The End of My Marriage

Kodavati, sorry to hear about your situation. I am really sorry.. But you are wise enough to start a new life. Please contact local domestic violence support group. They can help you. There is one in Bay area, CA called Narika. They help wiht advice, shelter and lawyers. Contact them. Don't worry about your sister. She will get a good husband. You also should look forward for better life.

All the best.
CL

 

Hi Kodavati..... feel sorry for your situation.

Me too in same position. My younger sister getting lot of proposals despite me being seperated with a kid. Dont worry... soceity is now accpeting the families of divorcees.

Since you have decided to seperate. Just concentrate on how to come out clean and make your life better. Settle in job, be strong emotionally. Everything will be fine.

 

Kodavati life is too short to live and too short to spoil your moments you have come out of all that be brave and dont think your sister will have to face any problem its not your fault not her fault. People are wise enough to take their own decision. Forget the past and try what can be done in future and go ahead dont think too much relax and go ahead.

 

every end has a new beginning......so dont worry
and take a brave step
dont think of ur sisters they will have a very good life
and u can make understand ur parents the situation
so make a decesion and come out
all the best

 

Kodavati, Cheer up, its not going to be the end of the world, in all likelihood you are on the verge of welcoming in a new life with lot of fresh air and peace. If things between you couldn't be mended for those long 5 yrs, there no point enduring further.
Gone are those days where marriages are fixed by looking at the status of the sister’s marriage. Even if there are alliances which give significance to the bride’s sisters life; then those are better shooed off. Such superficial people don't even understand the whole intuition of marriage. Good luck in your endeavors.
MEGALIFE

 

Hi ladies,
I have recently joined this forum & this is my first post.
I am going through bad times too.
I have a kid of 2 & 1/2 yrs & planning to file for divorce in January 2012.
I am a victim of

domestic violence
mental torture
verbal abusement since last 8 yrs
torture on money matters

I am in lot of turmoil since last few months. I was the last person to think about divorce. Now I am being forced to file for it.

I have lots of questions comming up daily in my mind like

- after effects of divorce
- my husbands over reactive & violent nature towards me filing for divorce (though he is the one always threatening me with divorce & not giving it since 8 yrs)
-challenges of single parenthood
-loneliness
-my plans to go back to India
-child custody

I really want to get connected to ladies living in CA who have gone though similar situation & know about the laws

 

Hugs to you! My heart goes out for you. I can understand you as I had undergone this pain in past. In my case it was me who walked out of abusive marriage. I just have to tell you that keep patience, everything will be fine. With time all the pain wither away. In initial days even my head was spinning in all direction but with time I have moved on. Time is the best medicine and it can make you forget the biggest of pain. So keep patience. Nothing much you can do to change the situation so just "Lose that Loser". He doesn't deserve you. Have faith in god, surely there is much better stored for you in future. See the counsellor and meet some lawyer to get divorce advice. As far as your sister is concerned, don't worry about her. Your divorce cannot have bad impact on her. Nowadays world is moving fast and things are changing. Most people have become liberal and broad minded. And your sister should find someone who really loves her and make her happy. Whoever will like/love her will marry her regardless of your divorce. Gone are the days when having a divorcee status on head was big stigma and the siblings of divorcee brother/sister had to suffer. Now situations are changing. You and your sister only need to learn from past mistakes. Trust me, divorce may end your marriage but it will give you lots of relief also as u will come out of abuse. I felt the same. Forget past and stop worrying future. Leave on god and trust on him and have confidence in yourself. If possible study further or take up a job for financial independence. From your post it seems you don't have kids so it is good thing. If he don't treat you well then it is better to walk out and move on. And ya, one more thing, he wants to end this relationship so don't let him go so easily, file for maintainance. I can't give you legal advice but you should contact some lawyer and get advice or you can ask your question in lawyersclubindia . com

 

OP:
Check the divorce rules for your state and then you will know if you need a lawyer or if you can do it yourself. Uncontested divorces especially without property/kids are just paperwork so you can often do it for only filing fees and it is relatively quick. Also, divorces in Nevada take something like six weeks but one partner needs to be living there (they have hotels that cater to this) and are cheaper. Google on that.

Remember: one door shuts, another opens.

 

Kodavathi,
Hugs to you. I remember you from your old posts.
You have done your best. Please move on. You need love and compassion. Like coffee lover said look for the local support organization and get help.
Are you working? Take care of yourself.
Don't worry about sister's marriage. Everything will work out for good.
Parents will understand your decisions. All parents want is their daughter to be happy and lead a peaceful life.
All the best.