The Laws of...

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by pebblebeach, Oct 11, 2007.

  1. pebblebeach

    pebblebeach Senior IL'ite

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    [FONT=Courier New, Courier, mono]Law of Mechanical Repair:
    After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or
    you will have to pee.

    Law of the Workshop:
    Any tool, when dropped, will
    roll to the least accessible corner.

    Law of probability:
    The probability of being watched
    is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

    Law of the Telephone:
    When you dial a wrong number,
    you never get a busy signal.

    Law of the Alibi:
    If you tell the boss, you were late
    for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

    Variation Law:
    If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now
    (Works every time)

    Bath Theorem:
    When the body is fully immersed in
    water and covered with soap, the telephone rings.

    Law of Close Encounters:
    The probability of meeting
    someone you know increases when you are with someone with whom you do not want to be seen.

    Law of the Result:
    When you try to prove to someone
    that a machine will not work, it will.

    Law of Biomechanics:
    The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

    Theater Rule:
    At any event, the people whose seats
    are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

    Law of Coffee:
    As soon as you sit down to a cup of
    hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something that will l ast until the coffee is cold.

    Murphy's Law of Lockers:
    If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

    Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets:
    The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich of landing face down on a
    floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

    Law of Location:
    No matter where you go, there you are.

    Law of Logical Argument:
    Anything is possible if you do not know about what you are talking.

    Brown's Law:
    If the shoe fits, it is ugly.

    Oliver's Law:
    A closed mouth gathers no foot.

    Wilson's Law:
    As soon as you find a product that you
    really like, they will stop making it

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