plate for nearly 1 and 1/2 years of our married life.
    Then slowly timings changed ....
     
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  9. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    Where was I? How did I miss this wonderful thread????:bangcomp:

    Although we live in a nuclear family all the time, either in laws or mom or some visitors would stay with us forever. So, this would be helpful in so many other ways, but when it comes to romance.... it is always a tricky situation to be in.
    But we are very smart couple. We never let this overtake our romantic days; thus found some creative ways every now and then. My husband is the more tricky and clever person when it comes to romance. But I do gel so well with him, hence we sail quite well.

    Those early days of marriage, when MIL stands near our door at night time, so it was so embarrassing to close the door when it was our bed time. Husband would hit the non-existent cockroach at the door, which will slam the door at MIL's face; hence closed. As planned, both of us will shout as if that cockroach left our room to the main hall where MIL stands. Else, this woman will volunteer to rescue us. :bang

    Then romance starts, while she will be still searching for the cockroaches outside...hugsmiley

    During that times, when she serves our food and stands near the table, it would seem odd to be romantic with the food. So, again husband would send her back and forth to the kitchen asking for hot Dosa and curries, whereas we would feed each other lovingly.

    When I was at my mom's house after my first baby was born, and my MIL didn't allow my husband to visit us (me and kid) citing some astrological reasons, he came there to meet us secretly.
    Unexpectedly on that night FIL came to visit us, and located H's shoes. He then peeked inside our bedroom on the pretext to see his sleeping grand son. H and I slept by tightly hugging each other under a long blanket. The dim room light and poor eye sight of my FIL helped my H then. But that didn't help us from romancing.

    There are so much... but, I will have to attend a meeting in 10 mins.. Will write more later
     
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  10. parineetha

    parineetha IL Hall of Fame

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    Such a beautiful thread YM and the responses are all lovely..Couldn't stop grinning ear to ear reading them.

    I haven’t been in JF but had been long holidaying in parents’ home n IL place. Even on those 10-15 days that we stay, we knew how to fill our ‘love tanks’

    1. Hugs n kisses at doorsteps are not really possible when the whole family is at the entrance to see him off. So we use the staircase and car park for a quick tight hug n kiss.
    At times dad does come till the gates, the moment we could hear him pulling the shoe cabinet for his chappels, we race down the stairs for at least cheek to cheek (can’t risk making a kiss).

    2. I use the chance to get dropped to a nearby super market, friends place/aunts place, saloon, blouse stitching, if nothing at all comes my way…had even said I may need some napkins and found chances to go with him for a bike/car ride. And you know that’s a lovely opportunity for all those ignited souls.

    3. Family is busy with favorite soaps or movies in TV, he’s there in kitchen to pick a bottle of ice water/chocolate bar…hums these lovely song “Raja ko Rani se pyar hogaya” or ‘Ae mere humsafar’ for a dance a small jig at the stove, spatula et all and we chuckle n giggle all alone. The already melting delicious chocolate turns out to be just lick-icious.

    4. We being such a musically inclined family often have sing-along sessions and we sing each other favs just for each other…My most fav song which I love him singing for me is the old classic “unnidam mayangukiren”..awww..I can actually hear his voice ringing in my ears even now. Such singing sessions generally turns to be all love dedications only.

    5. Not to forget the chai get-togethers. Some know how I savor my chai time with him. For those who don’t - This is how it is http://www.indusladies.com/forums/snippets-of-life-non-fiction/263035-lot-happens-over-cup-chai.html

    6. Just small childish expressions, but we both find it just so romantic. I have this habit of placing my dupatta ends/pallu ends on his lap while sitting next him. Sometimes he is busy working or on phone, but it just stays there while I’m quietly seated next to him. Big grins the moments he notices it. Now he’s so much habituated that he pulls and winds it around his wrist while my watch movies together. I know it’s a very small thing, but there’s so much of love behind it.

    While each of us speak different love languages such as (some like Gifting, others love to express thro words, some only when you touch/hold, few want just quality time), learning to speak your partners love language is the best way to keep the ‘love tank’ always full.
    After the first or second year of marriage/ courtship when the initial "tingle" is starting to fade, many couples find a void in their relationship. They may have been expressing love for their partner, but in reality they were speaking a different love language. The best way to fill your partner's love tank is to express love in their love language.
     
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