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The ever falling actress!

Discussion in 'Cheeniya's Senile Ramblings' started by Cheeniya, Aug 26, 2007.

  1. Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    The Ever Falling Actress!

    When the courier handed over to me a cover that was as big as a banana leaf, my initial reaction was that it must be a wedding invitation from some neorich family. But when I ripped it open, I found an attractive invitation for the launching of some new film of a well-known producer. I wondered how such an invitation could have found its way to my residence since I had never had the pleasure of knowing him personally. To cut the long story short, I decided to attend the function, as I had never attended one such before.


    The function had been arranged in a tastefully decorated wing of a well-known studio in Kodambakkam. It was indeed a star-studded show with all the bigwigs of the show business putting in their presence. It was such a thrilling experience to see all the known faces of the film world in flesh and blood. The pictures of all prosperity-related Hindu gods were there, decked with fresh flowers. The sizes of the pictures were directly proportional to the respective deity’s perceived income generating powers. Thus the picture of Goddess Lakshmi with gold coins pouring out of her hands was the biggest of the lot. The picture of Lord Balaji, the presiding deity of moviemakers, was, of course, the centre of attraction. It was more like a religious function than anything else. Every one connected with filmmaking had about three fourths of their foreheads covered with vermilion or kumkumam, as it’s more commonly known. An unfortunate few bore manfully a dark patch on their foreheads caused by an allergic reaction to some synthetic kumkumam that they had used earlier and they stood as a warning to the budding film personalities who had just been initiated into using the stuff.

    There was a huge bronze lamp with five faces, decorated tastefully with flowers, in the centre of the hall. The whole gathering was waiting for a thespian, who rode the film world like a Colossus in the fifties, to light the lamp. The thespian, true to his reputation, arrived on the dot and was led to the bronze lamp reverentially by the producer. A budding actress, who had been waiting in the wing patiently, walked towards the thespian bearing an ornate candle on a tray full of goodies. Everyone waited with bated breath for the climax of the function and, as she was just a few paces from the thespian, tripped and fell down spilling the contents of the tray all over the floor. I thought that it was a very bad omen and looked at the producer with consternation. But I was quite taken aback to see him beaming. Just then, the thespian cracked a joke and there were peals of laughter instantly. He then whipped out his cigarette lighter and lit the five faces of the lamp.

    I had always been told that the filmmakers were a highly superstitious lot and were very concerned with omen. Their superstition extended its tentacles to every aspect of film making. They would not use certain words in naming their films. The title of the movie would have to contain a certain number of letters. Nobody could sneeze while a film was being launched. If a highly successful Director wore his watch on the right wrist, every Director would do so. In fact, if one could compile an encyclopedia of the superstitious beliefs of filmmakers, its size would be no less than that of the Britannica.

    It was, therefore, really heartening to see everyone, who had assembled at the function, taking it lightly and laughing away the ominous incident that had just happened. I shared my happiness with a stout chap standing next to me and he laughed loudly attracting the attention of everyone around us. He asked me if I was new to such a function and when I answered in the affirmative, he said that he was not surprised at all. Then he went on to explain that a couple of years back, an identical incident happened at the launching of a film at the same studio and all hell broke loose. The producer of the film almost had a heart attack and the Director was in favour of relaunching the film with some changes. The entire gathering supported this view. However, due to certain circumstances beyond his control, the producer decided to go through with it. This decision took everyone by surprise and it was predicted that the film would be a total flop. But the film, when it was released, stunned everyone by turning out to be the biggest box-office hit ever. Since then every function for the launching of a new film had this tripping and falling as the main agenda. I was further informed that there were actresses who could perform this act to a nicety and were in great demand. The best of them, as I was given to understand, had been booked to perform this act at the launch of new films for the next two years!
    I looked around and saw the tripping actress being warmly congratulated by everyone around for her sterling performance. A few producers, with cheque books in their hands, were trying to catch her eyes desperately to book her for the inaugural function of their next movie. The thespian stood in a corner smoking a pensive cigarette!

    PS: Dont ask me any questions about who was the film producer and which was that film etc. It's just my senile rambling and my brand of satire!:-D
     
    Last edited: Jul 20, 2020
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  2. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi sri,

    You have done it again. I have heard of these kind of sentiments. My husband used to say during thier ca exams, most of the guys used to wear the same shirt until the exams are over even without washing. :idontgetit:. Even heard about the sentiments in film productions poojas and all, but u have just brought it out with your own knack of humor.

    But i dont get it, if success was from wearing the same shirt or tripping, would we not be a having a lot of them by now.:mrgreen: (It would be sold as a fool proof way for success or somebody would be writing a book on it and minting money. a nice business idea!!!:tongue . Believe me it would sell like hot cakes as have been seeing people buying books how to.... and the titles range from how to get your child to thnk positive, to how to get your man....:-().

    I have a allergic cold all the time. so sneezing is always there. you should imagine, how difficult it is for me to stop it, during times when it is not expected :oops: (there have been times in the past when my hubby's granma will ask me to sneeze the second time to counter the first sneeze)

    How about you sri, are u sentimental???
     
  3. Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Shanvy
    If I am sentimental about these superstitions, would I write a satire on them?
    Sneezing in odd numbers is considered bad but in even numbers, it is supposed to be good! My uncle used to sneeze always in a big chain lasting at times twenty or thirty. My grandma used to count them each time to make sure it did not end in an odd number! If it did, she would ask him to induce sneezing by putting a thread in his nose but then it would only start another chain of sneezing!
    Sri
     
    1 person likes this.
  4. aishu22

    aishu22 Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Sri,
    There you go! Yet another interesting and humorous piece from u!!!Even i got an oppurtunity to attend a film launch function some years back - i think it was for the movie "ennakku 20, unnakku 18" starring Trisha n a few..My chitappa was invited by the producer of the movie to attend it and i was a kosuru!!

    My god! i learnt one thing, all actress who looked
    Aesthetic & beaming in the movie,looked not anything more than my maid without make up and make over... I got the glimpse of so many the "TOP" actresses that day, but with no interest to look at their no make-over face.

    Nice Post Sri!!
     
    Last edited: Aug 26, 2007
  5. Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Aishu
    We are all used to maids without make-up but you must see them when they go for a function or a movie or something like that! I am sure you will be stunned.
    The other day I went to Sangeetha Restaurant for a cup of coffee and seeing my maid sitting there in some dazzling outfit with her boy friend, i just skipped the coffee and quietly retreated!
    sri
     
  6. Chitvish

    Chitvish Moderator IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Sri,
    I am thanking God for small mercies !
    Your title had the word "ever falling" and not "ever slipping" ! Think of the literal tamil meaning of the latter word !! We would be wondering whether you really intended the pun or we were imagining a "double meaning" ! It might have been correct very often, is besides the point here !
    Superstition does play a big role, more in tinsel world, we know. Remember Late Director Bhimsingh's Pa series movies were very successful - palum pazamum, pasa malar, pava mannippu etc ! They were followed continuously by more Pa first letter movies.
    But your imagination that the starlet, asked for, specially to fall appropriately at the right time is very fertile ! You write that finally, the thespian lit the lamp with the cigarette lighter !
    You have made a "pact with humour", I think ?
    Love,
    Chithra.
     
  7. Tamildownunder

    Tamildownunder Bronze IL'ite

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    Dear Cheeniya,

    Nice hilarious article. When you described that actresses were decked with flowers, I guessed that all the flowers are going to come around our ears.:-D First I thought that the title of the movie is 'vazhuki vizhuntha vanithai' and that is why appropriately the tripping scene was kept.:-D In earlier Tamil movies the title has to be mentioned in the movie and especially in the last scene when all the artists of the movie should get together and tell the title which were considered auspicious.

    Regards,

    TDU
     
  8. Kamla

    Kamla IL Hall of Fame

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    Just you wait, Mr Cheeniya, just you wait ! If this movie becomes a success, I shall let the cat out of the bag...it was your presence at the movie's launch that did it !!:) Now, will you not be flooded with many many more banana leaf sized invitations and maybe even a stretch limo will be sent to your doorstep :) Prior to that, I shall cleverly cash in my percentage of the profits for a precious tip...well, 'survival of the fittest' is the name of the game !:wink:

    You are a laugh riot!

    L, Kamla
     
  9. Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Chithra
    Slipping and falling mean the same thing .Shall we say that men fall and women slip in this context that if a man is enticed by a woman, he falls and if the woman is enticed by a man, she slips?:mrgreen:
    Yes Bhimbhai's Pa series were awesome in those days more because of the mellifluous numbers tuned in by MSV.
    Thanks for the kind word about my humour. If you are prepared to laugh, I'll give you more!:-D
    Sri
     
  10. Cheeniya

    Cheeniya Super Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear TDU
    You seem to have an in depth knowledge about making of the old Tamil films. You have really hit the nail on its head. That title VVV appears too good and I suggest you patent it.
    It's true that the title of the movie has to be mentioned in the last scenes of old movies. In all MGR movies, the opening lines for MGR used to be Vetri, vetri!
    Sri
     

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