1. Would you like to join the IL team? See open jobs!
    Dismiss Notice
  2. What can you teach someone online? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice
  3. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice

The Laws of...

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by pebblebeach, Oct 11, 2007.

  1. pebblebeach

    pebblebeach Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    116
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    16
    Gender:
    Female
    [FONT=Courier New, Courier, mono]Law of Mechanical Repair:
    After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or
    you will have to pee.

    Law of the Workshop:
    Any tool, when dropped, will
    roll to the least accessible corner.

    Law of probability:
    The probability of being watched
    is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

    Law of the Telephone:
    When you dial a wrong number,
    you never get a busy signal.

    Law of the Alibi:
    If you tell the boss, you were late
    for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

    Variation Law:
    If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now
    (Works every time)

    Bath Theorem:
    When the body is fully immersed in
    water and covered with soap, the telephone rings.

    Law of Close Encounters:
    The probability of meeting
    someone you know increases when you are with someone with whom you do not want to be seen.

    Law of the Result:
    When you try to prove to someone
    that a machine will not work, it will.

    Law of Biomechanics:
    The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

    Theater Rule:
    At any event, the people whose seats
    are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

    Law of Coffee:
    As soon as you sit down to a cup of
    hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something that will l ast until the coffee is cold.

    Murphy's Law of Lockers:
    If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

    Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets:
    The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich of landing face down on a
    floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

    Law of Location:
    No matter where you go, there you are.

    Law of Logical Argument:
    Anything is possible if you do not know about what you are talking.

    Brown's Law:
    If the shoe fits, it is ugly.

    Oliver's Law:
    A closed mouth gathers no foot.

    Wilson's Law:
    As soon as you find a product that you
    really like, they will stop making it
    [/FONT]
     
    Loading...

Share This Page