The Enigma Of Forgiveness

Reminds me of a Charlie Chaplin Movie -The Kid- abandoned infant by his mother on a street corner near garbage bins with a slip -please take care of this orphan. Charlie happens to passby, returns to the crying child, tries to dump but fails and finally adopts him.
Some five years later his mother, now a rich lady, finds him and all is well.
What if the child as a young man is told about this? Will he forgive her?
Life is too complex.

 

Forgiveness is for our peace not for others, I totally agree blood is thicker than water, I can share my own life lesson here, forgiveness is taught by nature, yes you read it right .Nature taught me to forgive, during my first pregnancy, my inlaws had many issues and I was under tremendous stress, things are also not right between parents and inlaws, parents kept most of things out of my reach becoz of my advanced pregnancy, inlaws used to pick fights, I don't blame any one here and I blame myself or my harmones at that time and age I went to labor premature baby and we lost him. That was worst thing happened to me and I can never forget that day becoz of my stress levels. Doctors found no reason , it was all natural, every thing was fine, randomly went to labor early,when I retrospect I always found stress as reason and some where in heart I used to think that inlaws could have waited to fight till I delivered the baby. but life has to move on later I had delivered a baby and then 5 yrs later when I was in labor for my second delivery my midwife said 5 yrs back I attended you Same day she saw the records, yes you all read it right, Inhad delivered another baby on same day And time 5 yrs later, one day we were crying on that date another day we were in joy, In all these yrs some where in my mind had resentment on my inlaws but nature had taught me lesson, forgive forget move on, now I am more pesceful

 

To forgive you have to be in a position of strength, you have to be too strong to be broken. When you forgive people from that position, you will feel a sense of power, domination, coursing through you. Also the act of forgiveness must be accompanied by a clear cut message that the forgiveness should not be taken as weakness and the forgiven must know that you are in a position of unassailable strength

 

It is an interesting discussion on forgiveness.Shri Viswa,the master of psychology has elaborately dealt with the bliss of forgiveness and categorically stated that forgiveness brings more good and peace of mind to the victim and he attains peace of mind to concentrate on other important things in life rather than brooding about the harm done to him.
As per karma theory,we can accept and forgive.It is ok for small misdeeds like passing hurtful remarks or petty thefts. But can we apply the same rule to greater crimes like rape,murder etc.Then what will happen to judicial system? What will happen to rule of the land which does not depend on individual fear or hesitation to be involved either out of fear or to have some peace of mind? Is it in the interest of the society ? How can we prevent criminals from adhering to frequent crimes if we go on forgiving them ?many people do not lodge complaint because they are afraid of enquiry.They let things go. Criminals who start with simple crimes will land into multilayered crimes if forgiven at the initial level.The victim's psychological satisfaction or saving the community from larger crimes?We have to decide which is more important.
To forgive, you need only controlling your anger and forgetting tit for tat. But to deal with crimes,investigation etc need courage,conviction and the communal interest in mind.If the Govt also has no set of rules and goes on conducting psychology classes on control of mind,theory of forgiveness and the solace the victim receives etc,ultimately the society will be full of terrorists indulging in more heinous crimes expecting forgiveness at all levels leading to chaos and confusions.
I therefore feel that forgiveness etc should be limited to minor crimes like insulting,minor mishandling etc .The bigger crimes have to be dealt with in accordance with law how much ever tension it creates in the mind of the victim.Individual peace of mind is nothing compared to major harm done to any one in the society.Though it is a fact that punishment cannot bring down crimes, forgiveness also cannot help reducing the crime rate.
Jayasala42

 

Being haunted by things is part of the price we pay for remembering things all too well. Just goes with the territory of being able to conjugate irregular verbs in 3 languages. If you cannot forget, because your synaptics are fused with a pretty strong soldering agent, there are some dual-use avenues for such memories. Ignore and move on, or plot revenge. Either way, the only question should be: Are we having fun?