[FONT=Courier New, Courier, mono]Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you will have to pee. Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. Law of probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal. Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss, you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire. Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (Works every time) Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water and covered with soap, the telephone rings. Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone with whom you do not want to be seen. Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine will not work, it will. Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach. Theater Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last. Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something that will l ast until the coffee is cold. Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers. Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich of landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug. Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are. Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you do not know about what you are talking. Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it is ugly. Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no foot. Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it [/FONT]
