Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Bubbles25, Sep 18, 2013.
if you don't look at it from a feminist point of view, then you might be able to see it.
How about the feeling of hurt one feels if your husband who chooses to sleep with you otherwise considered you dirty and impure? How do you fix that ? Is there some logical balm for that kind of humiliating hurt?He is not your MIL or your father or any one else. He is one person you have chosen to give your heart ,body and all to.How does one come to terms with such rejection for something that is a part of your being a woman? He chooses you for being a woman and then calls you impure and rejects you for those days which is all about being a woman.
When it is your husband doing this to you....then it is far more than feminism ...no?
He is rejecting you for a few days! period!
let me tell you of what i think regarding this issue in general.
during the time we are menstruating,the menstrual blood which is basically a waste product of the body comes out, therefore i guess we are forbidden to perform religious activites, its the same as doing puja while one is urinating, that's qiet disgusting.
the reason we are forbidden to enter the kitchen is because, during those times bhog was offered to god, and also i think most importantly to give rest to women, during those 3-5 days.
the rest i think is all crap, that you can't touch your husband, or other people in the family.
and i hate it when people, ill treat women during their periods.
my mom used to do that, she refused to eat breakfast made by me.
she used to avoid touching me. once she sat down on a chair on which i had just sat some minutes ago, and realising that cursed herself for doing so. i had had enough after hearing this, i decided not to tell her the next time i get my periods.
after 2 months, we went to the gyneac, just for routine check, and when the gyneac asked me my last period date, my mom said it was 2 months back, and then i interrupted and told the doc the correct date. my mom was shocked i didn't tell her, and i think she got the message, and since then has been a little careful not to make her discrimination very verbal!!!
This happens in our household also when my MIL is around... she insists I don't enter the kitchen, don't sit on the sofa etc etc... crap!!
Earlier I used to be very very irritated ... BUT lately I have started loving it because those are the only 3 days when I get to relax, I don't have to cook, slog in the kitchen. I happily sit in my room and read books, spend all my time with my daughter ... chillax and my poor MIL does all the cooking dawn to dusk.
Trust me!! don't sit here - there, wash hair, sheets towels etc. are too small price to pay for those comfortable 2 days (coz I am back to business on the 3dr day after washing my hair). But all this only when she is around, I miss her when I get my periods in her absence!!gigglingsmiley
let me make it clear, if he doesn't wish to perform puja during her periods, then i think it is his wish, and i think op should respect that.
if he considers her untouchable, or ill treats her during that time then certainly op has the right to rasie her voice against it.
if he doesn't allow her to sleep on the same bed as his, or asks her to eat separately then it is unfair, has op mentioned anything of this sort?
and as far as washing hair is concerned, every woman washes her hair 3-4 days, he hasn't asked her for anything out of the blue.
yes... but the discrimination gets too much... it also very embarassing when all the men come to know about your periods. Its supposed to be very personal and privatedoh1
i agree yellowmango, it would deeply hurt me if my husband considers me dirty or impure during this time.
we expect our partners to be with us throught thick and then, then what to talk of periods?
after all if we don't get our periods, then how will his future generations come into this world?
but i feel we are going a little off track here, op hasn't mentioned that her husband considers her impure or dirty, he just does not wish to perform puja during those days, thats it. we are unnecessariy making assumptions about the husband.
I didn't just mean the OP..surrendersmiley.it was in general about the husbands also thinking like that.I guess I just let the heart rule over rest of me. I guess that is why people like me who have very little patience with stuff like this get the sensible ones.....I got one who gets me a hot water bottle and massages my back(and now does the same for my daughter)...why am I so active on this thread...I should just stop shooting and scoot....:hide: