The Hypocrite

Dear Sri sir
Now this is unbelievable! No not just your clients' behavior but the fact that just yesterday I was talking to an IL friend about how fed up I am of the hypocrisy all around me!
And today I see this thread!

I was choking with anger by the time I reached the end!

What to say about such persons? I felt tears welling up for those hapless women. But little does that man know that his behavior is only distancing him from his own and only they will be there for him till the end.
Who knows sir, one day the lady might just say "enough" and show her full wrath; there is this tamil saying, "Saadhu mirandaal kaadu kollaadhu"...

Unfortunately, most of the hypocrites I have encountered think they are very intelligent and smart, and believe the other person cannot see through them and their shallowness.

 

Your client definitely needs to be evaluated by a practicing psychiatrist. He must have been raised in a extremely hostile and controlled environment that he was reacting in his later part of life with someone else. Mostly the children emulate their parents and it could be his dad who raised him with that attitude. It is difficult for a person to develop that attitude all of a sudden and there should be a deep reason behind such attitude. Again, who would really bell the cat? It would be hard for his wife to even mention that to him considering his temperament.

Honestly, I would only suggest spouses in such controlled environment should revolt with full vigor without hurting themselves. Many times, I come to the conclusion that women are driven by the following factors a) not affect their own family, b) not causing pain to their parents and c) not deviating from cultural standards (feeling the pressure to live with the husband with all his shortcomings). To be honest, all of the above factors are defeated by being a silent spectator to verbal and/or physical and/or emotional abuse by the husband.

No amount of writing or women's liberation movements would help unless the women struck in such environment realize the need to speak for themselves. When they do, the men and women around them should strongly support them instead of asking them to make adjustments. It is general practice for most parents to tell the married daughter to be patient and go back and try to adjust with the husband. This attitude only makes the married daughter to firm up their views not to inform the parents. Only a social awakening could resolve those issues. People used to say in Tamil Nadu that problems relating to in laws would resolve one day or the other as the marriage stays stronger but a problem with a husband would never get resolved for life.

It is very painful to hear about it leave alone visiting them and come out feeling helpless. But, Cheeniya Sir, it is also true that we could only help people who would like to be helped. We can only pray for these helpless women.

Viswa

 

My dear Anna

I think in present days ladies wont tolerate what happened in your Client'shouse. Some are there who are patient and tolerate. One of my friend's husband shouts at his wife when guests are there. There is another friend who is the boss of the house. His wife is all the time in the kitchen only when her husband is at home and the TV is also kept in the kitchen only. He only buys everything for the house and for his daughter's marriage also he did all the shopping. Only for few years she started going out for Bhagavatham classes , now she is no more.

 

Dear Cheeniya sir,

My blood boils when I see such plaques especially the one you mentioned. They make it appear to others as if they are very accommodating, progressive, liberal men. But the private face of such men is quite the opposite of what would like us to believe. Your title is so apt.