# The Laws of...

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by pebblebeach, Oct 11, 2007.

1. ### pebblebeachSenior IL'ite

Messages:
116
0
Trophy Points:
16
Gender:
Female
[FONT=Courier New, Courier, mono]Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or
you will have to pee.

Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will
roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of probability:
The probability of being watched
is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of the Telephone:
When you dial a wrong number,
you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi:
If you tell the boss, you were late
for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law:
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now
(Works every time)

Bath Theorem:
When the body is fully immersed in
water and covered with soap, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting
someone you know increases when you are with someone with whom you do not want to be seen.

Law of the Result:
When you try to prove to someone
that a machine will not work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Theater Rule:
At any event, the people whose seats
are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

Law of Coffee:
As soon as you sit down to a cup of
hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something that will l ast until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers:
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets:
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich of landing face down on a
floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Location:
No matter where you go, there you are.

Law of Logical Argument:
Anything is possible if you do not know about what you are talking.

Brown's Law:
If the shoe fits, it is ugly.

Oliver's Law:
A closed mouth gathers no foot.

Wilson's Law:
As soon as you find a product that you
really like, they will stop making it
[/FONT]